On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart officially began coverage of the 2012 Presidential race, profiling such potential GOP candidates as Tim Pawlenty, Mitt Romney, Donald Trump and Sarah Palin. I don't know about you, but I really can't see any of them being able to carry out fundamental conservative policies like opposing a public health care option, maintaining The Patriot Act and perpetuating the war in Afghanistan. Ooh, you know who they should get? Barack Obama!
Coverage continues after the jump.
Tags: Donald Trump, John Bolton, Jon Stewart, Mike Huckabee, Mitch Daniels, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Sarah Palin, The Daily Show, Tim Pawlenty, Video
I don't know if you've noticed, but there's been something missing in American presidential politics of late. Something of vital importance. And former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton just might be the man to bring it back…
"Yes, I am considering [running for president in 2012]," Bolton told conservative radio show host Aaron Klein's on WABC in New York. "If I did run, and I haven't made a decision, I have never run for office one way or the other, so it would be a pretty big decision to do it."
Bolton, who serves as a Fox News commentator, said he's concerned that the national discourse does not include talk of foreign policy.
That's right! I'm talking, of course, about facial hair. Not since Taft has this great nation been graced with a proper presidential mustache. (And, no, I don't count whatever that dirt was on Obama's upper lip for those few days in June.) And let's not even get into how long we've gone without a full beard or mutton chop sideburns.
Oh, man, it's been too long, hasn't it? Sure, Bolton's idea of foreign policy is waggling his dick in the face of every foreign leader. But look at that glorious stash! I cannot imagine a person better equipped to lead our country bristle-first into a shining new day. Aside from Wilford Brimley, but I have not yet heard anything about him running. (Here's hoping!)
Tags: Fashion, Fox, John Bolton, Republicans, United Nations, William Howard Taft
Remember that devastatingly interesting and thoughtful Daily Show interview with conservative pundit Cliff May that you pretended you watched all the way through a few months back? Well, that interview almost didn't happen, presumably because May was intimidated by Jon Stewart's sharp wit and superlative physical stature.
You'll never guess who was ultimately responsible for making him go through with it. (Or maybe you will. I don't know you. I don't know anything about you!)…
May had a change of heart after soliciting advice from his friend Bill Kristol, editor of the Weekly Standard. "Kristol told me: 'You'll be pleasantly surprised. He doesn't take cheap shots. Jon is smart. You'll do just fine.'" Kristol proved to be right. Stewart's interview of May — a crackling, lengthy debate about where to draw the line between freedom and security — produced one of the most clarifying discussions about torture on television. "Literally, this is the best conversation I've had on this subject anywhere," May told Stewart.
"There is genuine intellectual curiosity," May told New York. "He's a staunch liberal, but he's a thoughtful liberal, and I respect that." May isn't the only conservative gushing about Stewart. While the movement professes a disdain for the "liberal media elite," it has made an exception for the true-blue 46-year-old comedian.
"He always gives you a chance to answer, which some people don't do," says John Bolton, President Bush's ambassador to the United Nations and a Fox News contributor, who went on the show last month. "He's got his perspective, but he's been fair." Says Bolton: "In general, a lot of the media, especially on the left, has lost interest in debate and analysis. It has been much more ad hominem. Stewart fundamentally wants to talk about the issues. That's what I want to do."
Stewart fundamentally wants to talk about the issues, huh?
That's why he's the fake news guy.
Tags: John Bolton, Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, William Kristol
Who's the biggest douche on cable news? It's like asking me which of my racist fingers I want to cut off. It's like making me choose which sociopath star is the most beautiful. It's like if my wife thought Barack Obama was a communist and my son thought he was a fascist and they were both drowning, but I could only save one. In short, it's an impossible question to answer, but Jon Stewart gave it a shot last night.
After the jump, Jon welcomes former UN ambassador John Bolton's mustache back to the show.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, CNN, Fox, Glenn Beck, John Bolton, Jon Stewart, Lou Dobbs, Racism, Sean Hannity, The Daily Show, Video
It's bad enough that Barack Obama thinks Sarah Palin is a pig and seeks to "destroy her" and American women in general. But it gets worse: Research shows he was beaten to the punch by 13 of his Congressional colleagues!
Roll Call, the newspaper of Capitol Hill, did a little digging into the Congressional Record and found 16 variations of the "lipstick on a pig" phrase have been uttered by 13 separate members of the 110th Congress. Behold the list of chauvinist, unpatriotic community organizers currently disgracing our government…
* Rep. Mike Michaud (D-Maine) on the Peru free-trade agreement: "Same old model with a little lipstick."
* Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-Calif.) on trade policy: "You know the old saying about lipstick on a pig? Well, I smell bacon."
* Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.) on withdrawal in Iraq: "Calling this surrender a 'withdrawal' or a 'redeployment' is like putting lipstick on a pig. No matter what you call it, it is still a pig."
* Rep. Lynn "Uppity" Westmoreland (R-Ga.) on energy policy: "The energy bills that were brought out this week was kind of like putting lipstick on a pig."
* Westmoreland, again on energy policy: "It's almost like putting lipstick on a pig. You can make it look good, but it's only going to be a pig."
* Westmoreland, yet again on energy policy: "So while we are passing these bills … it's been putting lipstick on a pig."
* Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) on an omnibus spending bill: "There has been lipstick placed on this pig, but it's still a pig."
* Rep. David Dreier (R-Calif.) on an ethics proposal: "They may have put lipstick on that pig, but it is still a pig."
* Rep. Solomon Ortiz (D-Texas) on the president's veto of a children's health bill: "There's just no lipstick to pretty up this pig."
* Ortiz on language in a border-wall bill: "That puts a little lipstick on the pig."
* Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) on Republican moves on carbon emissions: "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig."
* Rep. Sam Johnson (R-Texas) on a children's health bill alternative: "We have a saying in Texas, if you put lipstick on a pig, it will still be a pig."
* Rep. Howard McKeon (R-Calif.) on equal-pay legislation: "This amendment is the equivalent of putting lipstick on a pig."
* Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) on wiretapping legislation: "It's very difficult to put lipstick on a pig."
* Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-Ga.) on Medicare legislation: "… trying to put lipstick on this legislative pig."
* Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.) on a college- cost bill: "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig."
Doesn't Obama have any ideas of his own? Is he so desperate for fresh sexist comments that he resorts to stealing them from Republican women like Virginia Foxx?
At the very least, he could have broadened the statement to include other members of the animal kingdom, like former UN Ambassador John Bolton, who stated…
"We want a butterfly. We're not going to put lipstick on a caterpillar and declare it a success."
Now that is an example of a non-sexist statement, and for two obvious reasons. One, here we're applying lipstick to a caterpillar instead of a pig. Two, Bolton is a Republican.
Tags: Barack Obama, Barbara Boxer, David Dreier, House of Representatives, Howard McKeon, John Bolton, John Ensign, Linda Sanchez, Lynn Westmoreland, Mike Michaud, Mike Pence, Sarah Palin, Senate, Sheila Jackson, Virginia Foxx