Upon discovering that any destruction of Detroit would be redundant, terrorists have nevertheless found another soft target: Joe Biden's tongue. According to the U.S. Secret Service, a U-Haul truck loaded with equipment for a Labor Day event featuring Vice President Joe Biden was stolen in Detroit yesterday.
If the stolen equipment, likely including a teleprompter, were intended for the president's use, this attack would merely render the Commander in Chief mute. As it is, Biden has no plans to change his speaking schedule…
"A U-Haul that we were utilizing was stolen at the Westin Hotel overnight," [Secret Service spokesman] Ed Donovan told CNN.
Donovan would not specify what equipment was in the U-Haul at the time it was stolen, and added that the theft shouldn't affect the vice president's plans on Monday.
Biden unleashed without any prompting! Haven't the people of Michigan suffered enough?
Photo by Ng Han Guan/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: Detroit, Joe Biden, Michigan
Michigan's 11th Congressional District is where dreams are born. Friend of Indecision Thaddeus McCotter resigned from his House seat to work on a TV sitcom, leaving an enigma-sized Mystery Hole in the district. Kerry Bentivolio just might be the enigma to fill it.
Bentivolio is the only name listed on the Aug. 7 GOP primary for McCotter's seat, but flip that script! A number of high-profile Republicans are backing a write-in candidate, former state Senator Nancy Cassis, instead. I'm so excited for you. You're about to meet Kerry Bentivolio, and the buzz is always better the first time.
First, let's get the big news out in the open. Bentivolio is a reindeer rancher. As should be expected, nay demanded, of anyone in that industry, he's also dabbled in Santa reenacting. Or is it Santa impersonating? We really need to get around to standardizing the vocabulary in this industry.
None of that matters, though, because all you really need to know is that Bentivolio played a doctor in The President Goes To Heaven, which may be the Chick Tract of movies. Instead of striking fear into the hearts of sinners, the movie sort of suggests that 9/11 was maybe an inside job. For whatever reason Bentivolio is distancing himself from this role, but there's only so far you can distance yourself from something that's on the Internet. Especially if that something involves a nurse telling a comatose George W. Bush-like president "You were once one of the most powerful men on earth, and now you've pooped your pants." It's basically an Aaron Sorkin version of The Room.
As for Cassis, the only thing she's brought to the race is those rubber bracelets diseased people wear so we know to avoid them. Her bracelet carries the stirring message "11th congressional district, write in Nancy Cassis and fill oval." Powerful, powerful stuff. Awaiting the follow-up bracelet, "Eat white breads with traditional family and clean plate."
The Bentivolio-Cassis race is being pitted as a showdown between an outsider Ron Paul acolyte and the GOP establishment. Sure, maybe. It's a Republican primary, there's not a lot of chance for color on a grayscale. And as a YouTube star and Santa impersonator, Bentivolio is a near-perfect candidate for the online era, so it's not surprising that he's been embraced by the Paul crowd, unleashing the Internet hordes and super PAC backing from a 21-year-old trustaronpaulian (the trustafarian's libertarian cousin).
Cassis, on the other hand, drew the support of super loser Rick Santorum. A write-in candidate with a washed-up sweater vest's endorsement is considered the big establishment pick? Mr. Bentivolio must be one heck of a wild carpet ride.
Oh, and you can find more clips of The President Goes To Heaven on YouTube, which is, incidentally, where you can find every Ron Paul supporter.
Photo via Kerry Bentivolio's Facebook page
Previously: Mindy Meyer, "Divacrat"
Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Mr. Bentivolio a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:
Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.
Tags: Michigan, One of a Kind Candidates
Who can say exactly why Michigan Republican Thaddeus McCotter chose today to abruptly resign from the U.S. House of Representatives. Maybe — after failing to make the state ballot for November — he's looking to leave D.C. with some shred of dignity intact. Maybe he's being forced out. Or maybe he's just the saddest person in America right now.
This except from his resignation seems to lean toward the latter…
"After nearly 26 years in elected office, this past nightmarish month and a half have, for the first time, severed the necessary harmony between the needs of my constituency and of my family. As this harmony is required to serve, its absence requires I leave.
"The recent event's totality of calumnies, indignities and deceits have weighed most heavily upon my family. Thus, acutely aware one cannot rebuild their hearth of home amongst the ruins of their U.S. House office, for the sake of my loved ones I must "strike another match, go start anew" by embracing the promotion back from public servant to sovereign citizen.
"I do not leave for an existing job and face diminishing prospects (and am both unwilling and ill-suited to lobby), my priorities are twofold: find gainful employment to help provide for my family; and continue to assist, in any way they see fit, the Michigan Attorney General's earnest and thorough investigation, which I requested, into the 2012 petition filing."
Politicians… Always putting a positive spin on everything.
For what it's worth, my cousin is looking for a guitarist to gig with him in A.C. for three nights next weekend. If anybody knows McCotter's contact info, can they pass that on? He'd have to get there himself, but meals are taken care of. And he can totally crash in the bass player's garage.
After the jump, you can watch Rep. McCotter in happier days, when he was our first Undercision 2012: Running with the Underdogs interviewee…
Tags: House of Representatives, Michigan, Thaddeus McCotter
With the general election just a few short months away, it's critical for Mitt Romney to reach out to the important swing states, focus on talking to the people who live there and allow the voters there to get to know him.
Unfortunately, that carries with it certain dangers. Such as the danger that the voters there might get to know him…
Among the voters in our poll living in Colorado, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia and Wisconsin, Obama's lead over Romney increases to 50%-42%.
Also in these swing states, Romney's favorability numbers have dropped: A month ago, Romney's fav/unfav score stood at 34%/38% nationally and 36%-36% in these 12 swing states. But in this latest survey, his national fav/unfav score is 33%-39% (that 39% unfav is tied with his all-time high) and 30%-41% in the swing states.
It's probably for the best to keep him away from swing staters for a little while longer. Like maybe just four or five months. After that, definitely get him out there.
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Colorado, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Mitt Romney, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Polls, Virginia, Wisconsin
As my co-blogger Dennis has reported, Mitt Romney may become the first person to win the presidency while losing all three of his supposed home states. Muddying this attempt at history is the fact that voters in at least two of Romney's home states refuse to acknowledge him as one of their own…
Massachusetts voters don't even really regard Romney as one of their own despite his time as Governor — only 25% say they consider him to be a Bay Stater, while 65% say they do not. There doesn't seem to be a state that wants to lay claim to Romney — when we polled Michigan last month, only 24% of voters said they considered him to be one of their own to 65% who said they did not.
If California rejects him, Romney will be homeless, despite his many houses.
Luckily for him, if worst comes to worst, his money will be waiting for him at the "shelter."
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Massachusetts, Michigan, Mitt Romney, Polls