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Kansas
  • 9 Strange New Laws for 2013

    Gavel

    On January 1, 400 new federal laws took effect. Meanwhile, state legislatures passed 29,000 bills and resolutions, many of which came into force on the first of the year. Local government added thousands of new laws.

    Ignorance is no excuse, so start cramming on all the weird new regulations you have to follow as of Tuesday:

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    Tags: Alcohol, Animals, California, Children, Florida, Illinois, Kansas, North Carolina, Sex, State Legislature
  • From the Pork Barrel: Romney Landslide "Possible"

    * Examiner.com's Dean Chambers lays out a pretty convincing argument that a Mitt Romney landslide victory is "possible." Assuming Romney wins every state in which Obama is currently polling under 50.1, he'd clean up with 353 electoral votes to Obama's 185. Not even close!  However, I personally discovered that if every voter in every state that has an "e" in its name casts a write-in vote for former Hollywood Squares center square Paul Lynde, we might just be seeing out first dead gay president in November.

    * Kansas' birther Secretary of State Kris Kobach seems to be signaling that Barack Obama may be getting pulled off his state's ballot due to an insufficient number of birth certificates. Losing the 6 electoral votes provided by Kansas — where the President is only trailing Romney by 15% — could prove to be a devastating blow to his re-election math (which incidentally is, I think, illegal in Kansas).

    * Obama tried to sneak some pretty unsavory racial junk into a new Spanish language ad. I think maybe he forgot that some people do genuinely speak Spanish.

    * It may seem odd that, until today, nobody realized that former Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm was a "cute and curvaceous" guest on The Dating Game back in 1978. But you've got to take into account that almost nobody realized she was governor of Michigan from 2003 to 2011. She kinda just flies under the radar.

    * Download our free iPhone and iPad app Indecision Election Companion and jump up into the the Peanut Gallery — our liveblog/instant reaction arena — to watch and respond with us as Sen. John McCain discusses the ongoing turbulence in the Middle East on CBS's Face the Nation this Sunday morning.


    Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Jennifer Granholm, John McCain, Kansas, Michigan, Mitt Romney, Pork Barrel, Television
  • Thomas Jefferson Running for Congress in Kansas

    Rep. Mike Pompeo — a freshman incumbent in the safely-Republican 4th district of Kansas — is facing a challenge from Thomas Jefferson.

    A part-time stand-up comedian and  Libertarian candidate formerly known as Jack Talbert legally changed his name to Thomas Jefferson in an effort to boost his candidacy and garner attention for his Ron Paul-ish views, which include returning the U.S. to the gold standard and restraining the Federal Reserve…

    "When people see that Thomas Jefferson's on the ballot, half will think I'm committed to the Libertarian Party and the other half will probably think I should be committed," Jefferson said. "But whether you think it's crazy or not, hopefully it gets people thinking about the founding fathers and Thomas Jefferson in particular and whether we have that form of government still."

    And here I thought Black Metrosexual Abe Lincoln was the only historic figure active in current politics. At least Jefferson's wife seems approving of the name change, which suggests that the artist formerly known as Talbert has not taken historical veracity to its endpoint by banging the help.

    Should this novel campaign strategy turn into a trend, voters are likely to be confused by the proliferation of Jesus H. Reagans and Franklin D. Kennedys on their ballots, along with a bunch of Ron Paul-inspired candidates who rename themselves after the Founding Fathers. Which is somewhat redundant. Voters aren't going to think a candidate hates taxes and is uncomfortable with black people because his name is Thomas Jefferson. They'll think that because he's a libertarian.

    Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images


    Tags: Founding Fathers, House of Representatives, Kansas, Libertarian, Thomas Jefferson
  • Conservatives Find Another Tax They Can Love

    It was only a year ago Republicans discovered a tax they could get behind: the payroll tax, which falls primarily on lower- and middle- income Americans. Now, miracle of miracles, members of the Kansas House of Representatives have found another levy that doesn't offend Tea Party Jesus.

    Taking their cue from President Calvin Coolidge who famously didn't say, "The business of America is lady business," the Kansas House adopted by a vote of 88 to 31, a series of sweeping anti-abortion rights measures, including…

    * Levying a 6.3% sales tax on abortion procedures and any drugs used in abortions.

    * Banning employers from deducting any funds they contribute to a health plan for supplemental insurance coverage of an abortion.

    * Prohibiting patients from deducting money spent on an abortion or for supplemental health insurance to cover the procedure.

    *  Shielding physicians from lawsuits if they withhold critical health information from pregnant women that could cause them to decide to have an abortion.

    * Requiring doctors to  inform patients of the "link" between abortion and breast cancer.

    For now, the bill has stalled in the State Senate after concerns that several of the measure's provisions would jeopardize the accreditation he Kansas University Medical Center, which is the only provider of OB-GYN training in the state. Still, pro-life senators are eager to pull the bill out of committee before the end of the legislative term.

    It's odd: For people so concerned with promiscuity, they'll do anything — even raise taxes — to get inside some more vaginas.

    Photo by Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Abortion, Kansas, Republicans, State Legislature, Women's Rights
  • Stephen Colbert on the Liberal Sliming of Pink Slime

    "Our beef now has so many hormones, it's a member of the transgender community." — Stephen Colbert

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    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.


    Tags: Food, Iowa, Kansas, Liberals, Rick Perry, Sam Brownback, Stephen Colbert, Terry Branstad, Texas, The Colbert Report, Video