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Friday's Links: A Pun Contest To Put You in Missouri
* Winner of the O. Henry Pun-Off: Jerzy Gwiazdowski.
* Team Coco vs. Team Kim Jong-Un.
* The most awkward elevator ride in the history of Congress?
* Nathan For You catches a vandal and makes a PSA out of him.
* They don't make filibusters like they used to, do they Strom Thurmond?
* Cracked says space travel sucks because we don't belong there or some nonsense.
* Baby Geniuses podcast talks to Guy Branam about the amazing Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
* If the U.S.S. Monitor had let the Union's blockade fall, we'd all be speaking Confederacy now.
Tags: Civil War, Conan O'Brien, Daily Links, Dennis Rodman, John McCain, Kim Jong-un, Rand Paul, Ruth Bader Ginsburg -
Dammit, Dennis Rodman, We Trusted You
We gave you one job, Dennis Rodman, ONE job. And by "we," I mean you gave yourself the task of traipsing off to North Korea to party with Kim Jong-un. And this is the best you could do?North Korea threatened on Tuesday to scrap an armistice that ended the 1950-53 civil war and sever a military "hotline" with the United States if South Korea and Washington pressed on with two-month-long war games.
This is going to put a crimp in our plans to send Ron Artest to Iran and make Jose Canseco our diplomatic envoy to Venezuela. Nevertheless, there's at least one American who sees the next Richard Holbrooke in The Worm…
"It's probably better than what we have," [Donald] Trump told Fox News. "If you look at the world, the world is blowing up around us. Maybe Dennis is better than what we have."
This has got to chill Rodman to the core. He can go to North Korea, break bread — possibly the country's only bread! — with one of the world's worst dictators, and he's still not America's biggest attention whore.
Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Tags: Dennis Rodman, Donald Trump, Kim Jong-un, North Korea -
Thursday's Links: Cycling's New Star
* Cycling goes back to its unadulterated state, from Funny or Die.
* If only more Nazis had done yoga.
* The New Yorker profiles John Kerry.
* Hey North Korea, don't get your panties in a wad.
* John Hodgman gives some sage advice to writers.
* Andrew Sullivan wants to correct the myth of Stonewall.
* Chris Gethard and Bobby Moynihan write "Alf Kills Hitler."
* The middle manager's sacred oath, from McSweeney's.
* Laughspin's newest podcast discusses Chris Rock, Stephen Colbert and more.
* These gifs explain what President Obama looked back to see at his inauguration.
Tags: Adolf Hitler, Andrew Sullivan, Barack Obama, Daily Links, Funny or Die, Horatio Sanz, John Hodgman, John Kerry, Kim Jong-un, Lance Armstrong, LGBT, Nazis, North Korea, Sports, Stonewall, The New YorkerOur Endorsements: Baby Congress Argues the Fiscal Cliff
* Da fwiscaw cwiff is soooooooo cute.
* North Korea gets the news wrong again.
* While The Onion, as usual, gets it right again.
* For those of you who don't have snow or any music ability.
* And so this is no longer Christmas, and what have we done?
* Makes you want to invite drunk Boris Yeltsin over for holiday dinner.
* Did you know Christopher Nolan is directing Obama's presidency too?
* The most fascinating discoveries of evolution this year. No, really. We've evolved.
* Finally, a gift for the person who has everything (I'm assuming you hate them, too).
Tags: Daily Links, Fiscal Cliff, House of Representatives, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, The Onion, Time Magazine, War on ChristmasBarack Obama Re-Elected Time's Person of the Year
Time Magazine just unveiled its 2012 Person of the Year/Person Most Likely to Improve Magazine Sales — and it's an actual person! In fact, it's President Barack Obama, who joins 12 others who have been honored twice.The feature story explained that Obama's November re-election gave Time no choice but to grant the president America's most snarked-about honor…
The Obama effect was not ephemeral anymore, no longer reducible to what had once been mocked as "that hopey-changey stuff." It could be measured — in wars stopped and started; industries saved, restructured or reregulated; tax cuts extended; debt levels inflated; terrorists killed; the health-insurance system reimagined; and gay service members who could walk in uniform with their partners…America debated and decided this year: history would not record Obama's presidency as a fluke.
America may have "debated and decided," but Obama's not the only guy who can win an election. In a separate Time web-poll, the people's choice for Person of the Year went to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un.
In other news, turns out there's still a Time Magazine.
Photo by Kristoffer Tripplaar-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Barack Obama, Kim Jong-un, Time Magazine