Just after midnight, Washington State's law legalizing same-sex marriage went into effect. Jane Abbott Lighty and Pete-e Petersen were given the first same-sex marriage license in King County, proving that social conservatives should focus more on the environmental impact of marriage equality, because damnit, it got real dusty in here all of a sudden.
Can you feel Lighty and Peterson's matrimony slowly boring into the foundation of your heterosexual relationship, undermining your family and uprooting civilized values? No? Neither can most Americans. According to yesterday's Gallup poll, 53% favor legalized same-sex marriage, tying the previous record high. Meanwhile, a new Quinnipiac poll shows marriage equality favored 48 to 46%.
The same Q-Poll found 51-44% support for the legalization of marijuana, coming on the back of a PPP poll showing a 58% majority in favor of recreational weed. It's an impressive sea-change in Americans' political opinions, but I don't think people have considered how long these pot-filled gay weddings are going to take: "Woah, have you looked at this wedding ring? No, I mean really looked at it?"
Photo by David Ryder/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: LGBT, Marijuana, Marriage, Marriage Equality, Polls, Washington
If this new poll is to be believed, then more Americans favor legalizing marijuana than ever before…
Support for marijuana legalization has edged up recently and is now tied with the opposition, according to a CBS poll released Friday — the first time since that survey started keeping track of the issue.
Forty-seven percent support legalization, and forty-seven percent oppose it, according to a CBS News poll. Support for legalizing pot crept up slightly from 45 percent in September, the poll found.
I don't know about you, but I don't buy it. I don't care what this poll says. I find it incredibly difficult to imagine that 146,448,200 red-blooded patriotic Americans are in favor of taking these marijuana drugs and injecting its pot dust into their veins so that they can "get off" and "feel groovy."
Hey, I'm young! I'm hep! I realize that kids like to get free love while going on their marijuana trips. But that's a phase. All of these 146 million people who support legalization are eventually going to grow out of it. Unless they become jazz saxophonists. But, let's be realistic here, how many job openings for jazz saxophonists have you seen recently? Everybody else is going to go out and get one of the many high-paying factory jobs available to them, and they'll go back to drinking beer or taking prescription drugs like our Founding Father intended.
Mark my words. This is a phase. It'll pass. Just like bell bottoms did.
Photo by David McNew/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Drugs, Marijuana, Polls
Washington state cast its 12 electoral votes for Barack Obama, as was the will of its electorate. Its voters also saw fit to legalize both gay marriage and recreational marijuana usage.
So, as I'm sure you can imagine, a place like Seattle is pretty much a nightmarish hellscape of oppression for freedom-loving Tea Party activists…
"It's getting harder and harder for me. I was at Trader Joe's, and I was glaring at everyone around me," says Keli Carender, 33, co-organizer of the local group… "I kept thinking I was surrounded by people who are destroying freedom,"says Carender. "It's starting to make me angry, not wanting to be around these people."
Tags: Drugs, LGBT, Marijuana, Marriage Equality, Tea Party, Washington
"This party tonight could be a model for the way that the world should work, and I just want to say that I'm totally stoked to the max about it." — Barack Obama, circa 1980
Key and Peele reveal the full video from Barry Obama's college years…
Tags: Barack Obama, Drugs, Education, Key & Peele, Marijuana