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Joe Miller
  • Ten Great Moments in Political Misspellings

    1. Mitt Romney's campaign misspells America as Amercia. Amercian Acceptionalism has never been so exceptionable.

    2. But he was not the first to sing the praises of Amercia the Beautiful, whose fruited plains were first extolled by Tea Party protesters in 2010.

    3. Rick Santorum's campaign sent reporters an email titled "MEDIA ADVISORY: SANTORUM'S PUBIC SCHEDULE." 15 minutes later, staffers sent a correction, though Santorum himself remained obsessed with all things pubic.

    4. Jon Huntsman inaugurated his 2012 campaign with an event at the Statue of Liberty that featured press passes reading "John Huntsman for President"  – adding an unnecessary H in the candidate's first name. The same mistake was made in mailers sent to New Hampshire voters. If only the votes for John Huntsman could be combined with the votes for Jon Huntsman, 2012's most sane Republican contender would… still have lost.

    Read More »


    Tags: Dan Quayle, Joe Miller, Jon Huntsman, Lisa Murkowski, Martha Coakley, Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Tea Party
  • Nancy Pelosi and Lisa Murkowski Get to Keep Their Jobs

    Despite a lot of hoopla and kerfuffle amongst pundits, it appears as though two of Congress' highest profile women have managed to successfully fend off rearguard attacks from men representing more conservative factions of their own parties.

    Nancy Pelosi will continue to lead the House Democrats in feckless futility

    Nancy Pelosi has been elected to lead House Democrats in the new Congress despite presiding over the loss of more than 60 House seats in the midterm elections. Pelosi ultimately had little trouble repelling the challenge from [North Carolina Rep. Heath] Shuler, one of the relatively-conservative Blue Dog Democrats who saw their numbers decimated in the midterms. The secret ballot vote was 150 for Pelosi to 43 for Shuler.

    And Lisa Murkowski will continue work with Senate Republicans to block all meaningful progress from occurring

    Sen. Lisa Murkowski has become the first Senate candidate in more than 50 years to win a write-in campaign. Ms. Murkowski emerged victorious after a painstaking, two-week count of write-in ballots showed she has overtaken tea party rival Joe Miller. Her victory became clear when Alaska election officials confirmed they had only about 700 votes left to count, putting Ms. Murkowski in safe territory to win re-election.

    This isn't just a good day for Pelosi and Murkowski. Nor just for women nationwide. It's good for all taxpayers in the country. Because the Senate just voted against a bill that would have made us have to pay these women the same amount as the dudes who were trying to take their jobs. Score!

    The Senate voted 58-41 against allowing debate on the Paycheck Fairness Act, which would help end discriminatory pay practices against women. It had already passed the House. More than 45 years after passage of the Equal Pay Act, the pay gap shockingly persists with women still earning on average 77 cents to every man's dollar…

    Not a single Republican supported the bill, including Sens. Olympia Snowe (R-ME) and Susan Collins (R-ME)… Sen. Ben Nelson (D-NE)… was the lone Democrat voting against the bill today. Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) was not present for the vote.

    Nice to know Murkowski will soon be back where she belongs, on the Senate floor, voting in lockstep with her party, teaching young women an important lesson. That women are just as adept at subjugating women as any man.


    Tags: Heath Shuler, House of Representatives, Joe Miller, Lisa Murkowski, Men and Women, Money, Nancy Pelosi, Senate
  • Joe Miller's Lawsuit Against Improper Spelling

    Senatorial candidate Joe Miller — who is currently trailing Alaska's write-in candidates by 11,333 — is hoping to sue his way into beating incumbent Sen. Lisa Merkowitzky, demanding that the state throw out all votes for her that fail to spell her correctly

    Miller is asking a judge to stop the state from making a judgment on a voter's intentions if the voter wrote in something other than "Murkowski" or "Lisa Murkowski." State law allows no leeway for other spellings, his lawsuit says…

    The Murkowski campaign reacted to Tuesday's lawsuit by accusing Miller of trying to toss out legitimate votes for the eight-year incumbent. "They're trying to discount as many votes as possible from Alaskans," Murkowski campaign manager Kevin Sweeney said.

