Think you know American history? Not until you've been through a Louisiana school you don't, you tie-dyed, tree-hugging socialist.
For proof, just see if you can answer these questions, based on a textbook they're using in Louisiana's taxpayer-funded voucher schools.
Tags: Education, History, Louisiana
* There's no such thing as bad publicity. Just ask Solyndra.
* Sixty-two years of global warming in 13 seconds is scary.
* Zero-G fingernail clipping is not an X Games event.
* The son on Homeland is not going to turn out well.
* The BBC is looking for a few good transgender roles.
* Polaroid pictures of President Obama's inauguration.
* The Queen's castle guards shouldn't have to yell this twice.
* This creationist obviously didn't pay attention in biology class.
* A swell new magazine from music writer Maura Johnston–it fits in your pocket!
Tags: Barack Obama, Charles Darwin, Climate Change, Conan O'Brien, Creationism, Daily Links, England, Inauguration, LGBT, Louisiana, NASA, Queen Elizabeth II, Religion, Science & Technology, Solyndra, Terrorism, The New York Times, The Onion
Fill in the blank: (2+5) x ____ = (5×2)+(5×5). If you answered "learnin' about the distributive property is for communists," you're of one mind with Eric Bolling of Fox News, who took issue with a Scholastic worksheet he accused of "push[ing] the liberal agenda."
"Distribute the wealth with the lovely rich girl with a big ole bag of money, handing some money out," mocked Bolling, who claimed the textbook was part of leftist "indoctrination in schools."
Bolling still has a ways to go to reach the heights of math paranoia. In Glenn Beck's hands, this worksheet would have produced a soliloquy about algebra's Arabic origins and transitioned to a rant about the commutative property, which sounds like commutation, which sounds like Obama releasing violent felons from prisons to steal Americans' money. Nevertheless, Bolling did enough to join the conservative anti math-league, whose members include:
Tags: Bobby Jindal, Education, Fox News, Karl Rove, Louisiana, Mike Huckabee, Missouri, Polls, Rush Limbaugh, Science & Technology
Kerry Gauthier is a first-term Minnesota state representative from Duluth who advertised on Craigslist for a "no strings attached" encounter. After he admitted to having oral sex with a 17-year-old boy in the bushes of a truck stop, police declined to bring charges because the boy was older than 16, Minnesota's age of consent, and no money was exchanged. Ho-hum.
What makes this story different from the usual man blows boy story? For once, the lawmaker is a Democrat…
A Minnesota Democrat who had a rest-stop sexual encounter with a 17-year-old boy dropped his re-election bid Wednesday, hours after declaring he would stay in the race in defiance of party leaders who wanted him out as they fight to regain control of the state Legislature.
Rep. Kerry Gauthier, 56, told The Associated Press the decision was his own after multiple conversations with Democratic leaders pressing him to withdraw. He said he had been going back and forth about running "every 20 minutes for a week."
C'mon universe, where is the homophobic, family-values hypocrisy angle that makes these stories more than merely sad? Where does the news cycle get off leaving us without a cautionary tale of self-hating projection?
The Rev. Grant Storms, the former "Christian patriot" pastor whose marches against homosexuality at New Orleans' Southern Decadence festival briefly put him in the national spotlight, was convicted of obscenity Wednesday, for exposing himself while masturbating at Lafreniere Park last year. In his confession, he described public masturbation as "a thrill," but authorities debunked suspicions that he was a pedophile.
Oh, there we go. It gets off at a children's playground.
Tags: Louisiana, Minnesota, Sex, State Legislature
Thanks to legislation signed by Louisiana governor and potential Mitt Romney running mate Bobby Jindal, beginning this fall, thousands Louisiana schoolkids will receive taxpayer funded vouchers covering the full cost of tuition at private religious schools, some of which are reputed to be excellent alternatives to the state's under-performing public schools and some of which are fly by night operations relying on the hilarious-in-a-cry-yourself-to-sleep-kind-of-way curriculum contained in textbooks published by A Beka Book and Bob Jones University Press.
Mother Jones did yeoman's work of highlighting the wackiest facts these textbooks teach, which leads us to this quiz: Are You Smarter Than a Bible School-Educated Louisianan?
1. Which of the following is a true statement about the Trail of Tears?
a) It was a God-ordained event that brought Native Americans closer to Jesus Christ
b) It was a Department of Agriculture program designed to increase cotton production
c) All of the above
d) None of the above
2. Paleontologists have have found large chambers in certain dinosaur skulls. These chambers likely allowed the creatures to do what…?
a) Encase a larger brain
b) Maintain balance while walking
c) Shoot fire from their mouths or nostrils, like dragons
d) Store food near their energy-hungry brains
Tags: 30 Rock, Bobby Jindal, Christianity, Education, Evolution, Louisiana, Science & Technology