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Laura Richardson
  • Scandal Check-In


    Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

    In recent weeks, Congressional Confidential has profiled a number of politicians whose careers have gone down like a five-figure whore on Eliot Spitzer (D-NY). The time has now come to check back in on them, and possibly roll them onto their stomachs to prevent asphyxiation. Here's how the past month's scandals have been unfolding:

    Rep. Vito Fossella (R-NY) — When we last heard from Fossella, he was breaking breathalyzer equipment with a 0.13 reading at a DC-area traffic stop. This, along with the discovery of his shadow family in Arlington, Virginia, prompted the five-term Congressman to cancel his re-election bid. But now word has surfaced that Fossella is employing the same private dicks that snooped for O.J. Simpson to defend him in his DWI case. The gumshoes, who have also worked for John Gotti and Patty Hearst, have recently been spotted "refreshing the memories" of employees at Logan's Tavern, the Washington bar that ejected Fossella hours before his arrest. When told by Fossella that they also had permission to break kneecaps, the investigators declined, reminding the Congressman that he was the one named Vito.

    Rep. Laura Richardson (D-CA) — Richardson made headlines last month when her third home was foreclosed by Washington Mutual and sold at auction. But in the wake of that scandal, word surfaced that the Congresswoman, who apparently receives accounting advice from Willie Nelson, once abandoned her BMW at a Long Beach auto garage rather than pay $735 to have it repaired. Richardson, a Long Beach City Councilwoman at the time, then began using a city-owned vehicle, put 31,000 miles on it in a year, and only surrendered it five days after she left office. While this is embarrassing news for a member of Congress, we hope that Richardson realizes that if she became a military contractor, she could be getting paid for this kind of thing.

    Gov. Jim Gibbons (R-NV) — Gibbons, of course, is America's favorite homeless Governor, whose wife ejected him from the Nevada Governor's Mansion following allegations of an affair. Since we last reported, details have been trickling out of Carson City, and we can now confirm that the Governor did in fact exchange 867 text messages in six weeks with the wife of a Reno podiatrist on a state-issued cell phone. Ninety-one of these messages occurred in one two-hour block between the hours of midnight and 2am — which we assume was Gibbons's attempt to save the taxpayers money by texting at "off peak" hours. Still, even we Pages must admit that "dirty texting" is just about the most pathetic way to engage in a sex scandal. Just ask legendary Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL), who would argue that instant messaging is a far more erotic way to end one's career.

    Tags: Congressional Confidential, Jim Gibbons, Laura Richardson, Vito Fossella
  • Yo Homes, Smell You Later


    Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

    This Week's Politician In Trouble! The Pages are hopping mad at the predatory home mortgage industry, which continues to profit from exploiting the most naive and ignorant segment of our society: Members of Congress.

    We're of course referring to the tragic case of Rep. Laura Richardson (D-CA), whose third home was taken away by The Repo Men earlier this month. According to the Torrance, CA Daily Breeze (motto: "Ending Geraldine Ferraro's Career Since 2008"), the meanies at Washington Mutual foreclosed on Richardson's Sacramento home after the Congresswoman defaulted on her $535,000 loan.

    The Breeze notes that Richardson also neglected to pay property tax, made a real estate agent cry, left behind a garage "full of trash to the ceiling."

    But we say all this could have been avoided if Richardson's fellow homeowners had just done the neighborly thing and funneled cash to her political campaign. They even could have taken a cue from Greenpeace and fed the Congresswoman smoothies, but apparently some people just don't have manners these days.

    The next step for Richardson likely involves moving into one of her two other homes in California, although she's apparently defaulted on her loan payments for those, too.

    Well, if things get really messy, the Congresswoman could always ask fellow politicians Dick Durbin, Chuck Schumer, Bill Delahunt, and George Miller if she could crash on the couch of their Washington apartment! They have an awesome deck and the Nintendo Wii, and they're apparently scoring free wi-fi from the neighbors. And all Richardson would have to do is pay 1/5 of the utilities and walk the pit bull when the menfolk are out with lobbyists. We say, take it!

    Tags: Chuck Schumer, Congressional Confidential, Dick Durbin, George Miller, Geraldine Ferraro, Laura Richardson