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Marcus Bachmann
  • Michele Bachmann Aides Won't Stop Snitching

    Michele Bachmann suspends her campaignFive former Michele Bachmann staffers are accusing the former presidential candidate of not paying them for their campaign work unless they sign a nondisclosure agreement that prohibits them talking about any "unethical, immoral, or criminal activity" they may have witnessed during the campaign. (This is probably the least-abusive thing a Republican politician has done to workers in the past few months.)

    Thanks to Peter Waldron, a full-time evangelical crusader, part-time Bachmann campaign volunteer and one-time terrorism suspect, we know what those shady activities may have been.

    According to a complaint Waldron filed with the FEC, the Bachmann campaign illegally sent payments to Iowa state campaign chairman Kent Sorenson — a state senator who later joined Ron Paul's campaign — and improperly used money from MichelePAC to pay a fundraising consultant.

    In addition to these small-time campaign finance infractions, Waldron accused Bachmann of being under the "Rasputin-like" spell of her debate coach, Brett O'Donnell, who allegedly "prohibited her husband, Dr. Marcus Bachmann, from sleeping in the same room with wife while on the campaign trail."

    Naturally, these allegations are being denied by other Bachmann staffers, a few of whom are not crazed fanatics once accused of arms-smuggling in Africa. Nevertheless, all of these staffers did at one time agree that Bachmann was the best person to be the next President of the United States, so it's not clear whom we should trust.

    In the meantime, we need more staffers to reveal more dirt about Bachmann, like how she manages to keep getting elected in Minnesota and what she did with the other "L" in her name.

    Previously
    The 56 Best Things About Michele Bachmann

    Photo by Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images


    Tags: FEC, Fundraising, Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann
  • Dancing Politicians [GALLERY]

    The Internet's abuzz after seeing footage of Hillary Clinton dancing during a trip to South Africa. Of course, she's not the only politician who likes to get down, as William and Cheryl Marcus and Michele demonstrated. Click through for more!

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    Michele Bachmann

    See the full gallery here.

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    Photo by Tom Williams – Contributor/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images

    Related: The Best/Worst YouTube Comments from Hillary Clinton's Dancing Video


    Tags: Hillary Clinton, Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann
  • Michele Bachmann, Switzerland's Newest Cuckoo

    Michele Bachmann suspends her campaignCongratulations, Switzerland! After 500 years of democracy and peace, elaborate clocks are no longer the only kind of cuckoos your scenic confederacy will be known for…

    [Michele] Bachmann (R-Minn.) recently became a citizen of Switzerland, making her eligible to run for office in the tiny European nation, according to a Swiss TV report Tuesday…

    Marcus Bachmann, the congresswoman's husband since 1978, reportedly was eligible for Swiss citizenship due to his parents' nationality — but only registered it with the Swiss government Feb. 15. Once the process was finalized on March 19, Michele automatically became a citizen as well, according to Honegger, [a reporter for Swiss public television].

    Marcus Bachmann's application reportedly came at the behest of his children, the three youngest of whom have become Swiss citizens automatically, while the oldest have earned a fast-track path to naturalization. It must have been an awkward conversation. Sure, the prospect of a Bachmann presidency was terrifying, but asking your own father to plot escape plan from the United States to a tyrannical land of universal health insurance mandates has to be equally uncomfortable.

    There are other theories as to why dual citizenship in the United States and Crazylvania wasn't enough for the Minnesota congresswoman. She's now eligible to ruin politics in a whole other country. And the Alpine heights of Switzerland make for an ideal location to welcome the Rapture. But a less celestial explanation suggests that this is part of a transparent ploy to qualify Bachmann for the position of IRS Commissioner in a Mitt Romney administration. What better way to learn the ropes of promoting tax avoidance than to visit Romney's money?

    Photo by Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images


    Tags: Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann, Switzerland
  • The 56 Best Things About Michele Bachmann

    michele bachmann birthday

    As you are no doubt aware, today is a certain Minnesota-Representative-turned-failed-presidential-candidate's 56th birthday. To celebrate, we've drawn up this list of the 56 best things about Michele Bachmann. Don't say we never do anything for you, M-Ba!

    1. She enjoys corn dogs.

    2. She also enjoys "noodles, cheeses, chicken and bacon."

    3. She's tough on Iran and knows our imaginary embassy in Tehran should be relocated to Krypton or Atlantis.

    4. There was that one time she dressed up like Princess Leia at a debate. That was awesome.

    5. She gets all her facts about HPV vaccinations from random women she meets, unless they happen to be scientists.

    Read More »


    Tags: Birthers, Food, Health Care, House of Representatives, Iowa Straw Poll, Iran, Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota, Religion, Science & Technology, Tea Party, War on Christmas
  • Ron Paul Glitterbombed, Prophecy Complete

    You're no one in the GOP race until you've been glitter bombed by a protester, which must be why no one had yet bothered to glitter bomb Ron Paul.

    Alas, at a Minneapolis rally last night, Ron Paul's eyebrows were finally festooned with a spray of sparkles

    This time the culprit was not glitterbomb inventor Nick Espinosa, but a man calling himself "Charlie McAwesome." And while a traditional glitterbomb usually accompanies a pro-gay rights message, McAwesome says he yelled, "Housing and healthcare are human rights not privileges!"

    Oh wow, this all makes sense. Even if Ron Paul's bomb wasn't explicitly for gay rights, it must have still completed the prophecy. You know…

    Prophecy 8: And thus it shall come to pass that the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals shall rule a ban on gay marriage unconstitutional once a man who calls himself Charlie McAwesome endeavors to propel glitter upon the one known as Ron Paul.

    Charlie McAwesome will now take his place in the pantheon of heroes.


    Tags: LGBT, Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul