1. Mitt Romney's campaign misspells America as Amercia. Amercian Acceptionalism has never been so exceptionable.
2. But he was not the first to sing the praises of Amercia the Beautiful, whose fruited plains were first extolled by Tea Party protesters in 2010.
3. Rick Santorum's campaign sent reporters an email titled "MEDIA ADVISORY: SANTORUM'S PUBIC SCHEDULE." 15 minutes later, staffers sent a correction, though Santorum himself remained obsessed with all things pubic.
4. Jon Huntsman inaugurated his 2012 campaign with an event at the Statue of Liberty that featured press passes reading "John Huntsman for President" – adding an unnecessary H in the candidate's first name. The same mistake was made in mailers sent to New Hampshire voters. If only the votes for John Huntsman could be combined with the votes for Jon Huntsman, 2012's most sane Republican contender would… still have lost.
Tags: Dan Quayle, Joe Miller, Jon Huntsman, Lisa Murkowski, Martha Coakley, Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Tea Party
Scott Brown was totally not kidding about that whole basketball game thing with the President…
Sen. Scott Brown (R-Mass.) and his daughter, Ayla, say they're serious about their proposal to play hoops with President Barack Obama at the White House.
And now the father-daughter team is taking it a step further: They'd like the option of opening the game up to the public in order to raise money for Haiti.
"I think it'd be really fun… I was thinking why not charge admission. It'd be a really good game knowing me and my dad — we're very competitive — and give all the proceeds to Haiti," Ayla Brown said Monday in an interview with ABC News.
I think this is a great idea for Brown, but not such a great one for Obama. Scott Brown already effectively unseated Obama from the Oval Office by beating Martha Coakley for a Senate seat in Massachusetts. If he and his daughter beat him on the court as well, I don't see how Obama's would ever be able to come back from that kind of humiliation.
I mean, he'd have to leave Washington in disgrace, take up a drinking habit and spend his days puking up his esophagus in some seedy Illinois motel bathroom, until the day that he falls so deeply into a Wild Turkey-induced stupor that he wakes up on a b-ball court surrounded by a darkened void and finds Ted Kennedy standing at the other end of the court. The deceased statesman from Massachusetts — his voice distant and echoey at first, though increasingly close and warm — would of course challenge the confused and unshaven president to a game of H.O.R.S.E. And, through playing that game, Obama would re-find his political mojo.
Upon waking in his vomit-encrusted motel bathroom, he would immediately pour the dregs of his whiskey bottle down the sink, hop into a Stevie Wonder musical montage and begin training for his return to the Capitol.
Upon returning to the garbage-strewn, dilapidated halls of the White House, he would discover that, in his absence, Dick Cheney and his horde of reanimated Republican corpses had taken over the country.
And that's when it's time to kick some zombie ass!
So, yeah, I'm not really sure that accepting Sen. Brown's challenge is such a wise decision, politically speaking.
Tags: Barack Obama, Basketball, Haiti, Martha Coakley, Massachusetts, Scott Brown, Senate, Sports, Ted Kennedy
Voters in Massachusetts this week elected Republican Scott Brown to the Senate, ending the Democratic supermajority. And even if you're a liberal, you've got to agree the Democrats were a little out of control with all that power. In just a short time they managed to push through universal health care, gay marriage, legalized marijuana, mandatory abortion clinics in every church, putting Che Guevara on Mt. Rushmore and replacing the Second Amendment with a recipe for organic vegan arugula casserole. Thanks for reining them in, Massachusetts.
Coverage of the Massachusetts Senate election continues below. And if you want more John Oliver, be sure to tune in for a new episode of John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show, Friday at 11pm /10c. Meanwhile, this Saturday night in Miami, you can see The Daily Show & Friends stand-up show at The South Beach Comedy Festival, featuring John Oliver, Rob Riggle and TDS writer Rory Albanese. Click here for tickets and details.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
Tags: David Gergen, Fox, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Keith Olbermann, Martha Coakley, Massachusetts, Scott Brown, Sean Hannity, Senate, Steve Doocy, The Daily Show, Video