Welcome to The Indecision 11, our soft-hitting — caressing, really — politics questionnaire for smart, funny people. This week: Maria Bamford. Maria Bamford! You've seen her on Late Night with Conan O’Brien, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn and Jimmy Kimmel Live, not to mention her two Comedy Central Presents half-hour specials. Later this month you can catch her guest-starring on two new episodes of Louie, airing 7/19 and 7/26. She is the best, basically: @mariabamfoo.
What's your earliest political memory?
As an eight-year-old I flyered houses with my older sister Sarah for Mrs. Olsen's school board campaign, for which we were rewarded with two hermit crabs. I named mine Budweiser. She won.
What do you think of people who don't vote?
Well, if I had a chance to vote for whether or not non-voters would be legally titled Dum-dums (for example, all non-voters' IDs would read Dum-dum [Name]), I would vote against NOT. I think that's pretty clear and I never don't want not for others to know where I stand.
If you could meet any political figure, living or dead, who would it be?
Mitt Romney's net worth.
You're trapped in an elevator with the president. Strangely enough, you also have a superpower: the ability to make him do one thing of your choosing. What would you have him do?
Make same sex marriage legal and equal. It's sad that he hasn't.
Have you ever supported a candidate, issue or campaign and regretted it later?
I felt weird about John Kerry because he was so ridiculously rich. Just make ONE of your homes into affordable housing.
If you ran for office, what would your campaign slogan be?
"She can do it if it's on a Tuesday"
Fill in the blank: Washington, D.C. is __________________.
Hot and frustrating.
Who's the sleaziest person in politics?
Me! I could do a lot more to change things and instead I spend a lot of time looking out for myself and answering quizzes. In the time it took me to answer these questions, I could have signed 30 Internet petitions.
Who's the sexiest person in politics?
Barack Obama is a stone cold fox. He sends me emails with the subject heading "Hey."
Tell us a joke.
"All men are created equal." LOL!
Photo by Susan Maljan
Previously: Myq Kaplan
Tags: Maria Bamford, The Indecision 11