From the Pork Barrel: Larry Craig, Political Consultant to the Stars

* Larry Craig's first piece of advice as your new consultant: Don't listen to anything Larry Craig tells you to do.

* Never accuse Meghan McCain of not having a sense of humor! Never!! (She really hates it when people confuse her with her mom.)

* In Lou Dobbs's dreams, Rachel Maddow is his very own tea-bagging queen.

* The Lobbyists! There's just too many of them! Game over, man! Game over!

* Jesus Christ! Why is Joe Biden talking the godamned Lord's name in vain, for Christ's sake?

* And the winner for The Year's Most Idiotic Piece of Political Punditry goes to…

Tags: Barack Obama, Christianity, Cindy McCain, CNN, George W. Bush, Israel, Joe Biden, John McCain, Larry Craig, Lou Dobbs, Meghan McCain, MSNBC, Pork Barrel, Rachel Maddow, Time Magazine

Sneaky Hawaiian Congressman Sneaks Anti-Birther Bill Past the House

When Congress is not busy squandering your children's future on Socialist porkulus bills, it is busy passing harmless legislation to "recognize" things, like firefighters and Cinco de Mayo and other nouns that normal people are capable of "recognizing" without floor debate.

And yesterday Rep. Neil Abercrombie (D-Hawaii) introduced one of these decorative resolutions, a little ditty entitled "Recognizing and celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the entry of Hawaii into the Union as the 50th State," because (now you know!) Hawaii celebrates its fiftieth anniversary in August. Yawn, motion passed, let's adjourn for dinner?

Not so fast…

[I]n this case, the implications of the resolution are much further reaching. That's because, as part of the 456-word resolution, Abercrombie is including the following line: "Whereas the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, was born in Hawaii…"

Then the House passed this thing, 378-0! Which means… which means… well, which means Lou Dobbs's head is going to explode.

Unless, wait just a minute.

Has anyone actually seen Hawaii's certificate of statehood?

Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Hawaii, Lou Dobbs, Neil Abercrombie

Jon Stewart's Top 7 Most Vicious Take Downs

Sometimes you tune in to The Daily Show because you're interested to see what kind of comedic insight the slightly-nerdy and generally-amicable Jon Stewart has to offer for the day's headlines.

And other times, you just want blood.

Here's a collection of some of Jon's most ruthless, gloves-off moments from The Daily Show…

Lou Dobbs

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Tags: Bill Bennett, Chris Matthews, Jim Cramer, Jon Stewart, Lou Dobbs, The Daily Show, William Kristol

Jon Stewart: If Barack Obama's Budget is Passed, Masturbation Will Cease to Work

Barack Obama's proposed federal budget is the largest in history, and Fox News is sure it will lead to whatever the first bad thing to pop into your head is.

What would you like to see in Obama's budget?

Tags: Fox, Jon Stewart, Karl Rove, Lou Dobbs, Mitt Romney, Sean Hannity, The Daily Show, Video

"Obama Waffles" Publicity Photos Recklessly Linked to By This Website

Shame on Indecision2008's Dylan Ris!

This past Monday, he had the nerve to link to photos of Lou Dobbs holding a box of Obama Waffles that had been brazenly posted on the internet by… the makers of Obama Waffles.

The issue at hand is that Ris claimed Dobbs had bought a box of the race-baiting waffles to take home to his wife. But the waffle makers quickly put Ris in his place by revealing that Lou Dobbs had been given a box of the race-baiting waffles to take home to his wife.

And since their missive ended with a groveling apology to Lou Dobbs for posting his photo on the internet, it appears that Ris wasn't the only guy who got chewed out by a racist this week.

But don't take my word for it. Take Barack Obama's! Here he is weighing in on his waffling ways, as quoted by the race-baiting waffle makers themselves…

Yo, B-Rock here droppin' waffle knowledge
Spellin' it out, 'cause I graduated college
Some say I waffle so fast, Barry's causin' whiplash
Just doin' my part, made wafflin' a fine art
For a waffle wit' style, like Chicago's Magnificent Mile
Spray whipped cream around the edge
Shake it first like Sister Sledge
Then say wit' me, I can be as waffly as I wanna be!
(That goes out to my Ludacris posse.)

Lou Dobbs couldn't have said it better himself.

Tags: Barack Obama, Lou Dobbs