* Could you write a catchy song about "Binders Full Of Women" in 5 hours?
* Hillary Clinton just wants to dance.
* Joe Biden's smirk really paid off, I guess.
* Can't get Book of Mormon tickets? Watch this video.
* Excerpts from Mitt Romney's binder prove concerning.
* I know Gandalf. I've read Gandalf. You, sir, are no Gandalf.
* Everything pundits say has never happened has happened.
* This musical was voted Best Comedic Musical About Voting. Maybe.
* Mitt Romney rides out the rest of this election year on undecided voters.
* Not since Cindy Crawford's George cover has patriotism been so beautiful.
Tags: Joe Biden, Mitt Romney, Mormon, The Onion
* Ann Romney says she loves giving tithing 10 percent of the family income to the Mormon Church so much that she cries. Her husband responded, "So do I, but for a different reason." Now that is an actual joke. I think.
* Todd Akin has promised the people of Missouri that he will hang himself limply from Mitt Romney's neck like an albatross all the way till November!
* A Tea Party state legislator who was warned the people of Maryland of how homosexuals will hurt our children got drunk and crashed his boat into another boat full of kids. Is this his way of coming out?
* Download our free iPhone and iPad app Indecision Election Companion and jump up into the the Peanut Gallery — our liveblog/instant reaction arena — to watch and respond with us as Jeb Bush and John McCain sit down with David Gregory to discuss probably a bunch of Republican stuff on NBC's Meet the Press.
Photo by Bill Pugliano/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: ann, Jeb Bush, John McCain, LGBT, Maryland, Meet the Press, Mitt Romney, Mormon, Pork Barrel, State Legislature, Tea Party, Todd Akin
Is there a Mormon version of Rumspringa, where Church of LDS members get to loosen their collars, drop their frighteningly good cheer, stop smiling awkwardly and have a drink of something stronger than seltzer? Because Mitt Romney could use something like that.
Typically, Romney's position on caffeine is the same as his view on releasing tax returns: He'll have none of it. But this Pulitzer-worthy reporting reveals a whole new side of Romney…
The Republican presidential candidate ordered coffee ice cream at Millie's restaurant in Nantucket Saturday when he bought treats for his staff and mingled with diners. His aides selected flavors including vanilla, rocky road, butter pecan and birthday cake ice cream.
Romney's gone wild!
It's not clear that Romney took more than a bite or two as he shook hands and posed for pictures in the crowded and buzzing vacation eatery.
Okay, "wild" by the standards of Romney. At least this incident confirms Jon Stewart's observation, "If he were a color, he'd be beige. If he were an ice cream flavor, he'd be beige."
Still, I'd rather have a cup of coffee with Romney than a beer with Barack Obama. Obama has to down a pint at a "beer summit" every time he offends some hyper-sensitive constituency. You'd rather have a beer with him then a coffee with a tightly-wound overachiever whose system has not been exposed to more than a trace quantity of caffeine? No, I want to be entertained.
Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: Mitt Romney, Mormon
American Atheists — a mildly prominent organization of nonbelievers whose purpose appears to be mocking organized religion by inadvertently adopting the same tactics that makes organized religion so readily mockable — unveiled a new billboard campaign, aimed at exposing "the foolishness of religion in the political landscape."
The billboards, targeting the faiths of President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, were originally slated to appear in Tampa during the Republican National Convention, but no billboard company in the city would lease the group space, perhaps worried about vandalism from Christians who read Matthew 5:39 as saying, "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, burn him and his billboard also."
Instead, the advertisements will appear exclusively in Charlotte, North Carolina, ahead of and during the Democratic National Convention, in what is probably a physics experiment to determine whether a smugness singularity can be achieved by combining the middle school version of atheism (I know of what I write) with a large gathering of liberals…
"Our political system is rife with religion and it depends too much on religion and not enough on substance," said David Silverman, president of American Atheists, sponsor of the ads.
"Religion is silly and religion has components that are inherently divisive… There is no place for any of that in the political system," he said.
On the bright side, at least there's one group with the courage to attack President Obama for his Protestantism.
But really, a billboard campaign that tries to actively convert people without offering any argument, except a crude critique of Christian and Mormon beliefs that aren't central to theism? Can't see how this fails. Checkmate, Christians.
Tags: Atheists, Christianity, Democratic National Convention, Mormon, Religion