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Maine
  • Orc Assassination Rogue Running for Maine State Senate

    I don't know about you, but I'm not quite sure that America is ready for an "orc assassination rogue" in one of our state legislatures

    In an email sent to reporters today, Maine GOP communications director David Sorensen reports that Colleen Lachowicz "has been living a time-consuming double life as a member of the World of Warcraft community."

    Sorensen's release notes that Lachowicz is at Level 85, the game's highest level, and is a character named Santiaga. Lachowicz apparently "lives vicariously through her," and comments as her on the liberal blog Daily Kos.

    A sample comment: "So I'm a level 68 orc rogue girl. That means I stab things . . . a lot. Who would have thought that a peace-lovin', social worker and democrat would enjoy that?!"

    Come to think of it, this isn't very hard to image at all.

    Dennis Kucinich was a U.S. congressperson for years.


    Tags: Maine, Nerdiness, Science & Technology, State Legislature, Video Games
  • One of a Kind Candidate: Holly Seeliger, Portland School Board, Portland, ME

    Holly SeeligerHolly Seeliger is running for school board in Portland, ME. Holly Seeliger is also a part-time burlesque dancer who goes by the name of Holly D'anger. What more do you want, people?

    Frankly, I'm surprised it took me this long to find a burlesquer candidate. Burlesque is hip these days, especially at bars where you get a tattoo with every whiskey and the bartenders wear artisanal suspenders. Going to a strip club means you're a creeper with a thin mustache, but going to a burlesque show means you're a sophisticated dandy, possibly also with a thin mustache. I can't help but think this distinction is a trap. Sooner or later, conventional wisdom will turn on us, like the way coffee was good and then it was bad and then it was good again. Just tell us what to do with these hot, dark, steamy desires! (I'm still talking about the coffee.)

    Seeliger told Indecision – chew on that one, Woodward and Bernstein – that voters haven't asked her to quit burlesque if she's elected to the Portland School Board. Mainer mamas didn't raise no fools. In fact, she says her burlesque can improve communication with voters, since it's an expression of her freedom of speech, and her performances "often reflect political and social themes." The human body is more flexible than I thought.

    In our not-really-wide-ranging interview, Seeliger stressed the importance of a "candidate's transparency and honesty with the public" to gain trust. I bet Portland's voters are interested in seeing her transparency, am I right, some percentage of fellas and some percentage of ladies??

    "I am also known locally as a broadcast journalist on Portland's CTN-5, but that doesn't get as much attention as my burlesque shows," Seeliger added. Okay. I mean… if she wants her TV work to get more attention… I almost feel embarrassed pointing out the obvious.

    If Seeliger is elected, it's pretty much guaranteed that for the first time in history middle school boys will voluntarily attend school board meetings. That's not to say Ms. Seeliger isn't a smart, professional class act who can speak eloquently about the need for honest portrayals of women to promote positive self-image among young women. Ayuh, she's got that down cold. But look, it took me 15 seconds to find video of her dancing, and 13-years-olds are the Watson and Crick of YouTube.

    Okay, okay, enough burlesque jokes. You want to know about the issues. As part of her policy platform, Ms. Seeliger/D'anger has proposed making school cafeteria lunches healthier by using local and organic produce. "The dinner at my high school prom consisted of frozen chicken fingers and Tater Tots, and I was not impressed," she told Pulitzer-snubbed Indecision. You hear that, kiddos? Macho Nacho Spicy Meat Day is now going to be grass-fed Macho Nacho Spicy Meat Day. Heirloom Tater Tot casserole. Tuscan kale dippers. I could do this all day. Free-range hot dog bar. Artisanal suspenders in vintage tassel sauce.

    Photo via Holly Seeliger's Facebook page

    Previously: Kerry Bentivolio, "Reindeer man"

    Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Ms. Seeliger a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:

    Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.


    Tags: Maine, One of a Kind Candidates
  • Maine Gov. Paul LePage Sorry If His Nazi Comparison Offended You

    It all began innocently enough when, in his weekly radio address, Maine Governor Paul LePage compared the Internal Revenue Service to the Gestapo, saying, "We the people have been told there is no choice, you must buy health insurance or pay the new Gestapo — the IRS."

