Things could be worse for Mitt Romney. He still has his health, family, home, other home, other other home, other other other home, cars (1-∞), and all the other spoils that come with face-melting wealth. He also probably has some good stories, like the one about that poor family in Sadsville, Indiana, who lost their home after the world's smallest violin factory shut down. That story will keep the Romney progeny warm for generations to come, or at least until that annoyingly slow class war finally gets going.
This election divided the country into two sides that pitted brother against brother and Facebook acquaintance against friend from high school. Some extreme Republicans are even talking about seceding. What we need is something to bring us together again. Something to show that we are all brothers and sisters, not just rich vs. poor, conservative vs. liberal, scared of minorities vs. annoyed with white people. If no one in this country can do it, we may have to go back to the motherland. For as it turns out, Obama's motherland is also Romney's motherland…
Tags: Barack Obama, Kenya, Mitt Romney
You know, it's no fluke that Herman Cain — whom most people never even heard of before he swept the Fox News base off its feet in the first GOP debate — is currently running second in the new Gallup poll (third if you count supposedly-touring-country-for-no-reason-whatsoever non-candidate Sarah Palin). The guy really knows how to speak to his audience in words that they feel right down in their American patriot souls.
Just look at how many dog whistle words and buzz fears he manages to squeeze into this one short paragraph from an interview with Jeffrey Goldberg…
"Barack Obama is more of an international [DING!]," Cain said. "I think he's out of the mainstream [DING!] and always has been. Look, he was raised in Kenya [DING! DING! DING!], his mother was white from Kansas and her family had an influence on him, it's true, but his dad was Kenyan [DING!], and when he was going to school [DING!] he got a lot of fellowships [DING!], scholarships [DING!], he stayed in the academic environment [DING!] for a long time. He spent most of his career as an intellectual. [DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!]"
A lot of people seem to be focusing on the overt untruth about Kenya, but I think the last accusation is the really damning. Being a foreigner is one thing. But reading books and learning stuff? That is simply unpardonable. Do you think he's reading books in the White House right now?! Oh no!
To be honest, I don't think Cain has a real shot at winning the nomination. But you know what? He's gonna make a fantastic replacement for Glenn Beck on Fox.
Photo by Steve Pope/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Barack Obama, Education, Herman Cain, Kenya, Polls, Primaries, Republicans
As Stephen points out here, the problem is not that Mike Huckabee is going around making a bunch of baseless, conspiracy-theory-esque, liberal-baiting comments on right-leaning media outlets. It's that he's not sharing fairly!
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.
Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Kenya, Mike Huckabee, Movies, Natalie Portman, Star Wars, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video
by Brian Kraker
Haven't we gotten over Obama and his absentee birth certificate? Apparently Mike Huckabee is building up his conspiracy theory arsenal for the 2012 election, claiming that President Obama grew up in Kenya.
Huckabee spoke on The Steve Malzberg Show and let this gem slip…
"One thing that I do know is his having grown up in Kenya, his view of the Brits, for example, very different than the average American," Huckabee said in response.
"If you think about it, his perspective as growing up in Kenya with a Kenyan father and grandfather, their view of the Mau Mau Revolution in Kenya is very different than ours because he probably grew up hearing that the British were a bunch of imperialists who persecuted his grandfather," Huckabee added.
Huckabee later retracted his statements, stating he misspoke and believes the President was born in Hawaii.
He fortunately was able to backstep before Obama was able to volley back his his own claim of Huckabee's birth place. If I were the president, I'd claim that Huckabee is from Mars, putting a serious dent in the theory of intelligent life on other planets.
Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Kenya, Mike Huckabee