Did you know that for a brief moment in time, you — and me, and all our fellow U.S. citizens — were the proud owners of one of Michael Jackson's sequined gloves?! For real! We got it off this African dictator guy's son, and it was all like, Aw man, this is the coolest thing ever!
But then some jerkass activist judge in California — ninth circuit, of course! — made us give it back…
In October, the Obama administration took hold of some $71 million in seized assets from the son of an African dictator. Among the yachts, cars, jets and a $30 million mansion in Malibu, the items included $1.8 million worth of Jackson memorabilia, attained when Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue, son of the president of Equatorial Guinea, went on a celebrity memorabilia splurge inside the U.S.
But Nguema hasn't been charged with any crime in his homeland, nor has he been convicted of any crime in the U.S., so a California federal court has looked unfavorably on the U.S. government's attempts to moonwalk away with the items…
Nguema moved to the U.S. in 1991 to attend Pepperdine University and, according to the government, his expenses at the time were paid for by a U.S. oil company operating in his country. The emigrant had enormous wealth, though, so he spread it around, moving assets in and out of the country. In 2010, after Jackson died, Nguema is said to have acquired a treasure trove of Jackson memorabilia, including one of the singer's famous gloves.
I didn't even get a chance to try it on! Not once?! Did you?!
Gah! This is so unfair!
Tags: Equatorial Guinea, Judiciary, Michael Jackson, Music, Obama Administration
Right in the middle of a news cycle in which it seems like the entire country is chanting "Weiner! Weiner! Weiner!" as though they were attempting to summon some sort of juvenile fertility deity, it's a little hard to remember that we have weathered previous country-wide mortification.
But please allow The Daily Show's Lewis Black — who will be co-hosting Comedy Central's live digital feed of the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival's comedy stage on June 12th — to refresh your memory…
More American shame after the jump…
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
Tags: Bonnaroo, Corporations, Eliot Spitzer, Enron, House of Representatives, Joe Wilson, Lewis Black, Michael Jackson, Scandalgate, Senate, Strom Thurmond, The Daily Show, Video
Why is my tax money going toward government organizations shooting death rays from outer space at aging pop musicians? This is like the Carter administration all over again.
FSB sources are reporting to President Medvedev today that American pop icon Michael Jackson was "most assuredly" assassinated by the US Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) after an examination of data transmitted by a Russian Military's Kosmos 2450 satellite show "conclusively" that immediately prior to the music stars death in Los Angeles an electromagnetic pulse consistent in pattern to EMR weapons looted from the former Soviet Union by the United States was employed at the "exact coordinates" of the rock stars home.
Hmmm… That seems slightly implausible. But I'm going to give these unnamed Russian sources the benefit of the doubt, because I've never been burnt by unnamed Russian sources before.
Obviously, the CIA has, like, a million billion reasons to use top secret stolen Soviet satellite weapons technology to assassinate the guy who sang "Smooth Criminal." The only real problem is narrowing them down to one…
Tags: CIA, Michael Jackson, Russia, WMDs