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Laura Bush
  • LiveBlog: The Inauguration of That One Guy Everyone's Always Talking About

    12:40 – Well, that's the ceremony. Now, there is just the parade to be endured.

    12:39 – Damn! I was hoping for sea shantiers!

    12:38 – Sea chanters?!

    12:36 – From the comments: "Bush to Obama after speech: 'Hey, did you understand anything that guy up there just talked about?'" – JC

    12:34 - At the rate he's reading, we all might die mid-prayer. – Matthew Tobey

    12:33 – I hope this guy doesn't die mid-prayer.

    12:32 – Another reverend? Where's the imam? where's the rabbi? Where's the witchdoctor? I feel left out.

    12:31 – This po – em su – cks.

    12:30 – What about the separation of poetry and state? – Mary Phillips-Sandy

    12:28 – I think I rejected this poem back when I was editing my old online lit-zine.

    12:27 - This – lady – enunci – ates – clear – ly. – Mary Phillips-Sandy

    12:26 - Well, that was a pretty nice speech. It's really weird to be aware of yourself watching history unfold. It feels a little like huffing spray paint.

    12:25 - Doris Kearns Goodwin just got the vapors. – Karen Lurie

    12:24 - From the comments: "I keep expecting the camera to catch Bush hastily thumbing through a dictionary to follow Obama's speech." – Paul

    12:23 – From the comments: "Obama just mentioned, 'The Force.' A Jedi is he hmmmph!" – Cube

    12:21 – Is Obama the first president to actually acknowledge that some people might not believe in a sky god, hallowed be its name?

    12:20 – "Nonbelievers." God bless him. – Matthew Tobey

    12:18 – They sure didn't waste any time updating

    12:16 – Wow! What an amazing day for America! We actually have a Muslim atheist communist foreign-born president with a fake birth certificate.

    We've come a long way, baby!

    12:14 – He just said "science"! And he didn't say it with a sneer! Oh my god, is that guy really my president now?

    12:13 – Any time my excitement about this moment flags, I just think about how much all of this cuts into the souls of people like Michelle Malkin.

    12:10 – There are about twenty million Americans puzzled as to why Obama is not raising the roof right now. – Dustin Chinn

    12:08 – From the comments: "I can't decide whether I'm supposed to make popcorn or genuflect." – Katie D.

    12:07 – Shit! That canon is shooting at Obama! Stop that thing!

    12:06 – It's over! Barack Obama is our president! George W. Bush no longer.

    12:05 – Holy shit, this is actually happening. Obama is being sworn in for real right now!

    12:04 – So is Joe Biden Bush's VP until Obama is sworn in? – Matthew Tobey

    12:03 - Here's a 2%er: Yo Yo Ma playing is probably giving Josh Lyman flashbacks to when he got shot. – Matthew Tobey

    (Apparently, that's a West Wing joke. I didn't get it, because I refuse to watch a show that supposes an Irish president.)

    12:02 – Is that Yo Yo Ma playing with Itzhak Perlman? Too much diversity! Too much diversity!

    12:00 – How'd that fiddler get down off his roof? Get back up on the roof, fiddler!

    11:58 – Did you feel a disturbance in the force? Dick Cheney is no longer vice president. He's just some mean old Mr. Potter-looking guy.

    11:57 - Joe Biden is getting sworn in. He looks like he's been blinded in some kind of bar fight, though.

    11:53 - Now THAT is a church hat Aretha's wearing. – Dustin Chinn

    11:52 – This invocation is mighty Christiany, isn't it? What about the rest of the country?

    11:51 - Sasha does not have five syllables, Rick Warren. Matthew Tobey

    11:51 – I wonder how many hardcore Evangelicals are spitting at their TVs right now.

    11:50 – Funny. They didn't "forget" to televise Warren's prayer.

    11:49 - From the comments: "A purpose driven Warren looks like he needs a purpose driven diet." – banana

    11:48 – Rick Warren just told me that everything exists for God's glory. I wish somebody would have told me that before. I would have taken better care of my old Millenium Falcon toy.

