Joss Whedon Bestows Unto Obama the Nerd Vote

Let's be honest, a president who's not afraid to play with lightsabers on the White House lawn was probably in no danger of losing the hard core nerd vote to a guy with a history of giving out free mandatory haircuts to sissies. But, just to be absolutely certain, it's probably a good idea to get Joss Whedon — filmmaker and King of the Nerds — to issue an official decree to his 20-sided-die-wielding constituents…

This, really, was kind of obligatory. Whedon not giving his nerdly blessing to Obama would be similar to Thomas S. Monson, President of the LDS, not endorsing Romney. He has to, he's one of his own.

David Lynch Endorses Obama with Non-Linear Dream Logic

With the exception of 1999's The Straight Story, David Lynch doesn't do anything straight. So it's no surprise that his endorsement of President Obama is as loopy as they come…

"I am going to vote for re-electing President Obama. I have noticed something in Mitt Romney’s name, which I think speaks to what he is about. If you just rearrange a few letters, Romney becomes R MONEY.

"I believe Mitt Romney wants to get his Mitts on R Money. He would like to get it and divide it up with his friends, the Big Money Bunch. I believe he would like to get his Mitts on R Money, R Resources, R Freedoms, and R American Dream."

David Lynch is the only person who's words make more sense when uttered by a backward's speaking dwarf.

I guess Mitt Romney will just have to continue spending the rest of his life never having seen a David Lynch movie. And Paul Ryan will have to spend the rest of his life being a real-life Kyle MacLachlan.

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Lindsay Lohan's Late-Night Political Scratch-Fight

How corrosive is the modern political atmosphere in which we are all forced to live our lives?

So corrosive that it can even drag down innocent pop role models like Lindsay Lohan, though such a scenario seems scarcely a possibility…

The "Mean Girls" actress mixed it up with a starstruck congressional staffer in her Manhattan hotel early Sunday, prompting cops to step in.

Not our little angel! How did such a guileless young talent find herself wrapped up in such an ugly mess as this?

The details are almost too disturbing to deal with…

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If Only Kirk Cameron Were Marty McFly

While addressing the goodly crowd at Tony Perkins' annual Values Voter Summit this afternoon, Kirk Cameron lamented a sad reality of life that I think a lot of us know all too well…

"If only my name was Marty McFly and I had a DeLorean. And I could go back and talk to [the Founding Fathers] and asked them 'What are we doing wrong?'"

If only we could live and behave like a fictional character in an invented world that is not beholden everyday physics as is understood by science, one in which the bad guys are punished and the good guys live happily ever after. Sigh. If only…

Alas. I suppose Kirk Cameron and all the other conservative Christians who are attending the Values Voter Summit with him this weekend will just have to make due with their Biblical interpretation of reality. At least until they're all raptured away while the rest of us are hurled into a lake of fire that shall never be quenched.

John Kerry's DNC Speech Keeps It Current

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