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Kosovo
  • New Old News: Kosovo Steps Out

    Good news, Kosovo! The UN World Court just ruled that you're a real country now!

    Remember how you were in 1999 — all bombed out and needy? Remember that?

    You've come a long way, buddy.

    Now please please please stop letting Chechnya and East Timor borrow your car. Those guys are just going to drag you back into that old breakaway region spiral. At least make them throw down some collateral. An agriculture ministry, or a mountain or something.



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    Tags: Jon Stewart, Kosovo, New Old News, The Daily Show, Video
  • Indecision Internationale: Way to Spangle Your Banner, Kosovo!

    On Sunday millions of ethnic Albanians declared February 17 a chillier, less bbq-friendly version of the Fourth of July as the disputed province of Kosovo announced its independence from Serbia. Kosovo, which has been described as "war-torn" since, oh, the Ottoman Empire or thereabouts, celebrated its admission to the wonderful world of independent democracy with beer, cake, a chic yellow-starred flag and the eloquent news headline "Fuck U." (Freedom of the press! Aww, they're learning already.)

    Of course Serbia and Russia had to be downers, telling the United Nations to get in there and de-independentify things asap. But President Bush led the rest of the world in congratulating the new nation, writing an official letter of recognition to President Fatmir Sejdiu…

    In your request to establish diplomatic relations with the United States, you expressed Kosovo's desire to attain the highest standards of democracy and freedom. I fully welcome this sentiment. In particular, I support your embrace of multi-ethnicity as a principle of good governance and your commitment to developing accountable institutions in which all citizens are equal under the law.

    So have fun with that, Kosovars. If you need us, we'll just be over here building fences along our borders and making sure the gays don't get married.


    Tags: Indecision Internationale, Kosovo, Serbia