    11:46 - Dianne Feinstein looks like she buys her hair from the same place as Rod Blagojevich.

    11:44 - From the comments: "The crowd boos Bush and sings "Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye." Is everyone in the Mall from Philly?" – Cube

    11:43 – Jesus H. Christ, it's Barack H. Obama!

    11:41 – Holy god, that's a lot of people crammed in there! I wonder who's the guy in the way back.

    11:40 – Wow! That's a whole lot of people applauding for Joe Biden. Seems unnatural.

    11:39 – Wonder if Michelle Obama's discovered the treasure map hidden in the Lincoln Bible. – Dustin Chinn

    11:37 – What the hell is that thing on George Bush Sr.'s head? Shouldn't the Secret Service be taking care of that problem?

    11:34 - From the comments: "Like I told my wife, while I have never known a world with a black President, our daughter will never remember a world without one." – Bearness

    That's a pretty cool thought.

    11:33 - As of right now, George Bush is still president. Soak it up now while you can.

    11:30 - The crowd is chanting, "Obama! Obama! Obama!" Yes, I believe they are ready to do his bidding.

    11:25 – Okay, so I'm finally set up. Sorry I'm so late. My morning ablutions toward the White House took longer than I'd expected. But I'm here now.

    So, uh, what's going on here? Some kind of ceremony or something?

    Tags: Barack Obama, Barbara Bush, Bill Clinton, Christianity, Constitution, Dianne Feinstein, Dick Cheney, George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, House of Representatives, Inauguration, Jenna Bush, Jill Biden, Jimmy Carter, Joe Biden, Laura Bush, Malia Obama, Michelle Obama, Rick Warren, Sasha Obama, Senate, Supreme Court, Washington DC
  • George Bush, Already Gone in Mind If Not Body

    You think you're happy that there's now officially less than 24 hours left in the Bush presidency? There's at least one guy who's way, waaaaaay happier: George Bush.

    He's so happy to move out of the White House, he's practically already moved out of the White House

    [T]he Bushes have moved almost all their things out of the White House ahead of schedule.

    "There won't be … the moving trucks for the Bushes coming here," McBride said, adding, "the only things really left for President and Mrs. Bush are their personal belongings and luggage that they'll take that day."

    McBride said Mrs. Bush directed residence staff early – in the summer of 2008 – to prepare the White House for the personal transition.

    Must be exciting for President Bush to relinquish his position and move on to other endeavors to which he can get a fresh start on laying waste.

    Hey, if you're good at something…

    Tags: George W. Bush, Inauguration, Laura Bush, White House
  • George Bush Will Be Greeted as a Caffeinator

    President-for-now George W. Bush and First Lady-for-now Laura Bush just stepped off of Marine One (what they call that presidential helicopter-thing) for the very last time, after returning from Camp David.

    The guy on MSNBC noted that Bush seems like he just can't wait to duck behind history's cover and just live life like an ordinary, everyday multi-millionaire, and brought up this bit from his last press conference…

    Asked how he would spend his retirement, he said the day after the inauguration he would get up and make a cup of coffee for Laura at their ranch in Crawford, Texas. He admitted he would find it difficult…

    Yeah. Making and serving coffee is tough, man! I'd be nervous if I were him. God knows what kind of intractable kitchen endeavors he's liable to get the two of them into.

    Tags: George W. Bush, Inauguration, Laura Bush
  • Michelle Obama Dresses Better Than You: The Pre-Inauguration Edition

    by Michael Arceneaux

    We finally have a First Lady with a sense of style that doesn't warrant an automatic bitch slap from Joan Rivers. We couldn't help but get a little bored with the styles of Hillary Clinton and Laura Bush. Dressing up like a librarian is only fun when it's prefixed by the word "naughty," and, eh, a pantsuit gets a little old after the 400th one, right?

