Rick Santorum, Expert on the Arabic Religion

Think Progress points us to this excerpt from self-regarded expert on the Islamic faith Rick Santorum's recent address on Middle Eastern religion at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln…

Santorum said he believes Muslims' religious views cannot be changed or altered, so Middle Easterners reject American, democratic ideals.

"A democracy could not exist because Mohammed already made the perfect law," Santorum said. "The Quran is perfect just the way it is, that’s why it is only written in Islamic."

That last bit might not seem like it makes any sense at all. In fact, it might make the former senator sound like he's a complete idiot. But that's only because you don't really understand Santorum's words.

Because he's speaking in Christian Conservative.

Tags: Islam, Nebraska, Pennsylvania, Rick Santorum, Senate

Inauguration Night Life: The Congresspeople of Congress

Earlier we gave you a taste of the red-hot celebrities who descended upon Washington in hopes of getting within eyeshot of mega-church mega-star Rick Warren!

What you may not realize is that inside the Beltway, the likes of Tom Brokaw, Michael Wilbon and company are considered second-tier celebrities. Sure they may have fame and fortune, but can any of those guys invoke cloture on floor debate or suggest the absence of a quorum?

For those kinds of stars, we want you to meet the men and women who keep Washington running… Escorts.

But also, here are some photos of us with members of Congress.

Here's California Congressman Henry Waxman, who celebrated his recent election as Chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee by purchasing a shiny new pair of platform shoes.

The hottest name in Washington right now (or at least since Rep. Virgil Goode (R-VA) lost re-election) has to be Roland Burris, the brand-new Senator from Illinois. Here he is caught off guard by a man wearing a wet cat on his head, whom he mistook for Governor Rod Blagojevich.

Sen. Olympia Snowe is a real nice lady who represents the State of Maine. She grew up in Augusta, moved to Auburn, but now lives in Falmouth, which is over under Cuxabexis down to the Penobscot County line, cross to Caucomgomoc, then get on a snow machine and head yourself down to Piscataquis… well… actually you can't get theah from heah.

We had a great time with Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson, who wants you to know that Omaha is the home of the College World Series and Warren Buffett — and is a great stopover on your way to Wichita.

And here is Florida Senator Bill Nelson, who is also a nice man. Although come to think of it, maybe this one is Ben Nelson, which would make the other guy Bill. We understand that this kind of confusion is always popping up between President Jimmy Carter and Dwayne "Lil Wayne" Carter.

Jesse Jackson, Jr. looked trim and fit at the Illinois State Society Gala, and the ladies on his arm would certainly agree. No doubt Jackson had just arrived from a 3 hour sparring session at Sugar Ray Leonard's Maryland gym, preparing for his upcoming prize fight with Rep. Michele "Rambo" Bachmann (R-MN) on the House floor.

Tags: Ben Nelson, Bill Nelson, California, Florida, Henry Waxman, House of Representatives, Illinois, Inauguration, Jesse Jackson Jr., Maine, Nebraska, Olympia Snowe, Roland Burris, Senate, Washington DC

From the Pork Barrel: McCain and Obama Together Again

* John McCain and Barack Obama to meet for the first time since they hated each other's stinking guts.

* Barack Obama takes a little piece of Nebraska, just to spite the rednecks.

* Obama already inspiring Change in Israel.

* Michael Steele throws his hat into the ring to help take down the GOP.

* Chris Dodd admits guilt in aiding and abetting a Lieberman.

* Joe Biden given standard Philadelphia cheer at Eagles game.

Tags: Barack Obama, Chris Dodd, Israel, Joe Biden, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, Michael Steele, Nebraska, Pennsylvania, Pork Barrel, Senate

Triumphant Electoral College Pool Last Second Victory Bomb!

It's only been three days since the election and Barack Obama is already redistributing the wealth — from a bunch of my high school friends to me.

The Democratic presidential candidate claimed an electoral vote in the Omaha-based 2nd Congressional District — the first time in more than four decades a Democrat won any of Nebraska’s electoral votes.

The Omaha World-Herald is calling the race after Obama won 8,434 out of 15,039 early votes that arrived too late to be included in Tuesday’s results. They were counted today by Douglas County election officials.

That makes 365 electoral votes for Obama, which is way closer to my projection 375 electoral votes than it is to Emily's preposterous projection of 353 electoral votes. I accept cash or personal check.

You can all buy me drinks on Thanksgiving, too.

Tags: Barack Obama, Nebraska

Historic Electoral College Pool Last Minute Comeback

It seemed like I was down for the count. But after an inspiring halftime speech, the Electoral College is mounting an astonishing third act comeback for yours truly!

Good news for Barack Obama supporters.

His odds of bagging an electoral vote in Nebraska grew stronger this morning, with word that 10,000 to 12,000 early ballots and 5,200 provisional ballots are left to count in Douglas County.

Obama won about 61 percent of the early votes counted before Tuesday's election. If that percentage holds with the early ballots left to count, Obama stands a strong chance of winning the Omaha-area 2nd Congressional District.

Let's go EC! Rudy! Ducks! Benny Rodriguez! Radio! Wild Thing! Whatever they yelled for the Hillary Swank character in the movie I didn't see before they killed her, according to the Wikipedia entry!

Tags: Nebraska