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Jim Bunning
  • The Onion: Majority of Government Doesn't Trust Citizens Either

    A lot of news sources are reporting on popular anger against the government these days. But how many are reporting on government anger against the populace?

    At a time when widespread polling data suggests that a majority of the U.S. populace no longer trusts the federal government, a Pew Research Center report has found that the vast majority of the federal government doesn't trust the U.S. populace all that much either…

    Out of 100 U.S. senators polled, 84 said they don't trust the U.S. populace to do what is right, and 79 said Americans are not qualified to do their jobs.

    "This is the same American populace that failed to prevent us from deregulating the banks that almost caused a complete economic meltdown last year," Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY) said. "Year after year, they elect terrible officials who make terrible decisions on their behalf. The fact that I, Jim Bunning, am a two-term U.S. senator really shows you just how far Americans have gone off the rails."

    "I wouldn't trust anyone who voted me into office," he added.

    Tags: House of Representatives, Jim Bunning, Senate, The Onion
  • Behold the Coming of Rand Paul

    How familiar would you say you are you with Rand Paul — Republican nominated senatorial candidate for Kentucky and 47-year-old spawn of Rep. Ron Paul? Did you say "Not very familiar"? "Quite familiar"? "Super-extremo familiar"?

    Doesn't matter. You're about to get a whole lot more familiar with him over the course of the next several months/years/eons…

    Paul notched a decisive win in Kentucky's Republican primary, dousing the hopes of the party establishment and signaling that the Tea Party movement could wield considerable clout in November. "I have a message from the Tea Party," Paul told supporters gathered at his victory party on the back porch of a Bowling Green country club. "A message that is loud and clear and does not mince words: We have come to take our government back."

    The Bluegrass State showdown pitted the handpicked candidate of the Republican establishment against the standard bearer of the conservative insurgency. Paul, the son of the Texas Congressman, former GOP presidential candidate and libertarian icon Ron Paul, has never held political office. But he walloped Trey Grayson, the 38-year-old Secretary of State who was ushered by Kentucky's senior Senator, minority leader Mitch McConnell, toward the post vacated by outgoing Senator Jim Bunning.

    It seems like somewhat of an understatement to describe Rand Paul as "the standard bearer of the conservative insurgency." He's the son of the man who invented the modern Tea Party movement. Both he and it were born of the same mad scientist. That's some kind of insane Elizabethan metaphor shit going on there.

    Salon's War Room is claiming that Democratic nominee Jack Conway has a sporting shot at beating him. But that, to me, seems implausible. I think that the only way anyone will be defeating Rand Paul this election cycle will be through some kind of bullshit metaphysical battle of internal energy, like how the Hulk killed Nick Nolte at the end of that awful first Hulk film. And I just don't see Jack Conway pulling that off any more convincingly than Ang Lee did.

    Tags: Jim Bunning, Kentucky, Primaries, Rand Paul, Republicans, Ron Paul, Senate, Tea Party
  • Jim Bunning's Acquiescence Broke the Senate's Stalemate (Not to Mention Stephen Colbert's Poor, Tattered Heart)

    How do you bounce back when somebody toys with your emotions, like Kentucky Sen. Jim Bunning did with Stephen's (and, by extension, all of real America's)?

    Let's just say that Ben & Jerry's doesn't make a container of Chunky Monkey big enough to heal this much heartbreak…

    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

    Tags: Jim Bunning, Kentucky, Senate, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Unemployment, Video
  • Jim Bunning Abandons His Brave Protest Against Unemployment Benefits

    Imagine, if you will, a lone figure holding his position against attacks from all sides — left, right, the elevator — simply to make the point that  unemployed people should not receive unemployment benefits, because that involves spending money, and spending money is inherently bad unless it is being spent on your own earmarks.

    Could anything make our brave soldier back down? Anything at all?

    After holding up the bill since last Thursday, Mr. Bunning retreated under pressure from members of his own party as well as intense criticism from Democrats, who had threatened to keep the Senate in session while lawmakers unloaded on the Kentucky Republican. The agreement essentially allowed Mr. Bunning the vote that he could have had last week but refused.

    Mr. Bunning's about-face came after his fellow Republicans began to air their own concerns about how the Senate blockade had the potential to damage their political brand while also having a direct impact on their constituents.

    Good point. If the Bunning blockade was only impacting their constituents, maybe Republicans could've lived with it. But suffering constituents plus brand damage, nah, gotta do something. At least one GOPer is still standing by his man…

    "He's my hero this week," said Senator Jim DeMint, the conservative Republican from South Carolina.

    Yep, when you're Jim DeMint's hero, it's time to pack it in.

    Tags: Jim Bunning, Jim DeMint, Republicans, Senate, Unemployment
  • Grubby Reporters Attack Jim Bunning's Special Elevator

    Jim Bunning is a Senator, and being a Senator gives you certain privileges. For one thing, you get to stand between thousands of Americans and their unemployment benefits. For another thing, you get your very own elevator.

    Here's Sen. Bunning attempting to ride his special elevator while a crew from ABC News attempts to ask him why he's standing between thousands of Americans and their unemployment benefits bothers him. Watch:

    According to ABC, Bunning also "shot the middle finger over his head," but for some reason this priceless moment was not captured on camera.

    Ahh, the news media. Always letting the American people down in their time of need.

    Tags: Jim Bunning, Senate, Unemployment