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Michigan
  • Don't Say "Vagina" or You'll Get a Timeout

    For those outraged by the one-day speaking ban placed on Michigan State Rep. Lisa Brown after she used the word "vagina" during a debate over an anti-abortion bill, one Michigan Republican has come to soothe your children.

    It's okay to treat female legislators this way, because they are just overgrown children

    But her colleague, State Rep. Wayne Schmidt (R-Traverse City), said Republican leadership's decision to silence Brown was no different than putting a child in timeout.

    "It's like giving a kid a timeout for a day," he told Lansing radio host Patrick Shiels. "You know, hey, timeout, you wanna comment too far, you spoke your piece. We're gonna let these other people have their dissenting comments, and then we'll get back to business."

    I hope this makes everyone feel better, since it's the closest we'll get to seeing a conservative lawmaker support government-subsidized day care.

    Unfortunately, this still leaves the question of what constitutes Republican-approved, appropriate terminology for female genitalia in our most vagina-shaped of states. Michijayjay? Michivag? Fortunately, Schmidt's colleague in the Michigan House of Representatives has the answer.

    According to the Minnesota Nurses Association, Frank Foster (R-Petoskey) was canvassing a southside Lansing neighborhood when he entered into a heated discussion with Julia Smith-Heck, an MNA staffer. Not wanting to offend childlike female sensibilities with offensive terms like vagina, he allegedly called her a "c-word."

    No, not that "c-word." The less offensive kind.

    Photo by Brian Charles Watson/Wikimedia Commons


    Tags: Michigan, Republicans, Women's Rights
  • Ann and Mitt Romney, Stock Photo Models

    When a tender moment turns into the right moment, Mitt Romney is ready.

    Not satisfied with ruining the livelihoods of factory workers in his role as financier with Bain Capital, Romney has his sights on the jobs of stock photo models and Cialis commercial actors.

    At right is a picture taken at Holland Beach in Michigan, where the Romney campaign concluded its bus tour of 6 states.

    Before boarding their bus to leave, Mitt and Ann Romney walked down the beach and got their feet wet in Lake Michigan, managing to combine a record number of things that Romney likes: lakes, "fun things" and taking jobs from less handsome Americans.

    It's all part of his plan to convince voters that he cares about their welfare, since he's placed so many of them on it.

    Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Ann Romney, Michigan, Mitt Romney
  • Michigan Lawmaker Silenced for Saying "Vagina"

    What word starts with a "V," frightens a surprising number of men, and is referred to by epithets such as "You-Know-Who", "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" or "the Dark Lord?" In most parts of the world, the answer is Voldemort, but in the Michigan State House of Representatives, it's "vagina…"

    State Reps. Lisa Brown, D-West Bloomfield, and Barb Byrum, D-Onondaga, were told today that they wouldn't be recognized to publicly speak on any matters before the House because of comments they made Wednesday during an emotional debate on a bill that puts new restrictions on abortion providers.

    Brown, who voted against the legislation, told supporters of the bill, "I'm flattered you’re all so concerned about my vagina. But no means no."

    And Byrum was gaveled out of order after she protested when she wasn't allowed to speak on her amendment to the bill that would have required proof of a medical emergency or that a man’s life was in danger before a doctor could perform a vasectomy.

    It's unclear how long the lawmakers' punishment for their anodyne and anatomically correct remarks vaginaing all over the place, will last. But it's worth noting how far we haven't come: it's perfectly to decorous for the Michigan House to fast track one of the country's most restrictive anti-abortion measures — the bill passed 70-39, along partisan lines — but against the rules of order for a female legislator to talk about the body part that's being legislated.

    At least Twitter had a good day with the story, as people inserted the word that shall not be spoken into famous movie lines…

    Read More »


    Tags: Abortion, Michigan, Twitter, Women's Rights
  • Mitt Romney Is a Man Without a Home (State)

    If Mitt Romney manages to surf Barack Obama's current wave of bad news and plunging poll numbers all the way into office in November — which is starting to look like a real deal possibility lately — he'll most likely do it without the benefit of winning any of his three home states

    [N]ever before has a presidential candidate written off their home state. Or all of them, in Mitt Romney's case.

    Despite headquartering his campaign in Boston, the former governor of Massachusetts isn't going to win his home state this fall. More significantly, he isn't going to try.

    Ditto California, the state where he owns a beachfront La Jolla home complete with a $55,000 car elevator. And likely Michigan, the state of his birth, where his father served two terms as governor.

    If he can do it, he'd be only the second winning presidential candidate to accomplish such a feat. James Polk managed it back in 1844, but he did it while only losing two home states. So, Romney would be the first president to get the hat trick.

    Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: California, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mitt Romney
  • Thad McCotter Ends Re-Election Bid to Focus on Finding the Real Forger

    You won't have Thaddeus McCotter to kick around anymore. Not that anyone spent much time beating up on old Thad. Or thinking about him. Or — apart from an Indecision interview amid his brief underdog bid for Republican presidential nominee — even recognized his existence.

    Yet it's true, Thaddeus McCotter was not a Union-side Civil War general as his name would suggest, but a 21st century guitar playing pol who in addition to running for president, has represented Michigan's 11th Congressional district for nearly a decade.

    Nothing about the local political environment suggested that McCotter would have any trouble winning re-election and all was copacetic until McCotter turned in 2,000 petition signatures to get on the August congressional primary ballot. According to Michigan's Secretary of State, all but 244 of the signatures were fraudulent. Sheets of signatures were photocopied — in some case three times, and the duplicates inserted throughout the stack of petitions. In some cases, it appears that signatures from 2010 were copied to the 2012 form.

    Initially launching a write-in campaign to hold on to his seat, McCotter has now decided that running for re-election would distract from his search for the perpetrator of this "unheard of" fraud…

    "One can't clean up a mess multitasking," McCotter said in his statement. "Honoring my promise to the sovereign people of our community only allows me to finish the official duties of my present Congressional term; and aid the State Attorney General criminal investigation that I requested into identifying the person or persons who concocted the fraudulent petitions that have cost me so dearly.

    "Honoring this promise does not allow me to continue a political write-in campaign. This decision is final, regardless of how swiftly the investigation is concluded," he said.

    On the bright side, we finally found evidence of election fraud! It doesn't involve minorities trying to cast legal ballots in swing state elections, so it hardly merits real investigative resources, but at least detective McCotter and his famed attention to detail are on the case.

    Photo by Bill Pugliano/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Michigan, Republicans, Thaddeus McCotter