Now that the universities are closing down and their students are being set loose upon the nation's beach town, please don't forget that our nation's capitol, Washington D.C. — scenically located along the eastern banks of the Potomac River — which kind of makes it a beach town. A kind of swampy-ish beach town, but a beach town none the less. So, in a way, it's the perfect Spring Break destination. Cabo San Lucas ain't got nothing on D.C. as far as crazy party antics go. For example…
Bill Clinton gets some from Monica Lewinsky
Don't even front like you've never been there. You know how it goes. If it's late enough at night and no one else is around, you sometimes find yourself going a little further with friends and co-workers than you thought you would. It happens, dude. It happens! You just gotta move on with your life and hope that the other person doesn't go blabbing to her friends.
And that none of her friends will go secretly recording the details of what happened between you and her and then hand the tapes off to some guy who's been trying to get you fired for years. Cause that could totally ruin your week. Not to mention get you impeached by the U.S. House of Representatives.
And nothing busts up a Spring Break drinking binge like a federal impeachment.
Tags: Bill Clinton, Charles Sumner, Drugs, House of Representatives, Marion Barry, Monica Lewinsky, Preston Brooks, Richard Nixon, Senate, United Kingdom, Washington DC
Hey, everybody! It's the most jolliest time of the year! Shark Week on the Discovery Channel! (And no, we're not being sponsored by the Discovery Channel; I'm just an exceptional nerd.)
Back in January, we were all fired up about maybe calling the big primary day Shark Week Tuesday, but then it turned out that if we did that we'd have "legal issues," and we'd all "lose our jobs" and have to go back to "giving handjobs for money," and it was all just too much of a hassle. Who needs it?
But, now that Shark Week is actually upon us (and I have something else to think about besides seeing The Dark Knight for the eighth time), I thought it would be fun to celebrate it on this blog by running a week-long series asking you to see if you can find the difference between two different kinds of shark: the kind that eats surfers and the kind that eats presidential candidates.
a) Named a Woman of the Year by Glamour magazine in 1996.
b) Is extremely territorial, will attack other animals that enter its territory, and is responsible for more human deaths than any other type.
c) Has written that Al Gore "is so feminized and diversified and ecologically correct that he's practically lactating."
d) Has a diet that includes rays, dolphins, turtles, birds, molluscs, echinoderms, crustaceans, and terrestrial mammals such as rats and dogs, and can reach a weight of up to 700 pounds.
e) Has been accused of inserting ellipses to change a quotation's intended meaning.
f) Is found all over the world in many different areas and has been known to travel long distances.
g) Was awarded a Pulitzer Prize for its series of columns on the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
h) Tends to hunt in a pack.
Answers after the jump.
a – Dowd; b – Bull Shark; c – Dowd; d – Bull Shark; e – Dowd; f – Both; g – Dowd; h – Dowd
Tags: Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Maureen Dowd, Monica Lewinsky, New York Times, Shark Week Sharktacular!
Folks, we don't need to tell you we are a country at war. Children are starving in the streets. People are dying…
Let us pause to remember a more innocent time. A time when a chubby intern from Southern California could make headlines for blowing the President of the United States.
Brrring, brrring, brrring — ring a bell? Ten years ago this week, the infamous Monica Lewinsky Scandal began.
Cigars have never been the same since.
Take a sweaty walk down memory lane here.
Tags: Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky