7 Weird Bills Introduced in the New Congress

Enthusiasts of renaming post offices, rejoice! Congress has returned  to session, but honoring local heroes is not the only thing they can do. They're also good at filing "message" legislation intended to show their constituents they care about various pet causes.

Whether you're a conspiracy theorist hounded by the UN's black helicopters or just a survivalist goldbug awaiting an economic cataclysm, take comfort in knowing that some member of Congress hears your concerns:

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Tags: House of Representatives, Jim Moran, John Conyers, Jose Serrano, Laws, Paul Broun, Rob Woodall, Senate

Rep. Jim Moran (D-VA) Wants to Regulate Boner Pill Ads

Virginia Congressman Jim Moran of the Democratic Socialist Party wants to rob us of our constitutional right to see old dudes with hard-ons by banning TV ads for erectile dysfunction medication from 6am to 10pm. It reminds me of that famous old poem that goes, "First they came for the prime-time boner pill commercials, but I did not speak up because I am not a prime-time boner pill commercial."

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: Jim Moran, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video

Virginia Congressperson Hates Erectile Dysfunction Commercials Almost as Much as I Do

I'm getting up there in years, and I really can't say I'm too pleased when forced to imagine people my age having sex — my own self least of all –  so you can probably imagine my feelings about the 30,000 Viagra commercials — featuring people even older than me –  I'm forced to watch any time I turn on the television.

Thank God, some heroic congressperson is finally introducing some "No Wrinkly Balls in My Thoughts" legislation onto the floor of Congress…

Last month, Democratic Rep. Jim Moran introduced the "Families for ED Advertising Decency Act," which prevents erectile dysfunction and male enhancement ads from appearing on radio and television between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m.

"This [the advertisements] is an intrusion into our daily lives that I believe has become inappropriate." Moran said in an interview with CNN. "There is a saturation of the television airwaves with these E.D. ads, and they have gotten more pervasive, more blunt, and less subtle."

I can't really say I agree with Rep. Moran on the reasons for this bill. I don't think it's a matter of "decency" so much as good taste.

But whatever will remove from my mind the persistent, unwanted fantasy of salt-and-pepper-haired men with fake teeth and impossibly large chins grinding away on top of their dissatisfied wives is alright with me.

Tags: House of Representatives, Jim Moran, Sex, Virginia