Ann Romney Blames the Media

Good news for "you people." Ann Romney doesn't blame you for not electing her husband, even though he spends his days buying Honey Nut Cheerios from a CVS like some kind of hobo, instead of reigning over us from the White House.

Unless you people work for the media. Then Ann totally hates you.

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Why Gene Sperling Is Bob Woodward's Worst Nightmare

After Bob Woodward revealed that a White House official told him he would "regret" saying Barack Obama is negotiating the sequester in bad faith, the internet rage-o-sphere demanded to know the identity of this goon and the nature of his threat.

Now we know: the thug in question is Director of the National Economic Council Gene Sperling, and his vicious email to Woodward begins: "I apologize for raising my voice in our conversation today."

If that doesn't make your blood run cold, this will: "I know you may not believe this, but as a friend, I think you will regret staking out that claim." Ooooh. That sounds like… a warning that a journalist may be getting the story wrong, not a threat. Then again, this Gene Sperling is a very intimidating character:

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Scoring the Incredible Derp of the Friends of Hamas Saga

There are plenty of rational criticisms to be made of Chuck Hagel, including the fact that he only has one facial expression. Recently, however, rumors flew that Chuck–acting in his capacity as a professional jerkface who's hell-bent on destroying Israel–gave paid speeches to a group called "Friends of Hamas."

Which, LOL.

Today we learn that these rumors were accidentally kindled by reporter Dan Friedman, who made the mistake of attributing a sense of humor to one of his Capitol Hill sources:

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Barack Obama and Tiger Woods Hold Secret Golf Summit

Still reeling from a campaign in which both candidates limited media access and refused to answer hard-hitting questions like "What about your gaffes?", the political press has come to realize that the president won't even answer questions such as "What about your golfs?"

The White House did not allow pool reporters to cover Barack  Obama's weekend outing with Tiger Woods, prompting White House Correspondents Association's Ed Henry to issue a statement saying, "a broad cross section of our members from print, radio, online and TV have today expressed extreme frustration to me about having absolutely no access to the President of the United States this entire weekend."

The only people having a more sub-par day than the media were Fox Nation commenters:

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Herman Cain Will Make a Great Sarah Palin

In a definitive sign that Herman Cain's presidential bid was 100% successful, Fox News has hired the former candidate and Godfather's Pizza CEO as a paid contributor, just weeks after dropping Sarah Palin. Nearly every Fox show could benefit from Cain's political and business insight:

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