Joe Biden Blog Posts | Comedy Central Indecision

Shotgun Joe Biden Got Some Advice for You

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Feb 28, 2013 02:25 PM by Ilya Gerner | Comments:

Dear America, whether it's a question about sex, guns or the real-estate market, Joe Biden has the answer you need.

Dear Mr. Vice President,
I feel like my teenage sister is making a big mistake. For the past six months she's been dating a guy I like to call Douchey McGee. He doesn't return her calls, then comes over uninvited. I've told her to break it off, but she won't listen. Is it my place to do anything? – Dan in California

Dear Dan,
You have one job: Keep boys away from your sister. – Joe Biden PS. If you need any help on your pecs, man, give me a call.

Dear Joe,
Thanks for the advice! But working out is boring, so I bought an AR-15. Not only will this keep creeps away from my sister, my dad says it's a good thing to have handy for when you and the president start forcing us to buy health insurance. – Dan in California

Woah there Dan,
You know, my shotgun will do better for you than your AR-15, because you want to keep someone away from your house, just fire the shotgun through the door. – Joe Biden

Dear Mr. Vice President,
I'm a 24-year-old woman dating an older man. He's kind and loving, but recently we've been having trouble in the bedroom. How can I approach him about his impotency issues without ruining our relationship? - Between a Rock and an Unhard Place

Dear BARAAUP,
No dates until you're 30. – Joe Biden

Dear Vice President Biden,
My husband and I are thinking of buying a home, but everything in our price range looks like it was built for dwarves or Europeans. Is it possible to raise a happy family in cramped quarters? - Sulking in Seattle

Dear SIS,
Growing up in a small house was wonderful for children. By the way — having your grandpop living with you, having your great aunt, your uncle, for real. Those walls were awful thin. I wonder how the hell my parents did it. But that's a different story. I know you don't know anything about that. – Joe Biden

Tags: Guns, Joe Biden, Sex

Tweet Roundup: Threat Level Woodward

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Feb 28, 2013 12:45 PM by Lisa Beth Johnson | Comments:

The fact that some people are using the term "Woodwardgate" may very well cause a tear in the ironic space-time continuum.

— Mike Glenn (@mrglenn) February 28, 2013

White House also warned Bob Woodward he would regret liveTweeting for The Onion on Oscar night.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) February 28, 2013

Wednesday's Links: An Animated Drone Conversation

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Feb 20, 2013 05:00 PM by Lisa Beth Johnson | Comments:

* Mark Fiore's new cartoon about Obama's drone justifications.

* Joe Biden must be in the pocket of big shotgun.

* Five countries that are secretly badass.

* "Constitution USA with Peter Sagal" is coming to PBS this spring.

* An award-winning animated short film on how fast Earth spins beneath us.

* Nerd prom host Conan O'Brien's failed coffee table books include a compilation of New Yorker cartoons.

* The Los Angeles Review of Books makes a prediction about Nate Silver. See how it feels, buddy.

Tags: Barack Obama, California, Conan O'Brien, Daily Links, Drones, Guns, Joe Biden, Mark Fiore, Nate Silver, Science & Technology, The New Yorker

Tweet Untweet: Happy Bidenday!

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Feb 18, 2013 03:39 PM by Lisa Beth Johnson | Comments:

If everybody stays in bed tomorrow and claims it's Vice President's Day they won't be able to stop us.

— Nick Youssef (@NickYoussef) February 18, 2013

Tags: Joe Biden, President's Day, Tweet Untweet, vice president