Jon Stewart Is Not Thankful for the Congressional Recess

Congress is taking a break for Thanksgiving, and as Jon Stewart pointed out on last night's Daily Show, it's bad news for everyone. After all, without Congress in session, who will warn us that the terrorists are going to kill us all, who will offer detailed plans for killing us all to the terrorists, and, perhaps most importantly, who will make the founders perpetually spin in their graves? That's where they get electricity for heaven, you know?

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: House of Representatives, John Shadegg, Jon Stewart, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, Louie Gohmert, New York City, Terrorism, The Daily Show, Video

John Shadegg Is Afraid for Mike Bloomberg's Daughter

We've learned what Rudy Giuliani and the other Rudy Giuliani think about the upcoming trial of Khalid Shaikh Mohamed, but Rudy Giuliani isn't the mayor of New York any more. Mike Bloomberg is the mayor of New York, now and possibly forever, and he's said it's "fitting" for the 9/11 mastermind to face trial in the city (instead of in, say, a steel bunker on Mars).

So last night Rep. John Shadegg (R-AZ) had a couple questions for Hizzoner, including this one: "Mayor, how are you going to feel when it's your daughter that's kidnapped at school by a terrorist?"

Gotta admit, I don't understand where Shadegg's going with this.

I mean, if anybody can afford to pay a couple kidnap ransoms, it's Mike Bloomberg.

Tags: 9/11, John Shadegg, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, Michael Bloomberg, New York City, Terrorism

Jon Stewart Pits Rudy Giuliani Against Rudy Giuliani

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart covered the media brouhaha surrounding the upcoming trial of 9/11 mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, revealing Nancy Grace as the cause of boner cancer and counteracting the arguments of Rudy Giuliani with those of none other than Rudy Giuliani from 2006. Both Giulianis made such strong points, I think we need a third opinion. Maybe from 1997 cross-dressing Giuliani or 1999 paying-for-his-mistresses-security-detail-with-misappropriated-city-funds Giuliani.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: 9/11, Geraldo Rivera, Jon Stewart, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, Nancy Grace, Rudy Giuliani, Samantha Bee, The Daily Show, Video

Waterboarding as a Way of Life

Crazy information about things that our country was doing during the Bush regime continues to dribble out…

C.I.A. interrogators used waterboarding, the near-drowning technique that top Obama administration officials have described as illegal torture, 266 times…

266 times?! Jesus! They must have been waterboarding left and right. They must have been waterboarding tons of people, right?

…on two key prisoners from Al Qaeda, far more than had been previously reported.

Two people?! What the hell. That seems like overkill. I guess that means each one must have be been waterboarded around 133 times each…

The C.I.A. officers used waterboarding at least 83 times in August 2002 against Abu Zubaydah, according to a 2005 Justice Department legal memorandum. Abu Zubaydah has been described as a Qaeda operative.

That's not an even split. That would leave a whole lot more than half for the other guy…

The 2005 memo also says that the C.I.A. used waterboarding 183 times in March 2003 against…

Who?! Who could they have possibly had in their custody who would deserve to be waterboarded 183 times?! In a single month?!

…Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the self-described planner of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

Oh, well… I am very angry in theory. Theoretically, I am most perturbed that our country would do such a thing. Wrong. Just very, very wrong.

However…

We're all in agreement that the United States should not be waterboarding prisoners 183 times in a one month, right? But, let's say — just hypothetically speaking — that we had to do it to somebody. Like, for some strange, crazy reason.

If that were the case… I guess that guy would be the one to do it to, right?

But, seriously, terrible.

Oh, and fuck that guy.

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Tags: al Qaeda, CIA, George W. Bush, Iraq, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, Torture