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John Roberts
  • John Roberts and Barack Obama in "Oath of Office 2: Gettin' it Right"

    Hey, remember that scene in the inauguration when the stuffy Chief Justice messed up the words to the oath of office, and the good guy waited for him to say it right, and then they both started to say it at the same time and it still came out wrong? That was hilarious!

    Audiences couldn't stop raving about that bit, so, typical Hollywood production, they shot a remake last night in the Oval Office…

    President Obama retook his oath of office Wednesday after Chief Justice John Roberts flubbed while delivering it at Tuesday's inauguration.

    The second oath — also administered by Roberts — took place at 7:35 p.m. Wednesday in the White House's Map Room. Roberts asked Obama whether he was ready.

    "I am, and we're going to do it very slowly," Obama replied. [...]

    After a flawless recitation, Roberts smiled and said, "Congratulations again."

    And then Barack Obama grabbed his revolver, jumped on his Jetski and took off for Monte Carlo, where sexy, high-stakes danger awaits.

    Also, I think this means he is president for life.

    Tags: Barack Obama, John Roberts
  • Barack Obama and Joe Biden Unable to Get Out of Attending Court

    President-elect Barack Obama and Vice President-elect Joe Biden will be paying a visit to the Supreme Court today to thank them for intervening in the recent presidential election and ensuring that they were handed the White Hou–

    Oh, wait. Sorry. I got confused.

    They're just going there to talk about gays and abortions or some such shit…

    The court said [Chief Justice John] Roberts, who will administer the oath of office to Obama next Tuesday, invited the pair to meet with him and the associate justices in the ceremonial West Conference Room, and maybe take a tour of the place. Reporters and photographers are not invited…

    No doubt all will be cordial during the meeting, but there is a lot of background between the justices and the politicians. Historians have noted the interesting and unusual dynamic of the new president taking the oath of office from a man whose confirmation he opposed. Biden, of course, was a major player in the contentious confirmation hearings of Justice Clarence Thomas. And Obama and Biden both voted against Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr.

    Yeah, I'm sure that'll be awkward and all.

    But not nearly as awkward as when Joe Biden accidentally steps on the train of Chief Justice Roberts' robe while they're being shown around and then the robe rips in two and Roberts is left totally naked except for a pair of women's underwear and a bra that he was secretly wearing and then there's this Japanese tourist couple who're there for some reason and they take a picture of him and the wife says to the husband "Americans are even kinkier than the Germans!" in subtitles and then the husband replies, "We should have got into bed with them during World War II — the hangover would have been better at least" also in subtitles.

    That'll be more awkward.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Joe Biden, John Roberts, Samuel Alito, Supreme Court