Latest Posts

Laura Bush
  • Michelle Obama Better Not Terrorize America With Any Polyester Blends

    If cranky Germaine Greer is to believed, the only blemish on the otherwise perfect night of November 4 was Michelle Obama's dress, because its lethal design could have killed everyone in Grant Park. It's a miracle those cheering throngs escaped with their lives…

    One blogger complained that she could hardly listen to Obama's speech "for fear of that dress"….

    The juxtaposition of a rectangle of red on a black field is what we might expect to find on a flag or a shield. Coral snakes and venomous spiders signal their destructive potential by the display of similarly violent contrasts.

    For some reason we are still letting this deadly woman and her family move into the White House, so now Michelle Obama must redeem herself and her country, with nothing more than the clothes on her back. The pressure is high

    By making some off-the-radar choices, Obama already greatly reduces her risk of making the same faux pas as [Laura] Bush did at a 2006 Kennedy Center Honors event when she wore the same red de la Renta gown as three other women.

    The pain of that night (12/3, never forget) is seared in the collective memory of our nation.

    But as another fashion nabob points out, even a First Lady can't spend every day in formalwear…

    [Consultant Ruth] Sherman also wonders what will happen to Obama's sometimes-sportier look, one that likely resonates with the younger people who so strongly support her and her husband.

    "If the Obamas are being considered the next generations of leaders, will the Obamas reflect that this generation is so much more casual? What does it mean when you see Michelle Obama in jeans?"

    It means she has sold Texas to the Iranians.

    Tags: Laura Bush, Michelle Obama
  • Laura Bush's Forthcoming Memoir to Confirm Existence of Thoughts, Opinions, Inner Life

    First Lady Laura Bush will be taking time off from her busy schedule doing the things she does to write her hotly-anticipated memoir.

    "Laura is interviewing publishers who are bidding on her memoirs," one biographer told Page Six. "The publishers are coming to the White House to meet with her and discuss the book."

    Call me sentimental, but I'm a sucker for a big nostalgia play like this! Who can forget that classic Laura Bush moment? Or the other classic Laura Bush moment. Remember what she said? That was priceless.

    I bet there's even enough Laura Bush material to bleed into a George Bush memoir…

    Those same literary poobahs see George W. Bush as literary poison for now. "Dubya is going to have to wait about five years," a top publishing insider said. "He's so unpopular at this point that there's no market for any book by him. "

    Not only that, but he can't even write a book! 'Cause he doesn't know how to write! He can't even write as well as Monica Lewinsky gives blow jobs (not so great, apparently!) Oh snap! Who said Barack Obama killed comedy?

    Literary superagent Mort Janklow told us: "The wives of presidents generally write books that have a greater public interest. Wives usually write from a personal point of view – instead of talking about government policy, they talk about when the dog came to the White House and had to be paper-trained. Husbands usually try to rewrite history."

    I, for one, am looking forward to a complete laying bare of the Bushes' pet care decisions. I don't know how the public will react if Laura's memoir contradicts any of the key assertions in Bob Woodward's "Barney at Poop" series.

    (Via Huffington Post)

    Tags: George W. Bush, Laura Bush
  • Barack Obama Finally Gets to Measure the Drapes

    Welp, this afternoon, the Obama's visited their soon-to-be home, currently occupied by a pleasant white couple who are being evicted by the state in just a few months, with whom they met and apparently did not come to blows.

    This is an historic moment for America, and The New York Times has all the most relevant and newsworthy details from the meeting…

    President-elect Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, received a warm welcome at the White House shortly before 2 p.m. Eastern time by the current occupant, President George W. Bush, a man with whom he expressed a sea of differences during the just-ended election campaign…

    The two men were dressed almost identically in dark blue suits, white shirts and blue ties. Ms. Bush wore a brown suit, and Ms. Obama a burnt-orange dress.

    See that? The two couples aren't that different after all. They both wear clothes, and neither of them favor novelty hats.

    But lets get down to the really important facts…

    A few minutes after the couples entered the White House together, Mr. Bush and Mr. Obama reemerged and strolled along the colonnade past the Rose Garden to the outer entrance to the Oval Office. Mr. Obama walked just at Mr. Bush's shoulder and appeared to be speaking animatedly, gesturing with both hands. Each of the men waved several times to reporters and others off camera.

    I hope that clears up the internet rumors that Bush would be carrying the president-elect around on his back, like a horsey.

    Anything else of substance, NYT?

    Mr. Obama saw the Oval Office in person for the first time, just 10 weeks before he will make history by returning as its first black occupant. A physical reminder of the coming change was provided by construction equipment gathered in Lafayette Park across Pennsylvania Avenue from the north side of the White House.

    See that, America? There's the change you've been promised. Nothing says "change" like construction equipment.

    That's the exact same kind of change that I've been experiencing every fucking morning starting at 7 am in my Queens neighborhood.

    Somehow, I was hoping change would be less jackhammery.

    Tags: Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Laura Bush, Michelle Obama, Washington DC, White House
  • Sarah Palin Finally Loses the Lady Vote

    How can you expect any lady to vote for you when the First Lady (literally, the number one lady!) doesn't think you're a very qualified lady.

    First lady Laura Bush says Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin lacks sufficient foreign policy experience but is a very quick study.

    In an interview Wednesday with CNN, the first lady remarked that it's fortunate that Republican presidential nominee John McCain has foreign policy experience himself.

    It's a good thing that Gov. Palin's duties will be restricted to lady activities, like decorating the White House Christmas tree and breaking tie votes in the senate.

    Tags: John McCain, Laura Bush, Sarah Palin
  • Highlights From The First Day of the RNC

    Yesterday was a tough day to be a Republican delegate. Festooned in cowboy hats, they arrived in St. Paul, having waited 4 long years to bask in the glow of the national media. And almost instantly, they were upstaged by a low-pressure weather system named Gustav and a teenage girl named Bristol. It must have been like having your birthday fall on Christmas.

    So what did happen yesterday? Very little, but here are the highlights:

    • A speech on hurricane relief was delivered by Laura Bush and Cindy McCain– the latter looking like a cross between Dick Tracey and a comic book villain.

    • The Connecticut delegation to the convention was attacked by protesters who most likely assumed Joe Lieberman was in their party.

    • The sun set at 7:49pm local time.

    Tonight promises to be more of the same– which is coincidentally the highly unauthorized slogan of the McCain campaign.

    Tags: Cindy McCain, John McCain, Laura Bush, Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota, RNC, St. Paul