If there's one thing this GOP election cycle needs, it's to be shaken up. To be turned upside-down by an uncompromising straight-shooter who can cut through the partisan baloney on both sides of the aisle to create real solutions for America.
Well, I'm pleased to report that Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul has swept in as a game-changing wildcard, a man poised to upend the status quo and put this country back on the path to fiscal responsibility and the ideals of individual liberty held dear by our Founders.
That's right — Ron Paul has won Maine's Washington County by 83 votes!
Ron Paul has gained 83 votes on Mitt Romney following a Republican presidential caucus in eastern Maine, where voting last week had been postponed due to bad weather. Romney still holds a 156-vote lead over Paul in statewide totals.
Paul received 163 votes in Saturday's Washington County caucus, where Republicans from more than two dozen towns gathered to cast their votes. Romney received 80 votes. Rick Santorum got 57 votes and Newt Gingrich received four votes.
What color tie do you think he'll wear at his inauguration?
Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Maine, Primaries, Republicans, Ron Paul
Caucuses are known for being a bit chaotic, but nothing compares to last week's GOP contest in Maine. Some counties had their caucuses cancelled due to minor snowfall while others were unable to send their final vote count to state officials.
The reason? Apparently, caucus emails look a lot like ads for Cialis…
Maine Republican Party chairman Charlie Webster has admitted that the state party made numerous clerical errors in counting the state's caucus results – even omitting some votes because emails reporting tallies "went to spam" in an email account. However, Webster insisted that the errors did not change the outcome.
On Saturday, he had declared former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney the winner of Maine's Presidential Preference Poll by fewer than 200 votes, even though not all municipalities had reported results…
Even as the state Republican Party prepares to issue new vote totals, certain municipalities have not yet gathered to caucus. Washington County, where 118 votes were cast in the 2008 caucuses, is scheduled to caucus this Saturday after its caucus was postponed due to inclement weather last weekend.
I'm not surprised Maine's Republican caucus results were mistaken for spam. Mitt Romney looks like the guy on a mountain bike in every Lipitor commercial, and Ron Paul probably wants the Treasury to buy gold from a Nigerian prince.
Spam filters could also have confused "rise in Santorum support" with "dick enhancement." It's a pretty easy mistake to make.
Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Internet, Maine, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Ron Paul, Weather
The Maine Republican party declared Mitt Romney the victor of the state's nonbinding caucus straw poll despite the fact that not all scheduled caucuses have met (thank goodness Ron Paul's camp isn't prone to conspiracy theorizing or else this would be quite the kerfuffle) but with only approximately 5,500 participants (2% of registered Republicans), it's worth considering how Maine's enthusiasm compares to other turnout figures:
1. The 2011 Ames Iowa Straw Poll; 16,892
2. The 2007 Ames Iowa Straw Poll; 14,302
3. Pretty much every Ames Iowa Straw poll since 1995.
4. Call this one a tie: the average yearly attendance at a Portland (Maine) Sea Dogs minor league baseball game; 5,510 (via Alec MacGillis)
5. A Mexico City zombie walk in which "participants are dressed in rags and ghoulish makeup to look bloody and decaying;" 9,860
6. A one-day job fair hosted by the Congressional Black Caucus in Atlanta, Georgia; approximately 6,000.
7. The combined participation at CPAC 2012 and 2011 straw polls; 7,150.
8. A sold-out WWE Raw performance at Maine's Bangor Auditorium; 5,948.
9. May 2011 special election for Maine's State Senate District 7. Control of the State Senate was not at stake; 7,626
10. Rick Perry's 2011 prayerfest; 30,000+
Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Tags: Maine, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Ron Paul
This past week, Republicans of Maine took leisurely trips at their own pace to polling centers to cast their primary votes and make their voices heard loud and clear: We are willing to accept Mitt Romney as our party nominee, we guess…
Mitt Romney won the Maine Republican caucuses Saturday, ending a string of defeats by overcoming a strong challenge by U.S. Rep. Ron Paul in a closely watched race.
Ron Paul, the conservative Texas congressman, came in a close second, his best showing in the primary season and the result of an energized and well-organized campaign. Romney received 39 percent of the votes, while Paul gathered 36 percent.
Narrowly edging out Ron Paul! That's gotta feel so good! Like somehow managing to best a incredibly smart chicken at Tic Tac Toe. You don't forget victories like that anytime soon.
And if that doesn't put a wallet-sized lump in your throat, let this soak in: Mitt Romney — the all-but-inevitable Republican nominee — actually managed to get a conference full of conservatives to choose him over an unelectable insane person who wants to outlaw contraceptives, by an entire seven percentage points!
At CPAC, the former Massachusetts governor nabbed 38 percent of activists’ support to edge out Rick Santorum, who finished second with 31 percent.
Following a Friday speech aimed directly at conservative core principles, Romney said Saturday he was "honored" by the CPAC result. "I'm heartened that so many friends here agree with me about the need for conservative change," he tweeted.
And at the Conservative Political Action Committee. What are the odds?
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Conservatives, CPAC, Maine, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Ron Paul
Hey Maine, hop on the table there. Now, if you'll just turn your head and cough, the doctor is going to take a look. This is going to be a little cold.
"If you want your kids to stay in Maine, have them drop out of school," Dr. James Whalen of Machias told the Bangor Daily News, likely with a steely gaze. If he was holding a mic at that point, he dropped it on the ground and then walked out of the room. If he didn't have a mic, he found one, and then dropped it. You hear that, Maine? Shape up! The doctor is not pleased with how you're taking care of yourself.
Three of Dr. Whalen's four children have left Maine. Baby birds need to fly (like the puffins up the coast at Machias Seal Island), but come on, call home once in a while, why don't you? The doctor sounds like he misses you. And what's up, fourth out of his four children? School wasn't your thing? We joke, we joke, mostly because we're a little intimidated by your dad.
The registered independent is running for a state senate seat in Maine's mighty District 29. He's also a hand surgeon. You might be surprised to learn there are more than five finger bones and a palm bone in the human hand, but that's just the sort of thing James Whalen knows. He also knows what's going on. According to the Bangor Daily News, "he's spent the last 33 years 'understanding what's going on.'"
"I'm tired of this whole county being underwater," said Whalen, whose district is literally next to the ocean, so… you know. That's got to hit a little close to home.
Photo by James Zipp/Photo Researchers/Getty Images
Previously: Diane Odeen, "Cheesehead: Don't forget it."
Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Dr. Whalen a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:
Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.
Tags: Maine, One of a Kind Candidates