Stephen Colbert Shows President Obama How to Get Angry at BP

When will politicians learn that you can't be angry and wear fancy pants at the same time. Sen. Finneus "The Gilded Hammer" Fontlebleu tried that schtick back in the '40s, and it was a complete disaster, I do say…

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: Barack Obama, BP, Energy & Oil, Fox, Gulf Coast, Larry King, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Tony Hayward, Video

Barack Obama Quite Obviously "Furious" Over Having to Act "Furious" on Television

If this is President Obama when he's "furious," I'd hate to see him when he's "mildly annoyed that he has to reprimand big corporations that gave him oil tankers full of campaign money." Yikes! Get me out of that room!

Tags: Barack Obama, BP, CNN, Energy & Oil, Gulf Coast, Larry King

Jon Stewart on CNN's Hiring of Erick Erickson

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart discussed the latest blunders by CNN, the paint-chip-eating-est news network on TV. I won't say CNN is completely retarded, but I will say I'm considering taking it on a road-trip to count cards in Vegas, where CNN will unwittingly teach me a valuable lesson about life and love.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: CNN, Erick Erickson, Jon Stewart, Larry King, Red State, The Daily Show, Video

Carrie Prejean Found to Not Be a Child Pornographer

If you've got a working Internet connection, then by now you've almost certainly heard the news that Carrie Prejean — defrocked Miss California and advocate for anti-gay prejudice — is an asshole.

But, did you know that she is also an asshole?

Carrie Prejean has been a hot topic this week after it was revealed that she made multiple sex tapes for her ex-boyfriend. Now we are hearing from the ex-boyfriend and the plot thickens. He says she was 20-years-old when she recorded the sexually graphic cellphone videos and sent them to him for his reaction…

After the sex tape scandal broke, it didn't take Prejean long to call the ex-boyfriend. He said that she was furious and asked him to lie and say that she was 17-years-old at the time they were created.

Ugh! What is wrong with this stopwatch? It's been stuck at 14 minutes for too long now. Get to 15! Get to 15 already!

Tags: California, Carrie Prejean, CNN, Larry King, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Sex

President John McCain Has Some Advice for That Guy Barack Obama

America, what were you thinking? You elected and inaugurated this Barack Obama person, while your real president, John McCain, is sitting right here with the answers to your problems.

Seriously, all the answers…

President [Ed. note: "President"] Obama is facing great challenges as he takes office and may have made a hasty decision to close Guantanamo Bay without addressing all of the repercussions, Sen. [Ed. note: President] John McCain told CNN's Larry King Thursday night.

McCain said instead of closing Guantanamo Bay outright, he would have first continued the military commissions, which "after years of delay and obfuscation" were finally moving toward trials.

"So, the easy part, in all due respect, is to say we're going to close Guantanamo," McCain said.

It is easy to say! He just said it. Any fool can say it. Barack Obama, who let him into the White House again?

McCain also expressed concerns over President Obama's proposed stimulus package, saying from where he stands, it "is more of a spending package than a stimulus package."

"I hope we can work together to, frankly, be a real stimulus package and not just a spending package that has every cat and dog and pet project that people have," he said. "Because the object of a stimulus package is to stimulate the economy, not to just spend more and run up the debt to our kids and our grandkids."

As if Barack Obama knows that!

All I can say is, thank goodness President McCain is standing by with Vice President Larry King at the CNN executive offices, to help guide this bizarre shadow government's policymaking.

Tags: Barack Obama, CNN, Guantanamo Bay, John McCain, Larry King