Rep. Joe Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy Wins in West Virginia

This Democratic senatorial candidate — whom the DSM-IV has referred to as Factitious Disorder in which one purposefully injures another person (most often a child or family member) so as to gain sympathy and attention — appears to have beat out his Republican opponent in West Virginia.

As such, the Democrats will hold onto the seat previously held by the late Sen. Robert Avian Influenza.

Stephen Colbert Talks to a Democrat Who's Not Afraid to Not Pretend He's Not a Democrat

Lemme get this straight: Democrat Tom Perriello is running for Congress in 2010 as a Democrat? Wow, these people are more self-destructive than I thought they were…

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

With Democrats Like These . . .

…who needs an increasingly-likely Republican takeover of the Senate?

Forget it, Jake. It's West Virginiatown.

(via Andrew Sullivan)

ScandalGate: West Virginian Political Ad Uses Actors Pretending to Be Real People

Hoe Lee Sheet! This is the most hugestest political scandal since Nixon spent all that money to build that gate made out of water.

West Virginian Republican senatorial candidate John Raese recently released an ad which features several men dressed in working class clothes having what appears to be a very candid and very not-scripted-sounding talking-point-laden conversation about his opponent Gov. Joe Manchin. But get this… These supposed West Virginian men are… ACTORS!!!

A Republican ad that shows a couple of regular-looking guys commiserating in a diner about West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin (D) turns out to have been shot with actors, from a script, in Philadelphia.

Never before, in the history of television political advertising, has anybody stooped so low as to pay people money to pretend to have opinions that they may or may not actually hold! The implications of these are legion! What if our politicians started to behave like that themselves?

But that's not the worst part. Oh no! It gets much much worse…

But not just any actors: "We are going for a 'Hicky' Blue Collar look," read the casting call for the ad, being aired by the National Republican Senatorial Committee. "These characters are from West Virginia so think coal miner/trucker looks."

"Clothing Suggestions" included jeans, work boots, flannel shirt, denim shirt, "Dickie’s type jacket with t-shirt underneath," down-filled vest, "John Deer [sic] hats (not brand new, preferably beat up),” "trucker hats (not brand new, preferably beat up)."

Jesus Christ! West Virginia's vast population of billionaires and blue blood heirs of royalty must be spit-taking osetra caviar and crème fraiche all over their brand new early-blue-period Picassos! This is slanderous!

In a statement Thursday morning, Manchin said: "John Raese and his special interest friends have insulted the people of West Virginia and need to immediately apologize. Not only have they been spending millions to try and buy this election with lies and distortions, we can now see once and for all what he and his friends really think of West Virginia and our people."

How dare John Raese take the time out of his busy campaign to personally write the casting call and costume suggestions for a 30-second campaign ad and then not portray them as the Austrian archdukes and Romanian viscounts who so overwhelmingly populate the state?

West Virginia Is No Swing State When It Comes to the Senate

While the West Virginia presidential results are still too close to call, the Senate race is anything but.  Welcome back, Jay Rockefeller!

Despite a rightward tilt throughout the state, Rockefeller has risen to great heights on the strength of his family name.  (In case you didn't already know, his uncle was the man who preceded Malcolm Wilson as governor of New York.)  Regardless of how West Virginians feel about Barack Obama or John McCain, they love their celebrity Senator.

Also breaking… the state has re-elected Democratic Governor Joe Manchin, who, in his previous term announced that West Virginia's state motto would be "open for business." Given the economic crisis, that slogan has proven to be as accurate as "mission accomplished," but West Virginians are a forgiving bunch.