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John Sununu
  • Hey, Stop Being Mad at John Sununu

    John SununuI sure would hate to be former New Hampshire governor John Sununu right now, and that's not just because I'd never know when to stop typing my own last name.

    Gov. Sununu's good-if-ongoing name is being dragged through the mud today (and it isn't even mud season in New Hampshire!), all because of a few remarks he made at a conservative fundraiser last night.

    As the Concord Monitor reports, Sununu claimed Team Obama won re-election because "They aggressively got out the base of their base, the base of their base that's dependent, to a great extent economically, on government policy and government programs."

    So everybody is SUPER INDIGNANT. But you know what? Sununu's absolutely right.

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    Tags: Barack Obama, John Sununu
  • John Sununu's "Snappy Answers to Unpleasant Questions"

    After watching this clip from MSNBC's Andrea Mitchell Reports earlier today…

    …it got me thinking about what a brilliant rhetorical strategy Romney surrogate John Sununu has struck upon. One that I think can really be used in all kinds of situations, in response to all manner of questions unpleasant questions asked. Here's just a few examples. I'm sure you'll be able to come up with more on your own…

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    Tags: Barack Obama, John Sununu, Mitt Romney, MSNBC
  • John Sununu and CNN Telecommunicate Between Alternate Realities

    Wow! All of CNN's envelope-pushing technological experiments — giant iPads, holograms, walk-through pie charts, Wolf Blitzer beard enhancements — seem to really be paying off. Looks like the cable channel's team of scientists have managed to figure out how to communicate through a combination of campaign talking points and quantum political spin live via satellite across different realities in the Multiverse! Amazing!

    Here, watch as CNN anchor Soledad O'Brien and Mitt Romney surrogate discuss Barack Obama's, Mitt Romney's and Paul Ryan's Medicare plans, as each person is dealing with two completely distinct and non-overlapping sets of facts!

    Wow! That is some mind-blowing stuff. My one criticism of O'Brien's interview is that she didn't ask Sununu what ice cream tastes like in his universe. I have this theory that it might taste like sardines. Just a hunch.

    Tags: Budget, CNN, John Sununu, Mitt Romney, Nerdiness, Paul Ryan, Soledad O'Brien
  • John Sununu Fights Baseless Allegation with Baseless Allegation

    Harry Reid's accusations about Mitt Romney's taxes — based upon the words of supposedly anonymous sources — are weird and a little gross. And since a team of Romney scientists was unable to come up with any way to somehow refute these claims, they were forced into getting their surrogates to go on television and call Reid names.

    The problem with this, however, is that… well, nobody gives a shit about Harry Reid. And people who nobody cares about don't make very good monsters with the public at large, no matter how much a group may try to push them as such. (See also: George Soros, Bill Ayers, Saul Alinsky and almost anybody ever mentioned by Newt Gingrich.)

    Not to worry! Republican guru John Sununu has a solution! And it doesn't undermine the basic premise of the GOP argument in the slightest

    "Look, Harry Reid is a bumbling Senate leader," the former New Hampshire governor said Monday on Fox News. "He hasn't been able to pass a budget, he hasn't been able to do anything about entitlement reform, he's done nothing worthwhile except the bidding of the Obama administration. They have pointed out that Harry is lying, and the public is beginning to understand that Harry is lying."

    "It's not Harry Reid, it's President Obama and the Obama campaign doing what they always do," he said. "The Obama campaign and President Obama are the ones that are behind this dishonesty and misrepresentation because they are trying to hide the failure of this abysmal presidency that we have had in office the last four years."

    We think it's wrong wrong wrong to claim a bunch of awful things about the opposing presidential candidate without offering any semblance of proof to back up your claims! Oh, and we think the opposing presidential candidate is behind these attacks.

    Why? No reason. Just a hunch.

    Tags: Harry Reid, John Sununu, Mitt Romney, Senate, Taxes
  • John Sununu Calls President Obama a Pot-Smoking, Un-American Hawaiian

    Yesterday Mitt Romney ad was pulled due to a copyright infringement claim. Who owns the songs of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers? Because they should sue both campaigns for extreme pettiness.

    In retaliation over recent comments made by the Obama campaign that Mitt Romney was either a felon or a liar, the Romney camps sent John Sununu, a man who once used a government limo to buy $5,000 worth of stamps (which sounds like a scene from the world's least imaginative Ferris Bueller sequel), to explain how the American system functions

    "[Obama] has no idea how the American system functions, and we shouldn’t be surprised about that, because he spent his early years in Hawaii smoking something, spent the next set of years in Indonesia, another set of years in Indonesia, and, frankly, when he came to the U.S. he worked as a community organizer, which is a socialized structure, and then got into politics in Chicago."

    Then he boarded a government jet to even-worse comment city, making this statement in a conference call with journalists

    "I wish this president would learn how to be an American."

    And that's coming from a guy who was born in Cuba. If he learned how to be an American over there, then Cuba truly has a great education system. When pressed further, he backtracked a bit saying he meant this comment only in reference to the "American formula for creating business."

    Can't wait until tomorrow when the Obama campaign sends one of it's surrogates to claim Mitt Romney is a time-traveling, younger version of Mr. Potter from It's a Wonderful Life.

    Photo by Darren McCollester/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: American, Barack Obama, John Sununu, Mitt Romney