    As a Jew raised with stories of Nazi atrocities, as passed down by relatives who had personal experience with World War II in Europe, I was heartened by LePage's fanning of the historical flame. The plan by Nazi Germany's secret police to round up Jews, gays and political opponents, hand them health insurance cards and provide them with subsidized coverage is surely one of the 20th century's lesser known atrocities, but LePage is right that we must never forget.

    Unfortunately, LePage couldn't leave well enough alone and offered clarification of his original remarks…

    Said LePage: "What I am trying to say is the Holocaust was a horrific crime against humanity and, frankly, I would never want to see that repeated. Maybe the IRS is not quite as bad — yet."

    A reporter asked, "But they're headed in that direction?"

    LePage responded, "They're headed in that direction."

    The governor was then asked if he thought the IRS was going to kill a lot of people like the Nazis and he responded, "Yeah."

    Apparently, that wasn't good enough for some people. So today, LePage formally apologized. "Millions of innocent people were murdered and I apologize for my insensitivity to the word and the offense some took to my comparison of the IRS and the Gestapo," he said in another radio address. There. He's sorry you were offended.

    Photo by Diane Bondareff/NBC — NBCU Photo Bank/Getty Images


    Tags: Health Care, IRS, Jewish, Maine, Nazis, Paul LePage
  • Anti-Gay Group Trying to Make "Sodomy Based Marriage" a Thing


    You probably don't know this, but there are two different kinds of marriages. The first one is based on the classic penis-in-vagina model, and the other is the (also classic) penis-in-bottom model, AKA sodomy. The difference between the two is that the first model is what God wants, and the other is an attack by "demonic forces" to unleash a "hellish" and "evil doctrine" on society.

    Don't feel bad if you didn't know this indisputable fact of emotional non-science — an anti-gay Super PAC that is opposing marriage equality in Maine is still trying to get the message out.

    Recently, this group of Maineiacs distributed a "truth pledge" during Pride Week at the University of Maine. Here is an excerpt

    I pledge that I will…

    3. Use the term "Sodomy Based Marriage" and avoid the deceptive terms "same sex or gay  marriage."

    4. Inform my friends and neighbors that the term "same sex marriage" contains two contradictory terms, and is therefore, illogical, false, and absurd.

    I guess "same sex marriage" does contain two contradictory terms: "sex" and "marriage." Maybe there are two different kinds of marriages. The first one is one where two adults have consensual sex whenever they want to and in any orifice, and the other is what these uptight bigots have: an "Ew Genitals Are Super Icky Based Marriage."

    Photo by David McNew/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Christianity, LGBT, Maine, Marriage Equality, Sex
  • Olympia Snowe Poached by Tea Party Extremists

    For big-game adventurers looking to spot the elusive RINO in its native habitat, there's no better place to explore than New England.

    The last natural reserve of the fabled political beast — known for its ideological camouflage and the ability to weather changes in the political climate — New England once hosted dozens of these mega-fauna, also known by their scientific nomenclature Republicanis Rockefelleria. There were Christopher Shays, Lowell Weicker and William Weld. And the female of the species were always represented by the Maine wonder twins, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe

    U.S. Sen. Olympia Snowe stunned Maine's political establishment on Tuesday by announcing she would not seek re-election in a decision likely to have ramifications on both congressional races here and on the battle for control of the U.S. Senate.

    "Unfortunately, I do not realistically expect the partisanship of recent years in the Senate to change over the short term. So at this stage of my tenure in public service, I have concluded that I am not prepared to commit myself to an additional six years in the Senate, which is what a fourth term would entail."

    Snowe added that she believed the country needed solutions to unite people and that "I believe there are unique opportunities to build support for that change from outside the United States Senate."

    Among the unique characteristics of the species is its difficult to understand dialect. Translated, Snowe's remarks read: "I am tired of being persecuted by the same elements of the Republican Party that I help enable by caucusing with the Senate GOP leadership. I'd rather spend more time with my own over-wrought sense of political martyrdom in the comfort of an Americans Elect rally or a Times editorial board meeting than spend another minute in the Senate."

    Electorally, Snowe's departure is good news for the Democrats, who have increased their likelihood of holding on to nominal control of the Senate. But there's good news for conservative Republicans too: After weeks of waging what liberals characterize as a "war on women," they've finally succeeded.

    With Snowe's departure, Republican lawmakers hardly have any women left.

    Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images


    Tags: Maine, Olympia Snowe, Republicans, Senate