    Let's say he achieves his goal, forces a court decision and beats Murquelskvi. Is that really the way he wants to win? Will a victory by lawsuit fit in with his narrative as a breath of fresh Alaskan air in the stale halls of D.C. he's been fostering?

    And, also, couldn't possibly hurt Miller amongst voters who lack the mental acuity needed for reading and writing? I mean, aren't those people his base?


    Tags: Alaska, Joe Miller, Lisa Murkowski, Senate
  • Spider-Man Emerges as Possible Dark Horse Winner in Alaska Senate Race

    Stephen Colbert digs down into this clusterfudge* of a three-way senate race they've got going on up there at the top of the world, and uncovers a fourth candidate. One with a secret identity. One that you'll never guess (unless you read the title of this post)…

    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

    .

    * Mmmmmmmm… clusterfudge


    Tags: Alaska, Joe Miller, Lisa Murkowski, Scott McAdams, Senate, Spider-Man, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video
  • Alaskans Still Unsure Who Will Be Working Against Their Best Interests in the Senate

    For the second election cycle in a row, an incredibly tight senate race will leave citizens of the See Russia From Your Kitchen State waiting about a fortnight or so to find out who will be representing them in our nation's capitol.

    Will it be the lady whose daddy loves her so much he made her a senator? Will it be the make-believe lumberjack minion of Sarah Palin? Or will it be the Democrat? (Spoiler Alert: It will not be the Democrat.)

    In the end, 41% of the votes went to write-in candidates while 34.3% went to the Republican nominee Miller. Under Alaska election rules, all of the ballots will be counted to determine how many were for write-in candidate Murkowski. Only 23.6% went to McAdams.

    So, Democrat Scott McAdams — who has since conceded — ended with less than a quarter of the vote? Weren't there a bunch of progressive out there trying to convince us that he actually had a shot? 23.6 percent is really not very much of a percent. To put things into a little perspective, Alvin Greene — novelty candidate/comic book character in South Carolina's senate race — ended his night with 28 percent. Sure, sure, McAdams was in a three-way race. But he was in a three way race against two Republicans, one of which stomped around the state with his own personal mercenary police force and the other of which was a write-in candidate with an unspellable name.

    But, you know, 41 percent over 34.3 seems pretty decisive. Sure, we don't know how many of those write-in votes were for Liza Murblowsky, but we can assume that most of them are, right? How many write-in candidates can their be?

    There are also 10,645 questioned ballots according to the Anchorage Daily News, so there are a lot of votes potentially still in play for both Republican candidates. And a flood of last-minute write-in candidates, which was pushed by Miller's conservative supporters, could mean that many of those unopened write-in ballots are not for Murkowski.

    So, conservatives were trying get a bunch of people to write-in votes for other non-Murglebrowski candidates? Wouldn't those people's votes have been more effective if they'd just been cast for Miller? Bah! What do I know? Fuckin' numbers! How do they work?

    Originally, the state had planned to begin the count on November 18. But Lt. Gov. Craig Campbell says he wants to move the count up to start next week.

    Here's what will happen: The state will begin counting absentee ballots on Tuesday. The questioned ballots will be looked at later in the week. The count of the write-in ballots will begin on Wednesday in Juneau, and could continue through Friday. Absentee write-ins will be counted as they come in, and the final count will occur on November 17 for overseas absentees.

    At which point, the two remaining candidates will find out which one will be doomed to spend their time toiling in a frozen, dark wasteland mostly devoid of humanity and which one will stay in Alaska.


    Tags: Alaska, Joe Miller, Lisa Murkowski, Scott McAdams, Senate