The Hickenlooper: A Fracking Perfect Valentine's Day Cocktail

As the founder of a microbrewery, Gov. John Hickenlooper (D-CO) is among our nation's top experts on quirky libations. Which is why it wasn't surprising to find him telling a U.S. Senate committee that he drank a glass of fracking fluid produced by Halliburton:

"You can drink it. We did drink it around the table, almost ritual-like  in a funny way," he told the Senate Committee on Energy and Natural Resources. "It was a demonstration…they've invested millions of dollars in what is a benign fluid in every sense."

Move over bacon-infused bourbon! Some elements of the fluid remain secret, but with the help of Halliburton's public disclosures, you can recreate The Hickenlooper for whomever you're fracking this Valentine's Day:

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Colorado Governor Introduces Children to "Rising Sex Star"

Life is full of awkward moments. That moment when you wave at someone and they don't wave back. That moment when you say "Fine, thanks" to a stranger saying, "Hello."

That moment when you're Governor of Colorado John Hickenlooper, introducing your Lieutenant Governor, Joe Garcia, at a childhood literacy event attended by about 40 children and an assortment of "fuzzy mascots" at a Denver elementary school and refer to him as a "rising sex star"…

Hickenlooper: "Now I get to introduce that rising sex star…(awkward laughter)…symbol. I mean, symbol – not star."

(Continued awkward laughter)

"This might go down as one of my most difficult press conferences in the history of the office."

And so it was ordained that in March of 2012, the Democratic Party's long-running symbol, the donkey, was at last displaced by the awkward turtle.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images