Election Day Survival Guide for Republicans

Election Day is terrifying! Your candidate might lose! What's worse, a candidate you don't like might win! Fear not, Republican friends, our handy guide will help you get through the stress of the next twenty-four hours. (It better not be more than twenty-four hours.)

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Things Mitt Romney Would Do for Meat Loaf's Love (But He Won't Do That)

By now you may have already seen Meat Loaf's infamous endorsement of Mitt Romney featuring a rendition of "America the Beautiful" that sounds like it was literally sung by a bat out of hell. If not, you can watch it starting at 45 seconds into this video…

For the record, that isn't even the first time Mitt Romney has mercilessly butchered that song. Why won't the Romney campaign just leave "America the Beautiful" alone?!

The whole thing begs the question — no, not "Why, God? Why?" — of how Mitt Romney do it? How does he secure the endorsement of major rock stars, such as Ted Nugent, Kid Rock and now Meat Loaf? I don't know about the other two, but I have a few ideas for possibilites on how Mitt Romney wooed Mr. Loaf…

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