by Jeffrey Luppino-Esposito
Because you need a break from the mild catharsis of being pissed off at the news all the time…
Should we blame God, Allah, or the Internet for blatant ignorance? Wait, never mind, they're all the same person anyway.
This was still going on? I totally thought it got canned after season 3. It's like, we get it: advance a little, retreat a little, advance, kill some terrorist sympathizers, retreat– snorefest.
This seems like a crazy thing to say, until you remember how many times you've cried at the mere sight of an Oakland Raiders fan.
Everything has gone downhill for these people since September 4, 2006. Miss you, Steve.
The defense could have ended this immediately with the trusty old 'federal agent, shmederal agent' dismissal technique. Don't they teach these kids anything in law school anymore?
Hang in there Mel, we know it may seem like your work is done, but with a little research we think you'll find there are actually still a fair amount of ethnic groups left for you to offend.
@heidimontag ohemgeeee — ur face is 2 die 4! #toosoon?
Bobby Fischer! Where is he? I don't know! I don't know! (dead…but not a deadbeat dad!)
Craigslist killer kills himself in jail; probably after being scammed on Craigslist.
Steven Tyler and Simon Cowell have so much in common. Just think about it, for starters both of their first names start with the letter 'S', and also…uh…well…other things too.
Get your tweet on, follow @TheInDecider!
Tags: Australia, Barack Obama, Iraq, Mel Gibson, Rod Blagojevich, Sharron Angle, Twitter, Tworld News
Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!
Item! The Pages have exciting news for all our readers attending the Reverend John Hagee's "Christians United for Israel Conference" next month! There will be a special guest speaker in attendance, and no, it's not hunky faith-rocker Scott Stapp. It's the Senate's gift to facial droop, Joe Lieberman (I-CT)!
Now if Pastor Hagee knows three things about God, it's that the Man Upstairs sent Hurricane Katrina to New Orleans to stop a gay pride parade, Hitler to Europe to herd the Jews toward Israel, and now Joe Lieberman to the D.C. Convention Center to pack Hagee's own conference like The Great Whore on Christmas Eve!
And true to prophecy, Joe has agreed to headline the event, where he's slated to roll up in his Joemobile PT Cruiser, chastise Barack Obama, advocate the bombing of Iran, and lead the audience through a rendition of "Let's Go Joe!", the theme song to his three-way tie for third place in the 2004 New Hampshire Primary!
If there's one person who could benefit from some eleventh hour Joementum right about now, it's Hagee, who was recently given the Jeremiah Wright treatment by Senator John McCain. Enter Lieberman, an acclaimed Wall Street Journal editorialist, a new media pioneer with YouTube, and the author of Amazon.com's 2,787,833rd bestselling book, which is a thorough and passionate discourse on the topic of — you guessed it — himself!
All of which leads the Pages to an appeal. We're asking for one or more of our readers to sponsor us with a scholarship to this conference, so that we can personally cheer Joe on during his keynote address. We had originally intended to get in by winning Pastor Hagee's student film contest, but then lawyers informed us that our movie idea had already been taken by Mel Gibson.
So to make our dream a reality, please send any love offerings to the Senate Page Rapture Fund, courtesy of this website!
Tags: Barack Obama, Congressional Confidential, Joe Lieberman, John Hagee, John McCain, Mel Gibson