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Jesse Jackson Jr.
  • Jesse Jackson Jr. Resigns

    And, thus, another promising congressional career is cut heartbreakingly short

    The once-promising political career of Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. came to a crashing end Wednesday, when the Illinois Democrat announced he would resign his seat in Congress amid treatment for mental illness, stories of marital infidelity and a pair of federal investigations.

    The Illinois Democrat, the son of the civil rights icon, has been mostly missing from the House since June. Jackson Jr., 47, has been under federal investigations for alleged involvement in campaign finance improprieties as well as his involvement in imprisoned former Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s attempt to sell President Barack Obama’s U.S. Senate seat…

    It’s a tragic end for a once highly promising political career. At different times, Jackson considered running for Senate and toyed with running for mayor of Chicago.

    It is tragic. He was off to such a great start. And he could have done so much more! He never got a chance to tweet out a picture of his genitals. He never had the opportunity to get caught wearing a diaper with a prostitute. He never even got to proposition a random traveler in an airport restroom.

    America's heart weeps for the lost opportunities.

    Photo by Chris Maddaloni/CQ Roll Call/Getty Images

    Tags: House of Representatives, Illinois, Jesse Jackson Jr.
  • Jesse Jackson, Jr. May Spend Some Time in Jail

    Looks like Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. — who won reelection to Illinois' 2nd congressional district despite being currently hospitalized for bipolar disorder — might be carrying on a time-honored state tradition of resigning from office in disgrace and/or handcuffs

    CBS 2 Chief Correspondent Jay Levine reported Friday night that high-powered defense attorney and former federal prosecutor Dan Webb was negotiating a tentative deal with the U.S. Justice Department in Washington, D.C.

    Under terms of the deal, Jackson would resign for health reasons, plead guilty to misusing campaign funds and possibly do jail time. He'd have to repay any campaign funds that were converted for personal use, and serve at least some jail time…

    If Jackson steps down, a special election would have to be held to replace him in Congress.

    And thus the circle of Illinois political life would come full circle. God willing, the lucky new congressperson would eventually get to spend some time in jail as well. Well, one can only hope.

    Photo by Chris Maddaloni/CQ Roll Call/Getty Images

    Tags: Crime, House of Representatives, Illinois, Jesse Jackson Jr.
  • House Dems Reveal Socialist Scheme to Increase Minimum Wage

    Capitol DomeThose Democrats just can't go a day without slamming down their fists down on their Little Red Books and adjusting their Trotsky glasses and screaming Socialism! to their pagan gods in atheist heaven, can they?

    In their newest wealth redistribution gambit, they're hoping to raise the minimum wage to a whopping $10 an hour

    [Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr.] said his bill, the Catching Up to 1968 Act, is needed to help low-income workers "catch up" to inflation, which he said is eating away at the current federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour. He also said it would give these workers more income and boost overall demand for the struggling economy.

    "The bill will affect more than 30 million workers and give the economy an immediate boost by significantly increasing aggregate demand," he said of his bill, which would impose the hike immediately. "Most economists that I've talked with said there was no economic reason to increase it incrementally over a couple of years."

    Let's see… $2.75 over a 40 hour work week is an extra $110. Over 52 weeks, that's $5,720. For 30 million workers. That's $171.6 billion. Are Congressional Democrats really proposing the annual transfer of $171.6 billion from noble and wise job creators to baseborn and dim-witted job havers? I mean, these are minimim wage workers we're talking about. I doubt they could even tell a dressage horse from a quarter horse. What are they going to do with $171.6 billion? Piss it away on Jerky Boy records and Cheetos, no doubt. Whatever the commoners do to wile away their existences.

    Here's my proposal: Let's take that $171.6 billion and give it to the Koch Brothers. And to Mitt Romney's friends. And maybe some corporations. For safe keeping! That way, in case those minimum wage workers ever need it — I mean, really need it — we know where it is.

    Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Democrats, House of Representatives, Jesse Jackson Jr., Money
  • Inauguration Night Life: The Congresspeople of Congress

    Earlier we gave you a taste of the red-hot celebrities who descended upon Washington in hopes of getting within eyeshot of mega-church mega-star Rick Warren!

    What you may not realize is that inside the Beltway, the likes of Tom Brokaw, Michael Wilbon and company are considered second-tier celebrities. Sure they may have fame and fortune, but can any of those guys invoke cloture on floor debate or suggest the absence of a quorum?

    For those kinds of stars, we want you to meet the men and women who keep Washington running… Escorts.

    But also, here are some photos of us with members of Congress.

    Here's California Congressman Henry Waxman, who celebrated his recent election as Chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee by purchasing a shiny new pair of platform shoes.

    The hottest name in Washington right now (or at least since Rep. Virgil Goode (R-VA) lost re-election) has to be Roland Burris, the brand-new Senator from Illinois. Here he is caught off guard by a man wearing a wet cat on his head, whom he mistook for Governor Rod Blagojevich.

    Sen. Olympia Snowe is a real nice lady who represents the State of Maine. She grew up in Augusta, moved to Auburn, but now lives in Falmouth, which is over under Cuxabexis down to the Penobscot County line, cross to Caucomgomoc, then get on a snow machine and head yourself down to Piscataquis… well… actually you can't get theah from heah.

    We had a great time with Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson, who wants you to know that Omaha is the home of the College World Series and Warren Buffett — and is a great stopover on your way to Wichita.

    And here is Florida Senator Bill Nelson, who is also a nice man. Although come to think of it, maybe this one is Ben Nelson, which would make the other guy Bill. We understand that this kind of confusion is always popping up between President Jimmy Carter and Dwayne "Lil Wayne" Carter.

    Jesse Jackson, Jr. looked trim and fit at the Illinois State Society Gala, and the ladies on his arm would certainly agree. No doubt Jackson had just arrived from a 3 hour sparring session at Sugar Ray Leonard's Maryland gym, preparing for his upcoming prize fight with Rep. Michele "Rambo" Bachmann (R-MN) on the House floor.

    Tags: Ben Nelson, Bill Nelson, California, Florida, Henry Waxman, House of Representatives, Illinois, Inauguration, Jesse Jackson Jr., Maine, Nebraska, Olympia Snowe, Roland Burris, Senate, Washington DC
  • Rod Blagojevich Was Practically Giving that Senate Seat Away

    While Jesse Jackson Jr. and his lawyer are making a case that the Congressman might not have actually offered Rod Blagojevich money for the vacant Illinois Senate seat, the fact remains that the FBI has the Governor on record expressing a willingness to accept upwards of $1.5 million to appoint Jackson.

    The Blagojevich indictment states that during an Oct. 31 conversation, Blagojevich described an approach from an associate of Senate Candidate Five: "We were approached 'pay to play.' That, you know, he'd raise me 500 grand. An emissary came. Then the other guy would raise a million, if I made him [Senate Candidate 5] a senator."

    But as it turns out, a mil and a half is a bargain for a Senate seat. The Club for Growth got out their calculator, crunched the numbers and figured out how much the job is worth.

    Salary over two terms = $1.9 million

    12 years as a lobbyist = $4.5 million

    Pension until age 84 = $1.8 million

    Which all adds up to a grand total of $6.2 million dollars. And Blagojevich was willing to let it go for less than a quarter of that.

    I don't know if I'd vote for him, but I'd definitely buy a stereo from Crazy Rod's Home Appliances.

    Tags: Illinois, Jesse Jackson Jr., Rod Blagojevich, Senate