Things Linda McMahon Can Do With $100 Million

Things Linda McMahon Can Do With $100 Million

1. Print thousands of sample Obama-McMahon ballots in which she lists herself as an independent rather than a Republican.

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Tags: Connecticut, Linda McMahon, Money

Linda McMahon to Execute Flawless Suplex on Connecticut

Former wrestling executive (this is an actual job) Linda McMahon, 62, is trying to fill the small, weird shoes of one Senator Joe Lieberman in 2012. And while she refused donations and spent $50 million of her own American dollars on her last campaign, she wants you to know that you may send her your own monies this time around.

Let's learn more about this brave innovator who paved the way for humans to earn an income by smashing folding chairs across other humans' skulls…

A co-founder with her husband, Vince McMahon, of World Wrestling Entertainment, she drew on her biography of having started a business that now employs hundreds of people and is publicly traded.

And she recounted past struggles with financial adversity, such as the time she and her husband filed for bankruptcy in the mid-1970s and made do without health insurance.

"I know what our families are trying to do to survive every day," she said. "I've been there, and you never forget."

Enjoy your future, Connecticut, in which all end-of-life counseling is provided by the Undertaker, and even the First Dude has a fake tan!

Photo by Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Connecticut, Joe Lieberman, Linda McMahon, Republicans, Senate, Sports, Wrestling

From the Pork Barrel: Michele Bachmann on Education

* Michele Bachmann delivers an inspirational Back to School message to our nations students suffering under the yoke of our state-run education system.

* The American Family Association's Bryan Fischer loves those obnoxious, needy, abominations-before-God gay people so so much.

* Professional wrestling magnate Linda McMahaon not giving up on her quest to restore dignity to the U.S. Senate.

* Sen. David Vitter forced into attending President's jobs speech as though he were a U.S. senator.

* President Obama gives liberals their opinions about jobs speech a few hours early.

* Did Rick Perry point his finger at Ron Paul last night in an untoward manner?

Tags: American Family Association, Barack Obama, Bryan Fischer, David Vitter, Debates, Education, LGBT, Linda McMahon, Michele Bachmann, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Sara Benincasa, Senate, Sports, Unemployment, Wrestling

Linda McMahon KO'd

In the race to fill Chris Dodd's Senate seat in Connecticut, ABC News is projecting Democrat Richard Blumenthal will win over former World Wrestling Entertainment CEO and current Triple H's mother-in-law Linda McMahon, who famously donated $50 million dollars of her own money to her campaign.

Projections are all well and good of course, but it's important to remember that the night is not yet over, and there's still plenty of time for Hacksaw Jim Duggan to appear out of nowhere and knock Blumenthal out of the race with a two-by-four.

There also remains the possibility that right before the race is officially called, when the vote-counter comes out and does the thing where he lifts McMahon's hand up and lets it fall to the mat, that on the third drop, her arm will remain raised and she will regain her strength and make a surprising and swift comeback.

Of course, if you ask me, this entire race is fake. They planned out who would win and lose months ago and rehearsed the whole thing.

Tags: Chris Dodd, Connecticut, Linda McMahon, Liveblog, Richard Blumenthal, Senate, Wrestling

The Daily Show on John McCain's Very Consistent Message

There are two types of people in this world: those who like seeing the hypocrisy of long-serving Senators exposed with elegance and precision and those who love a well-placed Underground Railroad-related genitalia reference. With that in mind, this clip from last night's Daily Show has something for everyone.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: Arizona, Christine O’Donnell, Jason Jones, John McCain, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Linda McMahon, Lobbyists, Rand Paul, Samantha Bee, Senate, The Daily Show, Video, Wyatt Cenac