Praise be to the gods of comedy, she has risen!
Michele Bachmann has returned from a long stretch of silence to grace us with a speech at Patrick Henry College, where she touted the flawlessness of her failed presidential campaign:
"I was very proud of the fact that I didn't get anything wrong that I said during the course of the debates. I didn't get anything wrong and that's a huge arena," she said.
Okay, Michele. Show us how you don't get anything wrong.
Tags: Feminism, Michele Bachmann, Religion, Women's Rights
Five former Michele Bachmann staffers are accusing the former presidential candidate of not paying them for their campaign work unless they sign a nondisclosure agreement that prohibits them talking about any "unethical, immoral, or criminal activity" they may have witnessed during the campaign. (This is probably the least-abusive thing a Republican politician has done to workers in the past few months.)
Thanks to Peter Waldron, a full-time evangelical crusader, part-time Bachmann campaign volunteer and one-time terrorism suspect, we know what those shady activities may have been.
According to a complaint Waldron filed with the FEC, the Bachmann campaign illegally sent payments to Iowa state campaign chairman Kent Sorenson — a state senator who later joined Ron Paul's campaign — and improperly used money from MichelePAC to pay a fundraising consultant.
In addition to these small-time campaign finance infractions, Waldron accused Bachmann of being under the "Rasputin-like" spell of her debate coach, Brett O'Donnell, who allegedly "prohibited her husband, Dr. Marcus Bachmann, from sleeping in the same room with wife while on the campaign trail."
Naturally, these allegations are being denied by other Bachmann staffers, a few of whom are not crazed fanatics once accused of arms-smuggling in Africa. Nevertheless, all of these staffers did at one time agree that Bachmann was the best person to be the next President of the United States, so it's not clear whom we should trust.
In the meantime, we need more staffers to reveal more dirt about Bachmann, like how she manages to keep getting elected in Minnesota and what she did with the other "L" in her name.
The 56 Best Things About Michele Bachmann
Photo by Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: FEC, Fundraising, Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann
Brookings Institution Senior Fellow Thomas E. Mann on the somewhat unlikely possibility of Michele Bachmann losing her congressional seat this Tuesday…
"A Bachmann loss would help the Republican Party get a grip on reality and start on the path back from ideological zealotry to problem solving."
Luckily for fans of insane conservative zealotry and political satire alike, that's really not a huge concern this time around.
Tags: House of Representatives, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota, Quote Unquote, Republicans
I'm gonna warn you: This video of Michele Bachmann being laughed at by a Minnesota audience while debating her congressional opponent Jim Graves is a little difficult to watch.
As a person who tries to be funny as a profession, it's a little painful for me to watch a career politician drawing bigger laughs that I'll probably ever earn…
Tags: Debates, House of Representatives, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota
For Americans who can't see Russia from their porch, pocketbook issues and social controversies are much more familiar than the ins-and-outs of foreign policy. That's why this primer exists. Of course, unlike most such guides, it's not written for idiots. Just by (elected) idiots.
From Afghanistan to Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan, here's what you need to know ahead of this evening's foreign policy-oriented presidential debate…
Continents: How Do They Work?
The administration's response to the embassy attack in Benghazi, Libya is expected to dominate discussion in at least one segment of tonight's discussion. But what is Libya? Is it part of the female anatomy only Todd Akin knows about? A European principality?
Tags: Barack Obama, Debates, Foreign Policy, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney