With the "war on women" in full effect, efforts to roll tax rates back to pre-1950s depths mounting, and a stiff vanilla billionaire presidential candidate with perfect Brylcreem hair taking the stage, conservatives seem to be stuck in something of a time warp. Has the right been taking its cues from Downton Abbey? This kind of sepia-toned thinking wouldn't appeal to young voters, right? Or would it?!
Think about it. Young men these days love to sport the handlebar mustaches their great great granddads used to wear. But why stop there?! Why not rock great great grandad’s political views, as well?! Republican attitudes and views are like something from a bygone era. And who’s into eras gone by? Answer: the kids — the hipster kids.
Chances are, your great great grandad probably had a mini-stroke at the thought of women getting the vote or the very notion of law to protect child laborers, but how about those snazzy-ass fedoras he used to wear? You trust his opinions on style. Why not trust his opinions on politics too?
Tags: Conservatives, Indecision Delegates, Jordan Carlos, Republicans
Tags: Indecision Delegates, Jared Logan, Jordan Carlos, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans
The 2012 Democratic National Convention — the most important post-primary, pre-Election Day event (for Democrats) of the election season — will be held on September 3 in Charlotte, North Carolina, and we, your Indecision delegates, will be there to cover it.
But why even go to the trouble? Everybody already knows that Obama is going to be the nominee, so why bother announcing it? Shouldn't Obama be working on other shit right now instead of having a big party in Charlotte?
Actually, there are so many other reasons to hold a Democratic National Convention besides announcing the nominee. Here are twelve…
1. Three words: Baldwin Brothers Reunion!
2. Noticing how gay rights activists and Obama passive-aggressively avoid making eye contact
3. Watching cops arrest protesters in suits and ties, instead of a bunch of nice hipster kids (for a change!)
Tags: Democratic National Convention, Democrats, Indecision Delegates, Jared Logan, Jordan Carlos, North Carolina
Republicans disagree with each other on a lot of things, but there's one thing they pretty much all agree on. They all admire a certain mythical, legendary hero of yore: Ronald Reagan.
So, they genuinely take to heart what has come to be known as Ronald Reagan's Eleventh Commandment, namely "Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican." But are you aware that Reagan had ten other commandments that they take equally to heart? Behold!
Thou shalt anoint a very small group of people as "true Americans." Anybody who does not agree with that group is a "fake American," and as such has to go sit at the nerd table with the guy who has acne and the fat girl that never talks.
Should a foreign nation behave in a way deemed uncooperative, do not just attack them. Thou shalt sell a shitload of weapons to their angry neighbor nation. This will never come back to haunt you.
Yield not at 'conservative'! Be regressive! Champion the gold standard, challenge heliocentrism and bid the young ones toil away in the salt mines!
Tags: Conservatives, Indecision Delegates, Jared Logan, Jordan Carlos, Republicans, Ronald Reagan
Tags: Ben Smith, BuzzFeed, Daniel Sieberg, Google, Indecision Delegates, Internet, Jared Logan, Jordan Carlos, Video