* Gresham Barrett — S.C. candidate for GOP gubernatorial nomination — swears to be "Christian family man who won't embarrass us." Hey, I'd forgotten Christian family men came in that variety?
* Why was Glenn Beck Goes to Harlem never aired! We demand, under the Freedom of Infotainment Act, that it be released to the public at once.
* John McCain calls upon the White House to acquiesce and support a regime change. And also something about Iran.
* Congressional Democrats behaving like Democrats, which is to say, like Republicans.
* Turns out unknown S.C. Democratic senatorial nominee and possible sex-offender Alvin Greene is so far outside the Party mainstream, he's taxonomically not even in the Animal Kingdom. (You'd think a thing like that would disqualify a guy for Congress. But, don't forget Tom DeLay was technically a slime mold.)
Tags: Alvin Greene, Democrats, Glenn Beck, House of Representatives, Iran, John McCain, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, New York City, Pork Barrel, Religion, Republicans, South Carolina
OMG! Have you heard that everybody in America is moving to New Hampshire all at once and that we're all gonna be neighbors?!
April Fools! That's not actually happening. (I got you so good! You were all like, "I'm moving to New Hampshire? But I haven't even had a chance to start packing.")
But, seriously. The Insane Clown Posse has taken over the entire world, and we now live in the One World Government that conspiracy theorists have long feared. No, really. Look, here's the proof. All of our world leaders are now Juggalos…
April Fools! That's just a Photoshopped image. I got you again! Man, you must be pretty embarrassed.
Tags: Barack Obama, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Muammar Qaddafi, New Hampshire, Pope Benedict XVI, Queen Elizabeth
Stephen Colbert Tackles the Serious, Complicated Issue of the Ongoing Conflict in Afghanistan and How Eric Massa Is So Totally Gay
Thank God for Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) for bringing more much-needed attention to this whole Eric Massa thing…
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.
Tags: Afghanistan, al Qaeda, Dennis Kucinich, Eric Massa, Hamid Karzai, House of Representatives, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Military, Patrick Kennedy, Rhode Island, Scandalgate, Sex, Stephen Colbert, Taliban, Terrorism, The Colbert Report
So, while we're all waiting for everything in the world to get better and political power to be doled out fairly according to those who have earned it, let's watch some Daily Show clips…
September 17, 2009: Voter Fraud in Afghanistan
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
Tags: Afghanistan, George W. Bush, Iran, John Kennedy, John Kerry, Jon Stewart, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Russia, Saddam Hussein, The Daily Show, Ukraine, Video
Call them what you will — puppets, dummies, inanimate objects being controlled by more powerful forces — but they control the world in which we live. Or, to be more precise, they are controlled into controlling the world in which we live.
Puppet Puppeteer Performance . . . Russian President Dmitry Medvedev Former Russian President and Current Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin A lifelong bureaucrat and world class yes man, he turned out to be ideally suited for sit down and being quiet while his former boss rerouted Russian political power to through the Prime Minister's office. . . . Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Ayatollah Ali Khamenei Main responsibilities include Holocaust denial, lying about nuclear experimentation and not getting in way of Ayatollah's subjugate citizenry. . . . Fox News The Republican Party The network has traditionally functioned mainly as the GOP's Ministry of Information, but its duties have recently expanded to include planning and executing grass roots public protests. . . . U.S. Congress Anyone willing to pay for dinner Anything you want them to do. Seriously, anything. Just so long as you're picking up the check and they can order another round. . . . Barack Obama The reanimated corpse of former President Franklin Roosevelt Continue plan to bring about the end of Western civilization, supply FDR with fresh brains twice a week.
For more-entertaining, less-politically-damaging puppets, tune into the new Comedy Central series The Jeff Dunham Show premiering this Thursday, October 22 at 9pm / 8c.
Tags: Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Barack Obama, Dmitry Medvedev, Fox, Franklin Roosevelt, House of Representatives, Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Republicans, Russia, Senate, Socialism, Vladimir Putin