Thanks to CCInsider commentor Chad, we were pointed toward the comments of Ken Feinberg, the government-appointed administrator of the BP Deepwater Horizon Disaster Victim Compensation Fund. Besides having an insanely long title, Feinberg was broadcast over C-SPAN revealing the real perpetrator of the oil spill: nature.
You catch that?
"I think this is a natural spill, a natural disaster…"
You see what he did a second later, after realizing that he just made the incredibly silly mistake of confusing a natural disaster with BP's faulty blowout preventer failing to stop the oil explosion and thus leak over 300 million gallons of oil into our oceans? He corrected himself like so…
"…it's impact was a natural disaster."
So you see, he meant that it's impact was just a — wait — what? It's impact was a natural disaster? So he's saying that what happened after the initial explosion, the hundreds of millions of oil leaking into the ocean, that's the natural disaster? Because oil naturally flows out of holes in the ground? So, the real culprit here is the physics involved in the formation of oil beneath the Earth's crust. Not BP. What did they do, they just dug a hole.
I feel bad for Physics. Can you even imagine how bad its stocks are gonna take a hit after this news gets out?
Tags: BP, Energy & Oil, Kenneth Feinberg, Natural Disasters
…And that number is on your paycheck, and it's gonna make you cry like babies! Um, or not. This week Kenneth Feinberg, the president's pay czar/comp cop/earnings eagle put his foot down with new rules about executive compensation at bailed-out companies — well, for some people, at some companies, at least…
[T]he new measure may have more bark than bite, especially if the rules call for the executives' total compensation to fall by an average of 50 percent: the actual pay cuts for the top 25 earners at Citigroup and Bank of America could be skewed because their chief executives have already agreed to enormous reductions.
If their pay cuts are factored into the equation [...], that might give the affected companies more leeway to pay multimillion-dollar bonuses to the other 24 executives included.
And assuming the affected executives still work at these companies, which many of them do not…
At Bank of America, for instance, only 14 of the 25 highly paid executives remained by the time Feinberg announced his decision.
At American International Group, only 13 people of the top 25 were still on hand for Feinberg's decision.
On the bright side: Every minute Wall Street spends giggling at Ken Feinberg is a minute they're not developing a system for turning cat poop into tradable securities, so maybe some good will come from this after all.
Tags: Banks, Barack Obama, Economy, Kenneth Feinberg, Money, Wall Street