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National Enquirer
  • Sarah Palin Did It with Future NBA Star Glen Rice Back in Those Crazy '80s, According to New Biography

    According to Joe McGinniss' new biography of Sarah Palin, the one-day partial-term governor of Alaska had a somewhat… intimate encounter with future NBA player Glen Rice back in her post-college/TV sports reporting days

    Sarah hooked up with the NBA great, then a 6-foot-8 junior at the University of Michigan when he was playing in a college basketball tournament in Alaska in 1987, the book says. At the time, Sarah, just out of college, was working as a sports reporter for the Anchorage TV station KTUU.

    A publishing source told The Enquirer that McGinniss claims Sarah had a "fetish" for black men at the time and he quotes a friend as saying Sarah had "hauled (Rice’s) ass down." A source unrelated to the book told The Enquirer, Todd was very much in the picture at the time and the couple married just nine months later.

    Yeah, well, that's just, like, biographer Joe McGinniss and the National Enquirer's opinion, man…

    In the book, McGinniss quotes Rice as confirming the one-night stand.

    Okay, so she had sex with a black dude. Or Glen Rice is lying for no good reason at all. (I can't imagine that's a source of pride for him.)

    I'm not exactly certain what the significance of this is. I mean, this probably won't play too well with a certain contingent of her fan base. But those people will probably chalk this up as a left-wing smear job, because, well, they'd probably consider accusing someone of having sex with a black person as being a smear.

    And I guess it makes her look like a hypocrite when taken along with all her abstinence-only education nonsense talk. But, she's been proudly draping herself in hypocrisy for years now. This is just like an extra hypocrisy scarf or something.

    If anything, this actually kind of makes her more likable as far as I'm concerned. Especially considering allegations also coming out in the book that as governor of Alaska she had a bunch of minority volunteer state workers fired after taking office because she "just isn’t comfortable in the presence of dark-skinned people."

    If this Glen Rice news has any merit to it, it means she's comfortable in their presence, at least to some degree.

    (via Deadspin)

    Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Alaska, Basketball, Books, Glen Rice, Joe McGinniss, National Enquirer, Sarah Palin, Sex, Sports
  • Portland Police Re-Open the Case of Al Gore's Crazed Sex Poodle Penis

    Unfortunately for everyone who is unexcited about being forced to imagine the gelatinous girth of Al Gore roiling about atop an unwilling human person (and for everyone else, congratulations!), the Portland, Oregon police are re-opening the "crazed sex poodle" scandal that is currently about to start rocking the nation!

    Portland police said Wednesday that they will reopen and investigate a massage therapist's allegations that former Vice President Al Gore sexually assaulted her at a downtown hotel in October 2006…

    Records that police released last week revealed that Portland sex assault investigators took a detailed statement from Hagerty in January 2009 but never investigated it and closed the case, citing "insufficient evidence."

    Molly Hagerty — the allegedly aggrieved masseuse — is claiming that she has surveillance camera footage of an assault upon her personage by the former Vice President and a pair of her pants full of his DNA. (That, by the way, is the most unsavory use of the acronym "DNA" that you'll see for quite some time.)

    "Al Gore is a pervert and sexual predator. He’s not what people think he is — he's a sick man!"

    Don't know if this is true, but even if it is, should it really come as a shock to anyone? Isn't that just part of the green lifestyle he advocates? Spreading a bunch of seed around?

    Tags: Al Gore, National Enquirer, Oregon, Sex
  • Wedding Bells Are in the Air for John Edwards and That Lady with Whom He Was Cheating on His Wife

    The National Enquirer — which has yet to drop the ball on any of this John Edwards stuff — has another big and joyous announcement today…

    John Edwards has proposed to his mistress Rielle Hunter, and is buying a luxury $3.5 million beachfront home where they can live happily ever after with their love child, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively…

    "John dropped the proposal bomb on Rielle shortly before he issued his statement" that he was indeed Frances' father, a close source divulged… "John has said that when his divorce is final, he'll buy her a diamond ring. But in the meantime, he's getting them a house."

    Aw. It's so much like a fairy tale I can hardly believe it!

    I mean, like, the old ones. Before Walt Disney cleaned them up and took out all the sex tape and wife-hitting stuff.

    Tags: John Edwards, National Enquirer, Rielle Hunter, Scandalgate
  • Oh, So Now There's a Rumor About John Edwards Hitting His Wife? I'm Sorry, But Is There Room for Another Head in That Oven?

    Okay, let's just get a few things straight before we go any further.

    First of all, the source here The National Enquirer, which itself is sourcing an anonymous "friend" of Elizabeth Edwards, who is trustworthy enough to confide in, but also willing to run to the closet tabloid with the confidential information to see his/her non-name in print. (Oh, but he/she passed a lie detector test, so his/her word is obviously gold.)

    Okay, now that we got that out of the way

    "John [Edwards] beat me," Elizabeth [Edwards] had told the friend.

    Hello, ugly rumor that I hope is not true. How nice to meet you…

    Other sources confirm that the couple's furious confrontation was the "final straw" in 60-year-old Elizabeth's decision to end their 32-year marriage.

    According to the source, Elizabeth said this was the final straw: "When he (John) made the decision to hit me, it was over." The Enquirer also recounts incidents where Elizabeth "lashed out physically at John."

    Okay, so the jury is definitely out on whether or not John Edwards "made the decision to hit" his wife (that seems like a bad decision to make), but he had clearly at some point "made the decision" to be a complete dirt bag. So, who knows!

    Does he recreationally electrocute puppies with Michael Vick? Subjugate a species of anthropoid bug-people in a South African ghetto? Do script punch-ups for Michael Bay? I don't know! I don't know what this guy is capable of!

    Personally, I'm holding out hope that this is just a scuzzy rumor about a scuzzy person by a scuzzy magazine that you're reading about now on a scuzzy website.

    Tags: Elizabeth Edwards, John Edwards, National Enquirer
  • Cindy McCain Having Affair, Reports Sleazy Tabloid (via Even Sleazier Political Website)

    As though life wasn't hard enough for John McCain these days — what with having to read about his former political rival sitting down with the world's foremost economic experts, while he eats cupcakes with talking heads from I Love the 80s — now he has to deal with this piece of trash recently purported by the trashy, but uncomfortably reliable (as of late), National Enquirer…

    The ENQUIRER's exclusive bombshell expose as Sen. John McCain's wife, Cindy, is caught with another man! Not only that but multiple witnesses have caught the pair lip locking on several other occasions.

    "I couldn't believe I was watching Cindy McCain passionately kissing and hugging another man!" That's the stunned reaction of an eyewitness who says he watched in shock — and snapped photos — as the former presidential candidate's wife romantically kissed a long-haired man who resembles "a washed-up '80s rock musician."

    I took a long look at the photo provided, and I have to say that it definitely resembles a woman of some sort who has hair on top of her head kissing something that looks like a man. (It's either that or some sort of sea creature briefly rising above the surface of a dark lake.)

    I double-checked the facts: Cindy McCain is a woman, and she does have hair. Whether or not she knows how to kiss is still open to debate.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I think that the National Enquirer has rested its case.

    Tags: Cindy McCain, John McCain, National Enquirer