* Jeffrey Ross drops in and kills at an Occupy L.A. open mic.
* A map of the United States that shows us exactly what to fear, via Laughing Squid.
* Conan O'Brian spoofs the Nevada GOP debate audience questions.
* An update on the comatose GOP frontrunner, from The Onion.
* Gaddafi : A sharp-dressed man. From BuzzFeed.
Tags: Barack Obama, BuzzFeed, Comedy Central Insider, Conan O'Brien, Daily Links, Debates, Muammar Qaddafi, Nevada, Occupy Wall Street, Primaries, Republicans, The Onion
So, here's the big news from Libya this morning…
Muammar Gaddafi was killed on Thursday as Libya's new leaders declared they had overrun the last bastion of his long rule, sparking wild celebrations that eight months of war may finally be over…
"He was killed in an attack by the fighters. There is footage of that," the NTC's information minister, Mahmoud Shammam, told Reuters.
Well, that's one of them. All that's left now is track down Muammar Qaddafi, Moammar Kadafy, Muamar el-Qadaffi, Momar Gadhafi and Muaommer Qkuqaddaffiy.
Of course, it'd be great for them to get their hands on Mmmummoamer el Kwaddaeddfi, but let's face facts. That guy's too smart to get caught. He's long gone.
Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Libya, Muammar Qaddafi
But the good news is that he now has the time to spend all the rest of his days lazing in a verdant field with his one true love…
The ransacking of Moammar Gadhafi's compound is turning up some bizarre loot. Following on from the Libyan leader's eccentric fashion accessories and his daughter's golden mermaid couch, the latest discovery is a photo album filled with page after page of pictures of Condoleezza Rice…
In a 2007 interview with al-Jazeera television, Gadhafi spoke of Rice in glowing terms. "I support my darling black African woman," he said. "I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders… Leezza, Leezza, Leezza… I love her very much. I admire her and I'm proud of her because she's a black woman of African origin."
Okay, first, they're gonna get married. In a ginormous palace made of Starlight Mints. And the ceremony will be attended by exactly 1,000 ponies of multitudinous hues. (Not 999 or 1,001 — 1,000 exactly!) And Condoleezza will be devastatingly beautiful in her pink chiffon wedding dress. And Muammar will be devastatingly handsome in his pink chiffon wedding dress. And then they'll live together in a castle built on top of a cloud. Forever and ever and ever in blissful happiness. And then Muammar will be elected Dictator of the World and he will crush all those who deposed him beneath his iron spiked gauntlet. And Muammar and Condoleezza will laugh.
Oh, how they will laugh.
Tags: Condoleezza Rice, Libya, Muammar Qaddafi
* Democrats turn out to be surprisingly effective at getting what they want when what they want turns out to be money for Democrats.
* John McCain apparently promised Muammar Qaddafi that the U.S. was gonna be his BFF. That's pretty embarrassing. I mean, he totally didn't keep that promise.
* Levi Johnston not running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Also, Levi Johnston was maybe going to run for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska.
* Dick Cheney kept a secret resignation letter in the safe where he kept his original still-beating heart and the soul of the gypsy woman who tried to cross him back in 1694.
Photo by Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: Alaska, Democrats, Dick Cheney, John McCain, Levi Johnston, Libya, Money, Muammar Qaddafi, Pork Barrel, Senate, Wasilla