    Oh Michelle, thank you so much for wearing colors, showing your curves — for simply dressing in a way that doesn't suggest you lose your taste with age. I mean even the cast of The Golden Girls had style, for god's sake.

    As we inch closer and closer to the dawn of Lady O, we've rehashed some of the fashion maven's best and worst looks from the campaign season in eager anticipation. Two snaps if you feel it.

    Watching The View can sometimes be as nausea-inducing as the thought of a Star Jones and Al Reynolds sex tape. But when Michelle appeared in this black and white number designed by Donna Ricco, for once I was able to look at the show and not want to hit myself in the face with the remote. The dress only cost $148 to boot. You couldn't even look at Sarah Palin directly in the eye for $148 during her campaign-sponsored shopping spree.

    Let this picture serve as proof that no one has to hate themselves enough to wear mom jeans…not even moms.

    Not many women can wear a dress that looks like it was inspired by their nana's wallpaper and make it work. Phenomenal women is she.

    Jill Biden is dressed like the traditional political wife — which makes it much easier to focus on Michelle's purple flowery dressy thing. Yes, purple flowery dressy thing is the best way to describe this.

    We'll never know if she's laughing at her husband's joke or Cindy McCain's dress, but Michelle looked fierce* at the second presidential debate.

    That's right, Sarah Palin. You're not the only one with a fashion budget. Take that, moose killer!

    So, it's not so much that it's ugly as it is the belief that dresses shouldn't look like Lava Lamps. OK, so maybe it is that it's ugly, but it's only worth hissing at for a few minutes. One can't always be a fashion do, can they?

    Laura Bush found herself served when the incoming First Lady joined her husband on a trip to check out their new digs. Out with the old, in with the new. And the new is looking pretty freaking svelte.

    America, everything's gonna be a-ok!

    * Thank you, Tyra Banks, for drilling that word into everyone's head.

    Tags: Fashion, Jill Biden, Laura Bush, Michelle Obama, The View
  • Laura Bush's Memoir to Be Almost as Exciting as You're Expecting

    Earlier today, Mary got us all excited about the current/soon-to-be-ex First Lady's upcoming memoir.

    What are her thoughts on the Bush Doctrine? Does she know what the Bush Doctrine is? Will it be as thought-provoking as Ted, White and Blue: The Nugent Manifesto? How much cilantro does she really put in her Chilled Avocado Soup?

    Well, since Ms. Bush and her publisher aren't really being too forthright on what we can expect from her much-anticipated memoir, why don't we check with her not-publishers

    The reception to Mrs. Bush's pitch has been mixed so far. "She was not forthcoming about anything that I would consider controversial," the publisher who met with her said. "We questioned her rigorously, but it was one-word answers. I considered it the worst, or the most frustrating, meeting of its sort that I've ever had." He added, "But she really couldn't have been nicer." He said that his company would not be making an offer on the book, which was expected to sell for a couple of million dollars…

    Another publishing executive said that some of the editors who met Mrs. Bush were hoping to find "that she's a closet Democrat, like in the Curtis Sittenfeld novel." (Sittenfeld's novel "American Wife," which was purported to be inspired by Mrs. Bush's life, portrayed the First Lady as passionately pro-choice and periodically agonizing over her husband's hawkishness.) When the publisher who went to the White House was asked what impression of Mrs. Bush's politics he came away with, he sighed and said, "You got the sense she's just like him."

    Hey! That's no way to talk about a First Lady!

    Even Curtis Sittenfeld, who spent months researching Mrs. Bush's life story, is conflicted about the hypothetical memoir. "Do you remember after Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston separated…"

    No. But, I'm listening…

    "…it was more interesting to wonder what Aniston thought than to find out what she thinks?" Sittenfeld said over the phone last week. "Sometimes when people share their thoughts it's sort of disappointing."

    I can't wait for this book-like thing to come out! I'm soooo looking forward to reading a 200-300 word synopsis of it in somebody's review that I skim through.

    That is the stuff of magic.

    Tags: Books, George W. Bush, Laura Bush