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Minnesota
  • Tonight Could Prove Big for Rick Santorum's Doomed Campaign

    Mitt Romney's campaign people have been busying themselves today by downplaying the importance of tonight's caucuses and pedantically reminding journalists that "Colorado and Minnesota hold caucuses with non-binding preference polls, and the Missouri primary is purely a beauty contest," the sentiment of which, I'm certain, is much-appreciated in all three states. ("Oh, those people's opinions? They don't matter." "Thanks!")

    But this really brings up a puzzling question: Why would Ol' Steamroller Romney want to knock the air out of a bunch of non-binding beauty contests? I don't recall him doing anything of the sort prior to the non-binding Mr. Iowa pageant? Or, for that matter, immediately after the non-binding Mr. Iowa pageant, when everybody still thought he got to keep the tiara.

    Come to think of it, it may have something to do with this

    Rick Santorum could be headed for a big day in today's contests in Colorado, Minnesota, and Missouri. Missouri looks like a probable win for Santorum. He's at 45% there to 32% for Mitt Romney and 19% for Paul. Minnesota provides an opportunity for a win as well. Currently he has a small advantage with 33% to 24% for Romney, 22% for Newt Gingrich, and 20% for Ron Paul. And Santorum should get a second place finish in Colorado, where Romney appears to be the likely winner. The standings there are Romney at 37%, Santorum at 27%, Gingrich at 21%, and Paul at 13%…

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    Tags: Colorado, Minnesota, Missouri, Polls, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum
  • Guess the Mystery Substance in Mitt Romney's Hair

    Thanks to his staunch opposition to same-sex marriage, Mitt Romney is no friend of the gays. So it was only a matter of time before LGBT activists dumped a fabulous bucket of sparkles all over his head. Yesterday, the GOP frontrunner was "glitter bombed" twice at a single campaign stop in Eagan, Minnesota.

    Shortly after his first glitter attack, Romney made an awkward joke about the incident. In other words, he acted like Mitt Romney

    Romney began his stump speech, but a few minutes later — after taking off his jacket, wiping glitter from his face and welcoming a kiss from his wife, Ann –Romney joked at his own expense.

    "Oh, I've got glitter in my hair," he said, laughing. "That's not all that's in my hair, I'll tell you that. I glue it on every morning, whether I need to or not."

    Wait, so what else is in there?

    Here are our best guesses for what's hiding in Mitt Romney's shiny salt-and-pepper mane…

    Gel (firm hold)

    His soul

    Anti-freeze

    $500,000 in cash

    An undiscovered Picasso

    One of the smaller Cayman Islands

    Ron Paul

    Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Marriage, Marriage Equality, Minnesota, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans
  • Michele Bachmann Possibly Dropping Out of Congressional Career, Too

    I've never heard of an especially painful case of candida voluntarily walking away from your groin to pursue other fungal interests after failing to infect some other body part, and I wasn't expecting anything like that from Michele Bachmann.

    So, this speculative not-actual-news about something that some unspecified people suspect might maybe happen possibly concerning Michele Bachmann's career comes as somewhat of a shock

    To run for president, Mrs. Bachmann suspended her House campaign. And the district she has represented since 2007 could be redrawn to her disadvantage.

    Her Sixth Congressional District includes the fast-growing suburbs and exurbs of the Twin Cities and faces significant changes when the state's maps get redrawn. On the same day she announced here that she would "stand aside" in the presidential race, Democrats and Republicans were arguing for their respective redistricting plans before a judicial panel in St. Paul…

    "There seems to be a pretty widespread sense that Bachmann has been giving serious consideration to not running," said Larry Jacobs, a political science professor at the University of Minnesota, based on his conversations with Republican figures around Mrs. Bachmann's Stillwater base.

    It seems pretty unlikely to me that Bachmann would voluntarily cede any quantum of power to another human being, though stranger things have allegedly happened.

    But who knows. Maybe she was actually right when she promised us that "we are going to see a miracle."

    Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: House of Representatives, Keith Olbermann, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota
  • Minnesota Gays Apologize to Anti-Gay State Senator for Destroying Her Marriage

    A few weeks back, Minnesota State Sen. Amy Koch resigned her position as Majority Leader after news surfaced that she was — at the risk of sounding rude — engaged in an "inappropriate relationship" with a subordinate. Sorry if that came off as a little indelicate. How's this? She was boning one of her staff members.

    The truly sad aspect of this story is that Koch — who is married with a child — was always such a tireless advocate of the sanctity of marriage. In fact, this conservative Republican went so far as to co-author a bill that would have (had it passed) amended the state constitution to read that "a marriage between a man and a woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in Minnesota." Genuine class.

    Thankfully, the truly corrosive forces behind Sen. Koch's downfall have come forward and taken responsibility for what they have wrought. In an open letter to Koch, Minneapolis resident John Medeiros apologized on behalf of the entire Minnesota gay community

    On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community's successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage.  We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an "illicit affair" with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society…

    It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of "adultery."

    Well, at least they see what they've done, and hopefully they all learned a valuable lesson. Though, I have this nagging feeling that there's someone else who still needs to take some responsibility for this.

    Oh, I know who it is: the atheists. I'm sure they're involved in this somehow or other.

    (via Friendly Atheist)


    Tags: LGBT, Minnesota, State Legislature