Glenn Beck Brand Jeans Is a Real Thing

We're getting into the third act of the Glenn Beck biopic. This is where the main character's carefully foreshadowed selling-out phase reaches a ridiculous height. Any second now, an old zoo crew buddy will show up to say, "You've changed man. You used to be about the crazy, reckless, borderline-racist rants. Now, you're all about the money!"

Glenn Beck does his best Sam Elliot impression while selling his brand of patriotic jeans…

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Tags: Advertising, Glenn Beck, Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh

Michael Savage: Sarah Palin Is Dolly Parton So Therefore She Will Not Ever Be President (or Something)

Look. There are three undeniable obvious facts that every American are undoubtedly true…

1) The world was created over the course of about a week, 6000 years ago.

2) Snowstorms in February are definitive proof that Climate Change is a hoax invented by Al Gore.

3) Sarah Palin will be the next President of the United States.

So, why is right-right-right-right-wing radio host Michael Savage suddenly saying that if the GOP gives her the nomination it will ensure a second term for Barack Obama?

I feel like I'm being hustled somehow? Like, while I was busy trying to make sense of that clip from his show, Savage and Palin were, like, dropping bombs on New England Dr. Strangelove-style.

Does Boston still exist? Does anybody know? Something just doesn't feel right.

Tags: Barack Obama, Men and Women, Michael Savage, Music, Republicans, Sarah Palin

From the Pork Barrel: Where in the World Is Sarah Palin?

* Don't worry, Palinophiles fans. I'm sure this is all a part of her very-well-thought-out master plan. I mean, it's not like her to behave erratically.

* The godless, paganistic, heathens are turning on Obama?! But that's his base!!!

* This is, I think, how we were all hoping the Beer Summit would go down.

* Why Michael Savage's being banned from England is as disturbing as it is hilarious.

* What do the First Amendment and Lisa Lampanelli's hooha have in common? They both get expanded every time someone hosts a comedy roast (such as this one).

Tags: Alcohol, Atheists, Barack Obama, Bill of Rights, Constitution, Facebook, Henry Louis Gates Jr., James Crowley, Michael Savage, Pork Barrel, Religion, Sarah Palin, Twitter, United Kingdom, White House

Michael Savage Seeking Help From Hillary Clinton to Get Un-Banned From U.K.

You may have heard that uber-conservative radio host Michael Savage recently turned up on a list of people banned from the United Kingdom for some reason that completely remains a mystery to everybody in the world.

If you know anything about Savage, then you probably realize that this is pretty much the funniest thing ever. And you'd think that Savage would wear it as a badge of honor that a country full of non-American Europeans would dislike him so viscerally.

But, oddly enough, he — who theorhetically understands that the United Kingdom is not bound by the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution — actually had the opposite reaction…

"It is demented. That's a demented attitude. We are protected by the First Amendment, number one, they are not. And the First Amendment, as we all know, was written to protect offensive speech, not polite speech…

"[British Home Secretary Jacqui Smith] lumped me in with known murderers and terrorists, people who have been in prison for killing people."

To be fair, I'm sure the murderers and terrorists aren't any happier to have been listed alongside Savage.

That said, this decision is somewhat silly on the part of the U.K. — though certainly full of sweet, creamy, delicious poetic justice — and I'm sure it can be overturned pretty easily with a simple letter of support from our nation's Secretary of State.

Hmmm… Who is that these days? Oh, yeah. The person who used to be "most Godless woman in the Senate"…

Now it appears that Savage is seeking help from an old nemesis: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. The San Fransisco Chronicle's Rich Lieberman reports that "[l]awyers for Savage are formally asking [that] she call on the British Government to withdraw its ban."

Oh, it's like somebody took that "sweet, creamy, delicious poetic justice" from before and stirred in a heaping helping of rich, chocolaty "Suck it."

Tags: Bill of Rights, Constitution, Hillary Clinton, Michael Savage, United Kingdom

Bill Ayers + Joe the Plumber = G. Gordon Liddy

If the past two weeks have taught us anything about John McCain, it's that he's obsessed with a) domestic terrorists and b) plumbers. All of a sudden, his decades-long friendship with G. Gordon Liddy starts to make sense.

Liddy's claims to fame include…

* Serving as a White House "plumber" under Nixon, engineering the Watergate break-in, and serving a 4.5 year felony sentence as a result.

* Stating that, as a boy, hearing Hitler speak "gave me a strength inside I had never heard before."

* Plotting the murder of anti-Nixon journalist Jack Anderson and the firebombing of the Brookings Institute.

* Instructing his radio listeners on the proper way to kill a government official wearing a bulletproof vest.

* Inviting "Swift Boat" hack writer Jerome Corsi onto his show.

If these transgressions don't make Liddy every bit the domestic terrorist that Bill Ayers is, well… then Joe the Plumber makes over $250,000.

And given that Liddy has hosted McCain both on the air and in his living room, the only thing left to complete the circle would be giving Bill Ayers his own radio show.

If the FCC was listening last week, Michael Savage's slot should soon be available.

Tags: Barack Obama, G. Gordon Liddy, Jerome Corsi, Joe the Plumber, John McCain, Michael Savage, Richard Nixon, Watergate, William Ayers