Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a chicken is an apt metaphorical representation of cowardly Democratic lawmakers and the road crossing was the quickest route away from the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina.
While most liberals will be glad to bask in the warm rhetorical embrace of Barack Obama and other convention speakers, the problem lies with more conservative states. In places like West Virginia, which will not be sending its governor and other prominent Democrats to Charlotte, Democratic convention-goers are less popular than the attendees of ComicCon.
Among the politicians jumping off the S.S. Democrat are Claire McCaskill, who was a prime time speaker at the 2008 Convention, Heidi Heitkamp, a surprisingly competitive candidate for a North Dakota senate seat, and Jon Tester, the incumbent senator from Montana. The latter abandonment comes as no surprise, since Montana is the state that features a travelling outhouse/"Obama Presidential Library," a revelation stunning only in the discovery that Montana has libraries.
Nor are House candidates being encouraged to attend the festivities…
"If they want to win an election, they need to be in their districts," New York congressman Steve Israel, chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, told the Reuters Washington Summit on Tuesday.
Israel emphasized that Democratic President Barack Obama's poll ratings — which have hovered around 50 percent — have little to do with his stance.
"I don't care if the president was at 122 percent favorability right now," he said. "I think (candidates) should be in their districts," rather than spend time at the convention.
I'm sure there's no way these candidates' opponents will be able to tie them to Obama and national Democrats now! But just in case, maybe they could take some additional precautions.
In addition to staying away from this summer's most high-profile party gathering, they could avoid mentioning their party affiliation at all. Still, some voters could suspect that these candidates could be Democrats based on the things they say. So why not keep your mouth shut, or better yet, adopt Republican talking points? Then, they could change their registration to "Republican." That's clearly the path to Democratic electoral success!
Photo by Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Claire McCaskill, Democratic National Convention, Democrats, Jon Tester
As Jon Stewart pointed out on last night's Daily Show, one of the primary figures in the Goldman Sachs fraud case is named Fabrice Tourre and goes by the nickname "Fabulous Fab." You know, I don't think we're going to get any real substantial financial reform anytime soon; I'm not that naïve. But can we all at least agree to make some sort of edict that if a guy is named Fabrice and he works in the upper echelons of a financial juggernaut, his self-assigned nickname has to be "Prudent Fab" or "Level-Headed Fab" or at least "Slightly Above Average, But I Really Don't Like to Toot My Own Horn Fab"?
Stephen Colbert's take can be found below.
For quick summaries of recent episodes, be sure to visit Intel's Daily Show in :60 Seconds page.
Tags: Carl Levin, Claire McCaskill, Fabrice Tourre, Goldman Sachs, Jon Stewart, Jon Tester, Lloyd Blankfein, Senate, The Daily Show, Video
When Senator Jon Tester arrived in Washington after winning his Senate campaign in 2006, I read that he brought a cooler of his own meat from Montana. Since then I have spent many a sleepless night wondering if Tester had succeeded in finding a decent steak house in D.C.
Well, today, I had the opportunity to ask him.
Apparently he still brings his own beef because "he knows where it came from."
Now I'm a wussy, beltway insider vegetarian, but if Jon Tester offered me a steak, I think I'd have to eat it. Shaking his hand, I could tell that this was a man who truly knows his meat.
Tags: DNC, Food, Jon Tester, Montana