From the Pork Barrel: John Boehner, Socialism and Other Words That Obviously Go Together

* John Boehner's primary challenged David Lewis states the obvious: "John Boehner is a socialist." ("Socialist" is a generic term meaning someone I don't much care for, right? Yeah, I thought so.)

* Hey, since we've already lost the last four years to crippling bottomless recession due to the failings of unregulated capitalism, hey, why not just throw the rest of our lives down that well, too.

* Andrew Breitbart to Tea Partiers: "We outnumber [liberals] in this country, and we have the guns." Not sure about the numbers, but they definitely have the guns. And the heart medication; don't forget that.

* The deification of Ronald Reagan continues apace.

* The Daily Show's head writer thanked Glenn Beck after winning an Emmy, as well he should have!

* Glad to see Paul Krugman's singing career going so well.

Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images

Tags: Andrew Breitbart, Glenn Beck, Guns, John Boehner, Lindsey Graham, Music, Paul Krugman, Pork Barrel, Ronald Reagan, Social Security, TDS Writers, Tea Party, The Daily Show, The Emmys

From the Pork Barrel: Grumpy Old Men

* Libyan government not quite toppled enough for Sens. John McCain and Lindsey Graham. (Also, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.)

* Republican elder Karl Rove looks deep into chicken entrails, foresees a Palin presidential campaign descending upon the land like veil of the blackest sackcloth.

* Tea Party getting its feelings hurt by mean words from socialist Nazis intent on destroying America.

* Breaking News! Paul Ryan not running for president. Also not training for rodeo. Or planning epic road trip down to Colombia. Or starting a ska band out of his garage. Actually, Paul Ryan not doing the vast majority of things. We'll keep you posted!

Photo by Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images

Tags: House of Representatives, John McCain, Lindsey Graham, Paul Ryan, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Republicans, Senate, Tea Party, Wisconsin

Quote Unquote: Free(ish) Speech

Sen. Lindsey Graham responds to news that Muslim protesters to killed eleven people in Afghanistan last week after hearing that Pastor Terry Jones burned a Koran a few weeks ago…

"I wish we could find some way to hold people accountable. Free speech is a great idea, but we’re in a war. During World War II, you had limits on what you could do if it inspired the enemy."

Seriously! Don't get me wrong; I'm totally in favor of free speech. Totally totally! But… does it have to be so… free? Can't we have some kind of free speech that's mitigated in some way? Like, government-approved free speech. It'd be simple. If you wanna say something, you just contact the federal government, requesting permission to say the thing, and then six-to-eight weeks later, they get back to you and let you know if you're allowed to say it.

I think this could solve a lot of problems in this country, don't you?

Tags: Afghanistan, Bill of Rights, Christianity, Constitution, Islam, Koran, Lindsey Graham, Religion, Senate, South Carolina, Terry Jones

Jon Stewart on This War-Type Thing That We're Kind of Not (But Really Totally Are) In

So it goes…

Coverage continues after the jump.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

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Tags: John Bolton, John McCain, Jon Stewart, Libya, Lindsey Graham, Military, Muammar Qaddafi, The Daily Show, Video

Jon Stewart on the Threat of Anchor Babies

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart discussed a movement by conservatives in Washington to repeal the 14th amendment to prevent so-called "anchor babies." These anchor babies should, of course, not be confused with those babies in the 70s who were born with anchors because their mothers ate tainted fondue.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: 14th Amendment, Babies, Constitution, Immigration, Jon Stewart, Lindsey Graham, Louie Gohmert, The Daily Show, Video