Don't you get tired of far-right conservative religious leaders always going on about Barack Obama is the Antichrist this and Barack Obama is the Antichrist that? It can get really repetitive and tiresome, don't you think?
Well, Texas megachurch pastor Robert Jeffress agrees with you. As a matter of fact, he has a very different message for his congregation…
"I want you to hear me tonight, I am not saying that President Obama is the Antichrist, I am not saying that at all. One reason I know he's not the Antichrist is the Antichrist is going to have much higher poll numbers when he comes," said Jeffress.
"President Obama is not the Antichrist. But what I am saying is this: the course he is choosing to lead our nation is paving the way for the future reign of the Antichrist."
You see! Obama's not the One Who Shall Bring About the End of Times. He's simply the guy who's bringing in the One Who Shall Bring About the End of Times. A sort of Barack the Baptist, if you will.
Such a breath of fresh air, to hear reasonable people talking sense for once.
Photo by Sara D. Davis/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Antichrist, Barack Obama, Christianity, Religion
By re-electing Barack Obama, we made the Almighty Lord Jehovah very angry, and now He's very likely to smite us with His fiery wrath.
Sorry, but facts are facts…
[S]piritually, Tuesday’s results sent America further down a "path of destruction."
"Unless we’re willing to repent for our sins, we will stand in his judgment," [Franklin] Graham said Wednesday, shortly after leaving a birthday party for his father, evangelist Billy Graham, in Montreat. "I want to warn America: God is coming around. He will judge sin, and it won't be pretty."
Graham didn't specify if God is only mad at us over all the abortion rights and gay marriage stuff or if He also hates Mexicans and universal health care, too. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that one of His biggest peeves is with raising taxes on the top 1%. Can imagine how much the IRS is going to expect from an entity who reigns over the entirety of the cosmos?
Tags: Billy Graham, Christianity, Franklin Graham, Religion
As Hurricane Sandy barrels up the Eastern seaboard, those of us who have already made the appropriate preparations are left with only two questions…
1) What did the gays do this time to bring on the storm? Was it New York State's new gay marriage law, Maryland and Maine's referendums on marriage equality, or the San Francisco Giants winning the World Series? And…
2) Who will win the douchebag prize for winning the race to make the above connection?
Tags: Christianity, LGBT, Natural Disasters, Religion
While addressing the goodly crowd at Tony Perkins' annual Values Voter Summit this afternoon, Kirk Cameron lamented a sad reality of life that I think a lot of us know all too well…
"If only my name was Marty McFly and I had a DeLorean. And I could go back and talk to [the Founding Fathers] and asked them 'What are we doing wrong?'"
If only we could live and behave like a fictional character in an invented world that is not beholden everyday physics as is understood by science, one in which the bad guys are punished and the good guys live happily ever after. Sigh. If only…
Alas. I suppose Kirk Cameron and all the other conservative Christians who are attending the Values Voter Summit with him this weekend will just have to make due with their Biblical interpretation of reality. At least until they're all raptured away while the rest of us are hurled into a lake of fire that shall never be quenched.
Tags: Christianity, Founding Fathers, Kirk Cameron, Movies, Nerdiness, Tony Perkins, Values Voter Summit
David Fowler — president of the Family Action Council of Tennessee, one of those embarrassing public relations firms for Jesus that the big guy probably doesn't know he hired — has finally figured out the meaning of Mark 10:21-22.
The verse reads, "You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me," but the deeper meaning says, "Don't do any of that shit, because if you give the poor any help, they're gonna expect it all the damn time."
So sayeth Fowler…
His solution, posted on his personal Facebookpage, is to follow the advice of the National Park Service: "Do not feed the animals."
"Their stated reason for the policy is because the animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves," Fowler wrote in the post. "This ends today's lesson."
All this stuff must be in the missing Gnostic gospels, the supplementary materials that explains why Jesus chased the money-changers from the temple. (Because there was more room for them in the halls of Congress, duh.)
This also represents progress for many of Tennessee's reactionaries. Yes, they're linking the recipients of SNAP benefits to wild animals and calling for the law of the jungle to apply to human social life, but at least they finally have some nice things to say about Darwinism.
Photo by Tim Boyle/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Animals, Christianity, Food, Tennessee