Latest Posts

  • Mississippi Absolutely Positively Ratifies Slavery Ban

    Better 148 years late then never, the state of Mississippi has finally ratified the 13th Amendment to the Constitution, thanks in part to the work of an immigrant doctor inspired by the movie Lincoln.

    According to the Clarion-Ledger, Dr. Ranjan Batra sat down to do some post-Lincoln Internet research, only to discover that Mississippi never officially ratified the 13th Amendment because of a clerical oversight.

    In fact, both chambers of the Mississippi legislature had voted in favor of ratification in 1995, but the Secretary of State never filed the paperwork with the federal government, until Dr. Batra and another civic-minded citizen pointed out the error earlier this month…

    On Feb. 7, Charles A. Barth, director of the Federal Register, wrote back that he had received the resolution: "With this action, the State of Mississippi has ratified the 13th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States."

    Watch out, America! Mississippi has stepped boldly into the 1870s and there's almost nothing it can't do now, unless that thing involves timely execution of basic government functions.

    Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Constitution, Mississippi, Movies, Slavery
  • America's Five Most Democratic Counties

    According to the latest popular vote tallies, Barack Obama's gifts and the New Black Panther Party's GOTV efforts earned the president 65,331,508 votes compared to 60,698,920 votes for Mitt Romney. Those on the losing side of this result can find solace in the Five Best Counties for Conservative Republicans, where they may be cocooned miles away from the nearest NPR-listening, Prius-driving, Obama-voting liberal.

    For the winners, however, there's the realization that 60 million votes is still a ton of people. Are there any places in America where a Democrat can be away from the Romney-voting hordes and experience the same level of blissful epistemic closure as their conservative counterparts? Yes. Yes there are.

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    Tags: Democrats, Liberals, Maryland, Mississippi, New York City, South Dakota, Washington DC
  • The Craziest Reactions to Barack Obama's Victory

    For reasons unknown, President Obama did not take my advice and begin his victory speech with a call for Sharia law, slavery reparations and the adoption of French as the national language. But despite his conciliatory address, not everyone was pleased with Obama's re-election…

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    Tags: Conservatives, Donald Trump, Mississippi, Republicans, Victoria Jackson
  • Mississippi Achieves Platonic Ideal in Voter Suppression

    For ages, election officials and elected representatives have struggled with a major flaw in the electoral system: Some American citizens are black or Hispanic.

    Each solution to this seemingly intractable problem was met with new obstacles. Forbid blacks from voting outright? Here comes the 15th Amendment to ruin the white supremacist fun.

    Institute poll taxes and literacy tests? The 24th Amendment and the Voting Rights Act now stand in the way.

    Create voter identification requirements that make it somewhat more onerous for poor people to get ballots? Somehow, those people make it to the DMV and get themselves an ID.

    Mississippi has the solution. Under the state's newly enacted voter suppression identification law, voters must present an approved form of identification in order to vote. In order to obtain a state-approved ID, voters must present a birth certificate. However, in order to get a birth certificate, which many citizens have lost, applicants must show a valid photo ID.

    Pamela Weaver, spokeswoman of the Mississippi Secretary of State's office, confirmed the existence of this problem, as thousands of Mississippi voters asked, "Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?"

    Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Mississippi, Voter Fraud, Voter Suppression
  • Mississippi Governor Says Liberals' Mission Is to "Abort Children"

    Mississippi didn't get the nickname "the Alabama of the South" for no reason, you know

    Days after he signed a law that would effectively shut down his state’s only remaining abortion-performing clinic, Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant accused Democrats of having one mission in life: "to abort children."

    "The hypocrisy of the left that now tried to kill this bill, that says that I should have never signed it, the true hypocrisy is that their one mission in life is to abort children, is to kill children in the womb," Bryant told conservative radio host Tony Perkins on Tuesday.

    Oh, man! This makes me so angry! Have you ever heard such a blatant misrepresentation of the progressive agenda? It is totally not liberals "one mission in life is to abort children… to kill children in the womb." That's ridiculous! It's patently absurd!

    If that were the case, where would we get new gay people?

    Related: Let's Take the Gulf of America Back from Mexico!

    Photo by Mark Wolfe/FEMA Photo Library/Wikimedia Commons

    Tags: Abortion, Mississippi, Phil Bryant